Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling London, Depression Help, Depression Treatment, Depression Symptoms, Counsellor London
Depression

Depression There can be a stigma attached to depression. We can all get depressed from time to time, and when we are, nothing can feel worse than someone telling us to cheer up, putting pressure on us to always stay positive. Fragile human beings that we are, we are all susceptible & vulnerable to depression, each person has a set of reactions impacting upon their spirits. Finding our own way through our depression, so it doesn't dominate us, can be challenging. There is a misleading tendency to use the word depression in men & women as a catch-all term for being in limbo, despondency, apathy, lethargy, gloominess, sadness, sorrow, unhappiness, melancholy, boredom, mood dips, confusion, feeling low, sad, morose, down, moping, sombre, miserable, gloomy, unmotivated, stuck in a rut or simply not enjoying things the way we used to. It can be as if we are surrounded by a fog of feeling blue. Some of us may mistake our depression for disappointment. For others their depression casts a long shadow over them, and can be like a big weight on our shoulders. So I am interested in exploring with you exactly what it is you are experiencing, how it's like for you, alongside supporting you in finding your own way through depression.

FeeIing Stuck The above quote can seem strange & unwelcome to us if we are feeling depressed, yet often our depression is a signal or symptom – an indication of something that needs paying attention to. Something may have gone wrong in our life, which may weigh us down. We may struggle to acknowledge many situations as temporary. It may be even harder to find one positive thing from our situation. Some of us may have a tendency to sink into our feeIings, remaining lost or stuck, as depression permeates our world going through the motions, as if depression is our only identity. This can also affect our imagination & creativity. Struggling to be flexible, it can be as if our depression is embedded in us. We all hold on to things which no longer work and letting go, surrendering to what is may be a challenge for some, yet may bring us peace of mind. Our depression disempowers us and the counselling & psychotherapy can help in finding more empowering ways.

Our Inner World We may have reached a stage when we are simply getting by & have lost our spark. Despondency may wash over us. Even the small things may now bother us. Despite being in the company of others, we can be alone, isolated & trapped, as if we are cocooned or in a prison. Grey or dark inside & outside, storm clouds may gather and we struggle to acknowledge that the storm will pass or see the horizon, as we seek depression help, or depression treatment. We may struggle to think rationally, with an open mind. It can be as if our very identity becomes our depression and we struggle to choose to feel anything else or do something worthwhile to take us out of it.

Fear can be a familiar companion Hope can seem far off in the distance. When depressed our esteem plummets and may have difficulties concentrating or making decisions. We can feel helpless, frightened, despairing, guilty, ashamed, selfblaming, angry or bitter. Trapped in our world, which now seems grey, we can find it hard to comfort ourseIf, receive comfort from another or reach out to others to comfort them. We may dwell on unhelpful thoughts, which we may find hard to filter. What makes some people happy doesn't work for others, and the therapy can review with you how you emotionally respond when you are not happy.

Happiness We may believe that we should always be happy, not suffer, struggling to come to terms with accepting suffering as a part of our human condition. We may need to take some pressure off us to be happy, especially if we believe we should be perfectly happy. Some of us may choose to focus on the wrong things, which continue to make us unhappy. We may overlook valuing the small things, which makes us happy. Doing what's natural & right can support our happiness. We may defer our happiness "that is for tomorrow, not now", waiting for the right moment which never seems to arrive, finding it hard to give us permission to be happy, moment by moment. Being at ease, at peace with who we are may be our challenge, being happy in our own skin. Rediscovering our sense of humour, maybe the innocence we had as a child - what we enjoyed, can for some put us back in touch with our happiness. We may have restricting beliefs that happiness is only what we have, not what we are, that happiness is a destination and not a journey. And, paradoxically, as we grieve our unhappiness, embracing that we are not happy, a different space may open up for a chink of light to come in. The warmth of happiness can have a ripple effect, so we may want consider taking some responsibility towards contributing to other people's happiness, which in turn may make us happier, hopeful. Disappointed, we may also believe that we can't be happy or joyful if:

• The outcome we want is not achieved
• Something bad is happening in our Iife & everything is not how we want it right now
• Someone around us is in a bad mood or they don't acknowledge our happiness
• Someone close to us has died, or something precious we really valued (a possession, belief) has been lost
• We let go, because others (or indeed us) critically judge us
• We haven't earned or manufactured our happiness
• We have forgotten or don't know how to be happy anymore
• We are not stimulated, on a high or must get our happiness from outside
• Our happiness is not a permanent state, and struggle to cope in its absence
• We are at peace

Change Given certain circumstances all of us can experience depression or breakdown as our bodies collapse & we lose our vitality and we may seek depression help or depression treatment. We all have weak spots and depression can be a normal & appropriate reaction to events in the world. Starkness & bleakness can visit us all. Yet when depression becomes familiar & we get stuck in it, it may be a sign that something needs to change.

