Counselling & Psychotherapy

People come to Counselling or Psychotherapy for many important reasons. Some of them are specific, like relationship concerns & others of a reflective, existential nature - many are usually both. Therefore the therapy focuses on you yourself, the issues you bring, their impact, how they inter-relate, why they are a problem to you, what they might mean, alongside who & how you are, and, if appropriate, what your next steps might be.

Counselling London Psychotherapy – Central London Counselling Services - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
General Issues

Relationship Counselling & Marriage Guidance

For details see Relationship Counselling & Marriage Guidance

• Relationship wobble or difficulties, not getting on, troubled relationship, marriage problems
• Seeking clarity in the relationship
• Fallen into the relationship
• Ambivalence or discomfort in relationship or marriage
• Fear of relationship
• Unable to find a suitable partner
• Difficulties enjoying good relationships
• Staying in or ending the relationship
• Not being heard
• Feeling unloved
• Communication difficulties, speaking about things openly & honestly
• Rigid Boundaries
• Commitment issues, commitment phobia, difficulties opening up to others, making lasting connections
• Difficulties with conflict
• Pushing each other's buttons, difficulties handling each other's sensitivities, feeling disconnected, disrespected, controlled or abandoned (for details see Our Sensitivities - Pushing Each Other's Buttons)
• Power & control issues
• Behaviour
• Affairs, infidelity, seeing someone else
• Trust issues
• Envy, jealousy, resentment
• Difficulties letting people in (for details see Our Resilience, Hardiness & Protecting Our Personal Boundaries)
• Desire, intimacy & love
• Loving "too much" or "too little"
• Co-dependence (co-dependency), care taking role, being co-dependent, compulsive helping
• Difficulties looking after us or others (see Self-Responsibility)
• Influence of our past on our relationships
• Unpredictability of human relationships
• Parenting, pregnancy issues
• Family difficulties, rifts, little or no contact, estrangement, multicultural issues
• Sexual anxiety or difficulties
• FeeIing quite raw, hurt or angry in or after a relationship
• Relationship partings, separation, endings, break-up, loss or grief, letting go

Feelings & Emotions

See also Avoiding Difficult Feelings, Stress, Fear, Anxiety, Our Wounded Self, Inner Loneliness, Our Resilience, Hardiness & Protecting Our Personal Boundaries & Living To Our Full Potential

• Anger management
• Anger at life's limitations
• Frustration – feeling frustrated or unfulfilled
• Boredom - being bored
• Stress (also work & office related), difficulties dealing with pressure, anxiety, dwelling on things, distress, agitation & feeling agitated, apprehension, nerves & feeling nervous, impatience, being impatient
• Wanting to be more relaxed, at ease, worry less
• Seeking ways to soothe ourseIf
• Fearful or fear driven, scared, afraid or feeling like a frightened child
• Panic attacks
• Trauma, traumatised by past events
• FeeIing unbalanced or overwhelmed
• Wanting to be more secure
• Sense of being out of control, seeking selfcontrol
• Discomfort or ambivalence
• Hurt or pain, shutting pain down
• Torn between conflicting emotions
• Making sense of emotions, feeling unemotional or overemotional
• Intensity of our, or others, emotions
• Tendency to absorb others' emotions, feeling porous
• Easily invaded by others or the world
• Living Iife by how others convey their feelings
• Troubled by certain emotions
• Difficulty identifying feeIings when we experience them
• Unsettled, not sure where things are going
• General unease
• Emotional pain
• Difficult, negative, overwhelming, unwanted, painful or "bad" feeIings
• Wanting to overcome emotional difficulties
• Stuck, blocked, closed, numb, paralysed - numbing feeIings or bottling things up, keeping things inside - locked, buried or trapped
• Feeling empty or cut off
• Fearing the "floodgates will open" if we get in touch with our emotions, or let them out
• Loneliness - a lone soldier in the world
• Disappointment & dissatisfaction - unsatisfied or rarely satisfied
• Meandering along in the world - "getting by", living where survival is no longer enough
• Living as if on the sidelines, e.g. waiting for the perfect person or situation
• Avoiding difficult feelings, putting them "on hold"
• Drifting off, remoteness or being up in the clouds
• Dreading certain things
• Sense of impending doom or threat
• Mood swings or dips, moodiness, being erratic
• Envy, jealousy
• Excessively needy, clingy or denying our needs
• Being like a doormat
• Guilt & shame, feeling guilty, ashamed or not proud in certain aspects
• Living like an outsider or observing the world, yet struggling to live or fully participate in it
• Overly defended or defensive, closed down at times
• Superficial
• Need to be more solid or grounded
• Difficulties tolerating own company
• Emotional self-awareness
• Helplessness
• Hopelessness
• Feeling abandoned
• Heart not in life, heart closed
• Wanting to be more open
• Wanting to make peace with ourseIf or others
• Sense of ongoing suffering or emptiness

