Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Changes, Transitions - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Changes & Transitions

Crisis As An Opportunity Some of us may experience part of our Iife as stagnant and we are ready for change. Others may be in a life crisis. What is happening (or not happening) can also be viewed as symptoms pointing to a need for change, or adjusting to a new transition. Others may assume that a crisis is negative, because it is difficult and painful. However, it may also be a sign that needs paying attention to, an opportunity for change or transformation. (For details see Viewing Issues As Symptoms)

Change is ever present, unavoidable & is a natural process, like nature's seasons. Nothing stays still. Our thoughts, feeIings, moods, perceptions & bodies transform throughout our Iife. We, and the world, are in a constant flux, which requires us to move & respond. Windows of opportunity present themselves, sometimes briefly. We can sense a wind of change in the air. Sometimes if we don't embrace & flexibly adapt to change, there can be a cost to our relationships, jobs & creativity. It is understandable that some of us fear change, get anxious or procrastinate, waiting for change – even wanting it, but not making it happen. We can sometimes embrace change with small steps, yet at other times change can call upon us to take a leap. Knowing how to change, can be one challenge, and doing it – another. (See also Accessing Motivation, Acting On Our Will)

Be the change you want to see in the world. Mahatma Ghandi

How Change Tests Us Sometimes we can reach a crossroads or turning point. Fear of failure or success can prevent us changing. We are creatures of habit & routine, yet some of our routines may be hindering us. So some, usually familiar changes - the ones we tend to anticipate & expect, can be easier to manage, than the unpredictable, unexpected or unfamiliar changes - ones we can't plan or anticipate. Change can affect us, testing our deepest sense of who we are - our centre. As we let go of old ways of being, redundant thoughts, beliefs & habits, our rhythm & flow of Iife may be disturbed. When we are in transition, we are often between stages and identities, and we can become disorientated, uncertain or more vulnerable because we are leaving behind the familiar. For some it may be painful to let go of friendships, which no longer serve or support us. Our healthy boundaries can support us with changes. The effects of change can challenge our resilience, hardiness & confidence.

Transitions When our Iife is in transition, memories of previous transitions often occur. Transitions are the time of loss, uncertainty & of letting go. Endings, loss & grief reignite previous ones. The temporariness of situations & of Iife is often realised.

Time For Renewal Life is full of many stages & we learn to adapt & transform through each new phase. The time might be right to renew the way we live in some way, so we are able to adapt to a new phase or path in life, not always sure where this takes us. This may or may not also point to our existential struggles or re-examining our own meaning, purpose & direction (see Living To Our Full Potential).

The ability to manage & embrace change can be assisted by:

• Being in touch with our intention to change
• Be clear what it is we want & what needs to change
• Acknowledging that change is inevitable
• Acknowledging that there may be a part of us which doesn't want to change or sabotage change
• Accepting that many things are not predictable
• Managing our anxiety & internal conflicts
• Tolerating uncomfortable or difficult feelings
• Acknowledging that change can be good or positive & lead to growth
• Viewing problems & crises also as opportunities
• Being inquisitive & open about change
• Being willing to move physically, emotionally & psychologically
• Accepting that change sometimes won't be easy or painless
• Acknowledging and embracing sacrifices, challenges & letting go
• Acknowledging our basic abilities to adapt
• Wondering & being curious what the challenge of change might mean for you & what needs to be transformed
• Checking that the direction we head in, is getting us where we want to be
• Managing life's confusions, dilemmas, ambiguities, double-binds, paradox
• Having a plan
• Having an adaptable, creative way of thinking
• Changing simple routines or habits (can be good training to cope with the unexpected, unfamiliar or uncontrollable)
• Keeping some routine, which can give us a sense of stability & security, is also useful, and provides support for us during unexpected changes
• Finding a balance (centred) between the habits & routines we keep and those we can let go of
• Having tools to face & overcome the challenges of change
• Exploration of our limitations & willingness to take risks
• Being with positive, supportive people
• Being able to see a bigger picture
• Accepting what is in our control, and what isn't
• Being clear about what will not change in us, e.g. our values – knowing what we value
• Knowing what's really important for us in the world & what we appreciate
• Connecting to what matters & our own purpose
• Optimising our health

Transformation The issues & concerns, important though they are, may also be seen as symptoms, carrying emerging messages towards something changing or transforming for us. Counselling & psychotherapy can explore not only your immediate concerns, but also what else might be happening in your Iife, pointing to your growth. For some a new stage of Iife & identity may emerge.