Universal Sadness Many experiences can cause us sadness (which is not the same as depression):

• Being with the person we want to connect with, but can't
• Personal grief & loss through someone dying, loss of financial security, a job, loss of health or loss of face through someone's betrayal, etc.
• Global grief, e.g. rampant consumerism, the uncertainty of what's happening to the planet, witnessing greed which harms other people & the planet, destroying what we care about & lack of action, climate change, species depletion, green issues, ecopsychology, global change of ecosystem, animal cruelty
• Witnessing other people's pain & loss through natural disasters or wars
• The soulful quality of melancholia, like a warm glow
• Being inconsolable, connected to existential depression, exietntial grief or regrets
• In touch with the depths of suffering & love

Sadness There are many levels of sadness, some of which may run very deep. It may almost feel like grief at times, not necessarily for someone who has died, more about a loss of something deep inside. Being sad keeps us in contact with other people & the wider world. We may also be sad when we are not in charge of our own life. Our sadness can also be viewed as a symptom that we need to complete painful events from our past, so our vitality can be available in the present. This may point to our unresolved grief, which we may confuse, conflate with depression. If we hold on to our sadness, we can become uptight & in some level stuck in the past. As our sadness arrives almost upon us, it pass through us, leaving us. We may be fearful of releasing & expressing how we feel. We may hold our crying in, which can block our pain. The energy it takes to hold in our sadness can be greater than letting it out.

Wounded Sadness This sadness can be described as the sadness we can get hooked into, because we may struggle to take responsibility & personal care for managing it. We can do anything to avoid this. Some of us may hope that others take care of us (see Caretaking - Codependency (Co-Dependency)). We can be convinced that others (bad luck or even god) are causing it. We may turn to comfort food, alcohol or other unwanted habits or addictions for solace. (See also Unhealed Wounds)

Alcohol & Depression Some of us may use alcohol to raise our mood, yet it is a depressant, and in fact lowers our mood. So our alcohol consumption & depression becomes circular (see Addiction Cycle).

Depression Symptoms There are many reasons & theories for depression. It is argued that some of us are prone to depression. Depression can be associated or linked with:

• Current events
• A significant loss of some sort
• Bereavement or our mourning
• Unwanted Habits & Addictions
• Beliefs, e.g. believing we can only be happy under certain conditions
• The way we think & interpret, cope & plan
• Negative, distortive or irrational thoughts
• Our internal monologue
• Over-analysing – stuck in our head
• Disconnected from our life force & motivation
• Inadequate physical activity
• Re-connecting to who we are & being grounded in our body
• Body vitality
• Not being in the present, here & now moment
• Emotions kept down - unexpressed or de-pressed feelings held in
• Unmet expectations
• Anxiety, anger (imploding, or keeping a lid on it until sometimes exploding)
• Stuck in a roles or identities, which no longer work, even ones we don't want, e.g. victim
• Being bored or unfulfilled
• Familiar sense of impending doom
• Our despair
• Being rejected when younger, because of our temperament
• Conclusions we have drawn in childhood, e.g. we are bad or unacceptable
• Effects of being told we, or our gender, was unwanted
• Inhibiting past issues
• The impact of past experiences, e.g. pessimism, cynicism, abuse
• Prematurely taking care of one of our parents
• Being prematurely selfsufficient
• Failing to meet parental expectations
• Self-Abandonment
• Unmet basic needs
• Loneliness
• Impact of our history
• Unhappy or unmotivated at home or work
• Overworking
• Problems with competitiveness
• Persisting questioning "Should I be happy?"
• Endlessly searching for happiness
• Debt
• Being stuck or out of control
• Poor health, physical illness or pain, food allergies
• Stress, tiredness, exhaustion
• Lacking rest
• Sleep issues, oversleeping
• Holding on to resentments
• All or nothing thinking
• Seeking permission to fully live
• Fear of breaking down
• Mulling over past events, or anxious about the future
• Not accepting "what is" or struggling to let go of things
• Grieving a stage of our Iife (see also Living To Our Full Potential)
• Overwhelmed by feelings
• Stuck in our guilt or shame
• Automatically become guilty or ashamed if sensing happiness
• Physical feelings located or stuck in the body
• Relationship or marriage problems
• Envy & jealousy
• Cynicism or closed heart
• Lack of affectionate sexual contact
• Moving through & beyond saying "No" to something
• Elusive hope
• Tireless search for perfectionism
• Procrastination
• Confidence & esteem, including lack of affirmation
• Coping with suffering, loss or grief
• Pessimism, which can be understandable in times of crisis or what is happening in the world
• Overwhelmed & confused about existential issues
• Lack of meaning or purpose (see also Living To Our Full Potential)
• Overly reliant on routine, lost spontaneity
• Lack of passion, enthusiasm or desire
• Lack of interest sharing
• Lack of social interaction, community involvement
• Lack of kindness, altruism
• Lost curiosity
• Living in spirit draining ways
• Getting older
• Struggling to appreciate or find our gratitude for what we have got & our very existence
• Our existential angst
• Our unconscious
• Some physiological, genetic factors & chemical or hormonal imbalances
• Nutritional toxicity or deficiency

Our Perception We can get used to training ourselves in seeing what we want to see. Preoccupied or overwhelmed, our world can seem stark & dark in an inertia, that it can be hard to experience or appreciate, the small things in front of us, moment by moment & our own intrinsic worth & state of being. Sometimes we may catch ourseIves feeIing OK or even happy, but struggle what to do with it, or even believe it. Simply thinking positively may not be enough. It may be important to acknowledge that depression is an experience, it is not a reflection of who we are. It may be as if we closed down a part of our life and the therapy can explore what went on inside that we did this. These issues can be covered in the counselling & psychotherapy, so we are not so dominated by depression. You may also want to examine what stops you having a happier life.