Sadness, Unhappiness, Lethargy, Apathy, Depression

See also Depression, Inner Loneliness & Our Wounded Self

• Sadness (sad) & sorrow, unhappiness (unhappy)
• Being miserable, not upbeat, "down in the dumps"
• Feeling low or flat
• Sense of Iife stagnating, as if abandoned
• Out of touch or in a rut
• Difficulties engaging in the world
• Closed down in certain aspects
• Nothing seems to matter - apathetic
• Living as if on automatic pilot or sleepwalking in Iife
• Exhausted, tired, lethargic
• Living as if in a bubble or shell
• The pain of living a life unlived
• Depression, feeling depressed
• Existential grief
• Lost personal meaning, purpose & direction (for details see Living To Our Full Potential)

Life Transitions

See also Living To Our Full Potential & Changes & Transitions

• Adjusting to change or a new phase, e.g. post university blues, new surroundings, living in London, relationships, new marriage, parenthood, retirement, etc.
• Life has come to a head & now seeking change or future direction
• Needing a different structure or strategy, wanting to live differently
• Seeking new ways, because old patterns are no longer working
• Needing to change course, or moved forward which can be exciting, yet scary
• Life crises
• Lost, isolated or seeking deeper sense of seIf
• Difficulties coping with modern life
• Coping with new role at work or home (eg. as a partner, mother or father, working from home)
• Personal growth, development & creativity
• Midlife concerns
• Older Iife concerns, retirement, ageing

Self-Acceptance

See also Self-Esteem, Confidence, Criticism & Assertiveness

• Lack of or low confidence or self-esteem, negative selftalk, overly dependent on others or external factors, selfpity - sorry for ourseIf
• Needing reassurance, selfassurance, or -affirmation
• Feeling insecure (insecurity), inadequate, not good enough, unsure, ambivalent
• Self-doubt, -worth, -value, not feeIing worthwhile or inferiority complex
• Self-criticism, -judgement, -blame, -hatred, -loathing; not liking ourseIf; overly sensitive to criticism
• Selfcomparison - I'm not as good as others, over-reliant on what people will think
• Poor selfimage, uncomfortable gap between who we are, our image or how others see us
• Selfobsession
• Being selfabsorbed & -centred
• Seeking self-acceptance, -appreciation, -reflection
• Feeling unlovable, unloved
• Excessive need for approval
• Wanting to be at ease, content with who we are
• Striving relentlessly to prove we can make it in the world (for details see Perfectionism, Control, Being Over-Demanding, Uncertainty)
• Fear of not knowing, making mistakes, being caught or found out
• Identity crisis
• Living with Iife's uncertainties, unknowns
• Believing, that we are "supposed" to have one feeIing, yet having another - often the opposite (e.g. supposed to be happy, yet feel sad)
• Surprised or shocked that we are not the person we thought we were
• FeeIing like two different people sometimes - out of contact with "the real me", feeIing like a fake, fraud or "pseudo self", unable to take off our "mask" or showing one face to the world, yet experiencing difficulty being real with anyone (e.g. wanting to be authentic rather than what we "should be")
• Seeking a safe, secure place in the world
• Wanting to be at peace with who we are
• Difficulties taking responsibility in some aspects of Iife, selfneglect (see also Self-Rresponsibility

Social Situations

For details see Social Anxiety Or Phobia & Life Re-Appraisal - Our Internal Resources

• Socialising well yet struggling to relate
• Relating with others, developing empathy
• Difficulties connecting or "fitting in" with others
• Conflict avoidance
• Socially awkward, social anxiety or phobia
• Lack of social interaction, community involvement
• Easily feeIing disconnected, disrespected, controlled or abandoned (for details see Our Sensitivities - Pushing Each Other's Buttons)
• Shyness concerns, socially shy
• Fear of relationships
• FeeIing as if we don’t belong
• Effects of bullying, in the past or now, at home or workplace

How We Behave

For details see How We Behave, Perfectionism, Control, Being Over-Demanding, Uncertainty, Self-Esteem, Confidence, Criticism & Assertiveness & Our Resilience, Hardiness & Protecting Our Personal Boundaries

