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Counselling London – Shopaholism, Shopping Addiction, Compulsive Shopping, Oniomania – Psychotherapy London
Compulsive Shopping, Shopping Addiction & Shopaholism - Shopaholics, Shopping Addicts, Addicted To Buying, Online Auction Addiction
Shopping Addiction, Oniomania - Our Responses, Reactions Many of us enjoy shopping. It can alter our mood, give us a sense of control. Yet for some, our level of shopping can become out of control, when we gradually allow it to consume us. In a confusing, uncertain & sometimes meaningless world, at least shopping can have some predictability, so we can end up creating our own world of shopping. Our shopping experience can give us temporarily lift in mood and sense of worth. We may even amusingly boast we are a "shopaholic". Others may have joked with us, or show their concerns. Even we may try to see our compulsive buying as trivial. We may have a love-hate relationship with shopping, where there is also a growing dependency & isolation. We may become preoccupied with the amount of shopping we do and have developed a buying obsession. Becoming slowly addicted to shopping, we can end up compelled to buy things we don't really need or want. We may have become secretive, often shopping alone, or not tell the whole truth about our spending patterns. We may become agitated when we stop shopping, as if we are addicted to our behaviour (compulsive shopping, shopaholism, shopping compulsion, addicted to spending money, impulsive shopping or shopping addiction, oniomania - whatever label we give to it). Our compulsive buying may have enormous financial consequences. Eventually our "shopaholism" affects not only us but others around us, so much so that we may end up concealing, minimising, denying what we do. Whole other areas of our life may have been neglected. We may have tried to stop "being a shopaholic", yet have been unsuccessful. Counselling & psychotherapy can offer shopping addiction help.
Rising & Falling Hopes Or Moods Our shopping experience can have some familiarity & predictability, giving us a lift, keeping us temporarily safe. Some of us may struggle with life's uncertainties, unknowns, ambivalence, contradictions, conflicts, what's in our control. And after our shopping conquest when have bought something or have found the perfect thing we are looking for, we may experience elation or temporary relief. Compulsive shopping (whether physically shopping, shopping online or online auctions) affects our mood. Contradictory or mixed emotions, may follow. Our hopes then fall where depression & guilt (maybe about what we've spent, the after effects, our secrets & lies) may follow. When we become hooked, we have a range of intense experiences before we shop. We might gradually feel tense, anxious inside, have excitement, anticipate shopping scenarios become preoccupied (often wanting to shop alone, without interference) with our need to buy something. In our anticipation, our hopes are raised we embark upon our search, bringing us temporary relief. Yet another tension may follow in trying to find the thing we are looking for. We may be in a trance-like state, feeling out of control. Many of us may become excited, with an adrenaline rush, as if we are on a hunt, waiting for the kill to reach its climax - the purchase. We can be happy if only at times for a split second. (Buying the "wrong thing" can occupy our minds until we find ways of rectifying this.) Returning home, we may want to hide or squirrel away what be bought from others, be secretive about the money we spent. To relieve our guilt, we may return to this circular behaviour.
Compulsive Spending Cycles Compensating for something else, we may have developed a habit of compulsive buying. Empty, alienated or lonely inside, shopping (or having access to new funds) can temporarily make us feel better, as we forget about our sorrows. Shopping can give us comfort or a sense of importance. Yet disappointment, guilt or shame may follow our compulsive buying. Caught in our shopping cycle, we may want to spend our way out of depression. We may have a sense of emptiness, loneliness, boredom, sense of meaninglessness, not feeling lovable inside. Hungry inside, we may be longing for or desiring something that deep inside we know can't help us, and grieving this loss we turn to shopping once again. Obsessively searching for something to buy may also indicate a deeper search or connection in life. Our underlying needs may have been overlooked. Forgetful, we may procrastinate. We may now be seeking help for shopping addiction.
What Else May Be Going On Inside Besides our shopping, we may have some underlying feelings & anguish. We may have begun to use shopping as an outlet to ignore our own unresolved problems. We may feel disappointed or dissatisfied in our relationship or marriage. Things may be not the way we would like them to be. We may feel powerless, and shopping can give us a sense of revenge. Some of us may overspend as a way of having some control over our partner. We may be angry, struggling to express this. Some may search for approval, affirmation, validation, recognition, appreciation or confirmation. We may also be dissatisfied about our size, shape or weight (see also Our Body). We may be overly concerned about our body image - our esteem. How we feel about our body may also be affecting our need to shop. Buying new clothes can make us feel better about the way we look. Yet if they don't fit we can become demoralised. And not all of us may experience positive feelings, especially if we can't find what we want to buy or compare ourselves with others. We may have envy - unfairly comparing our self with others that we lack something, so we want something & have to shop. Inside we may also fear dying or have existential concerns.
Online Shopping Addiction Shopping online can be very convenient, time saving. We may have a compulsive need to shop online, and when not shopping online, get irritable, anxious or despairing. Spending a lot of time online shopping, we can become socially isolated. Sometimes our level of participation in online auctions can become almost like a gambling addiction.
Online Auction Addiction Online auctions are a helpful platform to buy, sell & trade almost anything. They can be convenient, fun & rewarding. relationships & friendships can be developed between buyers & sellers. Using online auctions can be a way of relieving our stress. They can appeal to our competitive side, we can feel powerful, and when we "win", we may desire more & more. Like an addict, we can get a thrill or "rush" from the chase, hunt, countdown, winning the prize & sense of bargain. Immersed into or addicted to online auctions, we may want to repeat our online auctioneering over & over again. We may have developed an online auction compulsion, dismissing the consequences of our actions. We may be in trouble with our online auction habit when we seem unable to control our desire & feelings, when the time we spend increases in order to build up our level of excitement, when we become preoccupied by our online auction problem.