• Wanting to change unhelpful behaviour
• Acting in problematic ways which become stressful
• Seeing ourseIves acting or "putting on an act", yet seem unable to stop.
• The effects of our actions on both us & others
• Rationalising our behaviour, yet not quite believing our rationalisations
• Wondering why we behave the way we do (see also Our Wounded Self)
• Losing control at times
• Behaving in ways as if to compensate how we feeI inside
• Effects of making impulsive decisions
• Apologising & saying sorry - always or never, forgiveness issues
• Doing things against our better nature
• Perfectionism, being over-demanding, paying attention to detail, fear of making mistakes, getting things wrong, failure or not knowing
• Excessively goal orientated, over-demanding of us or others
• Trying very hard, yet not seem to be getting anywhere
• Overly competitive, e.g. win at all costs
• Aggression, out of control aggressive behaviour
• Attacking, throwing verbal insults, blaming, criticising
• Power - empowering or disempowering us or others
• Masochistic behaviour - punishing or rewarding ourseIf in unhelpful ways
• Tendency to self-sabotage, impulsive acts or being selfdestructive
• Seeking ways to put less pressure on us
• Falling back to old ways or patterns
• Wanting to change negative cycles
• Going around in circles
• In a hole, yet unable to stop digging
• Playing out familiar scenarios
• Person of extremes - all or nothing
• Control issues, being controlling or controlled (for details see Our Sensitivities - Pushing Each Other's Buttons)
• Being surrounded with so much stimulus & choices, that we feel overwhelmed
• Effects of creating dramas & excitement
• Blowing things out of proportion
• The way we get, or don't get our needs met
• Keeping busy without giving time to us
• Stuck in certain roles
• Unhelpful character changes, e.g. when driving, drinking or in intimate moments
• Exploration of the faces we show to the world, e.g. "cool", "clever", "important", "world saviour", "pacifier", "poor me", "grumpy", "cynic", "martyr", "bully", "rebel", "joker"
• People pleasing, overly compliant, always keeping people happy, or making it better for everyone
• Avoiding certain things, e.g. hating confrontation, conflict, arguments, rows
• Problems with authority
• Difficulties giving, asking for, or receiving help (see also Relationship Counselling & Marriage Guidance)
• Our head "up in the clouds"
• Clumsiness
• Having too loose or too tight rules or boundaries
• Passivity, withdrawing, withholding, sulking, shutting down, putting up a wall, "the silent treatment", passive aggression
• Cynicism, being cynical, inner cynic, meanness, unkindness
• Difficulties giving or receiving, initiating or retreating
• Assertiveness issues, being unassertive, difficulties taking the initiative or saying "No"
• Struggling to impact on the world (for details see Our Will - Mobilising Our Resources To Act)
• Uncomfortable gap between how we behave & who we are inside (see Our Identity)

Excessive Habits, Drives, Feeling Out Of Control, Compulsions & Addictions

For details see Unwanted Habits & Addictions

• Dependency on alcohol, work, etc., to feeI good
• Alcohol issues, binge drinking, alcoholism, alcoholic concerns
• Computer & internet overuse or misuse, (e.g. computer, gaming - console or video games, virtual reality)
• Internet sex & pornography addiction (problematic online sexual activity, cybersex or cyber-relationships, cyber affairs, online sex, the dark side of the internet)
• FeeIing out of control, other drives, compulsions, addictions, e.g. comfort eating, overeating, binge eating, shopping habit, gambling
• "Communication addiction" (excessive emailing, texting, messaging, telephone or internet use, etc.)
• Living with someone with an addictive problem
• "Addicted" to love or relationships

How We Think

See also How We See The World, Our Thoughts & Beliefs, Stress, Fear, Anxiety, Self-Esteem, Confidence, Criticism & Assertiveness & Our Resilience, Hardiness & Protecting Our Personal Boundaries

• Living in our head (see also Not Knowing – Our Need To Be In Control)
• Wanting to be understood or to clarify thoughts - why we are the way we are
• Out of sorts, concerned & not knowing exactly why
• Difficulties understanding parts of Iife
• Conflicting or contradictory thoughts, contradictions
• Confused, wanting to untangle or dissolve our confusion, flipping from one view to another
• Seeking clarity or understanding of thought processes, how our mind works
• Dilemmas
• Thinking in compartmentalised boxes
• Either/Or thinking - eg. right/wrong, good/bad, success/failure
• Negative thought patterns or restrictive beliefs
• Catastrophic fantasies, believing that something bad will happen
• Preoccupation with future scenarios or dwelling on the past, difficulties living in the present moment, caught between the past & what might be (see also Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go)
• Making poor decisions or misjudgements
• Unable to see other possibilities or creative solutions
• Nothing seems to fit
• Dyslexia difficulties, dyslexic support
• Forgetfulness
• Overwhelmed by too many possibilities
• Over-thinking or over-analysing, "head overloaded, full of stuff"
• Constantly searching for answers
• Need to know everything
• Rationalising, tendency to rationalise & ignore our feeIings, or our own principles
• Difficulties shifting from our mind to our heart

Motivation & Will

For details see Accessing Motivation, Acting On Our Will, Connecting To Our Own Inner Direction & Changes & Transitions

• Procrastination, difficulties choosing, deciding, acting, completing; putting things off; time wasting; indecisiveness, delaying, postponing or hesitating over important decisions & putting our ideas into action; lacking a driving force; seeing things through; starting with enthusiasm, yet unable to finish things
• Lacking goals
• Risk taking
• Seeking the courage to change
• Motivation issues
• Floating around in Iife
• Wanting to be more resilient
• Blurred future
• Difficulties determining what we really want
• Knowing what we want but finding it hard to act
• Settling for whatever happens, going along with things
• Wanting to step out into a new road

Men’s & Women's Concerns

• Men's problems, masculinity, being a father, dad
• Women's problems, femininity, being a mother, mum
• Sex difficulties, sexuality & sexual identity
• Our identity as a man or woman, being male or female

Culture

• The effects of adjusting to and living in a different country or culture - feeIing like a "foreigner" or "outsider", integrating into living in London
• Impact of culture, cultural issues - discrimination, oppression, exploitation, family rifts

Health Concerns

• Physical health related problems, coping with illness
• Comfort eating, binge eating, overeating (see also Unwanted Habits & Addictions)
• Sleep problems, insomnia, disturbed sleep, difficulties falling asleep or awaking
• Hair pulling, plucking, trichotillomania (see also Stress, Fear, Anxiety)
• Psychological health

Work

See also Work-Life Integration & Workplace Counselling Services

• Work-Life integration, e.g. "married to work", overworking, "workaholism", being a "workaholic"
• Doing unfulfilling work
• Employment, job difficulties
• Harassment & bullying (subtle & not so subtle)
• Career dilemmas
• Redundancy
• Burnout concerns

Impact Of Our Past

See also Impact Of Our Past & Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go

• Memories, circumstances & events over time, that hold us back
• Problems recovering from Iife's disruptions
• Issues or wounds from childhood
• Impact of early or recent trauma
• Abuse - child, childhood, emotional, physical, sexual

Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Letting Go

See also Grief & Bereavement Counselling, Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go & Living To Our Full Potential

• Bereavement or grief about a loved one
• Mourning
• Effects of pregnancy termination or miscarriage on men & women
• Effects of what was once, is no longer
• Loss of power, control
• Loss of our identity
• Grieving a friendship or relationship
• Loss of love
• Loss of interests
• Letting go
• Endings & beginnings

Counselling London Psychotherapy – Existential Counselling - Counselling Services London - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Reflective, Existential Concerns

Grieving

• Grieving that nothing seems to matter anymore
• Tearful & moved, yet not depressed
• Midlife crisis (mid-life crisis)
• Grieving aspects of our Iife so far & the mistakes we have made
• Wishing we have done, or are doing more
• The effects of the world around us reducing, e.g. friends, socialising, etc.
• Loss, grief or letting go of a stage of Iife - what was or what might have been
• Other issues of middle or older Iife
• Death anxiety - facing our own mortality, fear of death, dying
• Existential grief

Feeling Stuck

• Life rewarding, yet unfulfilling - seeking inner fulfilment
• Disillusioned, dissatisfied or disappointed - what's the point?
• Questioning our Iife & achievements
• Doing lots of things, yet not being fully engaged
• Loss of focus or life purpose
• Overwhelmed or confused

Something Amiss

• Sensing a gap in Iife
• Sense of pointlessness, aimlessness or alienation
• Sense of life passing by - drifting in the world
• Sense of emptiness or loneliness
• Existential angst

Stirring, Longing

• Needing a different role in Iife
• Desiring a different Iife impetus
• Seeking our inner direction
• Seeking our home truths
• Stirred by Iife's mysteries
• Yearning or longing for deeper connection, inspiration or significance
• Wanting to live to full potential

Life Direction

• Realising that it is not us, who is driving our Iife
• Life or work direction - reaching a "what now?" stage
• At some sort of crossroads, threshold or turning point

Meaning in Life

• Seeking a life meaning or context
• Searching for a deeper sense of identity
• A need to belong

Dreams

• Dreaming & the dreams we dream
• Dream interpretation, wondering what our dreams might mean

Freedom & Responsibility

• Searching for personal freedom
• Exploration of how to live with free will, choice & responsibility
• Struggles with our morals & values
• Living Iife with its limitations

Our Mortality

• Coming to terms with our own fragile earthly existence, our mortality & fear of dying

Spirituality & Religion

• Challenges to our creative or spiritual Iife
• Reactions to spiritual awakening
• Religious matters