Counselling & Psychotherapy

Depression There is a misleading tendency to use the word depression in men & women as a catch-all term for despondency, apathy, lethargy, sadness, sorrow, unhappiness, f e e l i n g low or miserable, boredom, mood dips, confusion, f e e l i n g in a rut or simply not enjoying things the way we used to. So I am interested in exploring with you exactly what it is you are f e e l i n g, how it's like for you, alongside supporting you in finding your own way through f e e l i n g depressed.

Depression is something that should be welcomed because it's a sign that something needs to change. I think, prior to all this, I'd been stuck in an unhelpful pattern for my entire l i f e. Dorothy Rowe – male & female depression

Feeling Stuck The above quote can seem strange & unwelcome to us if we are f e e l i n g depressed, yet often our depression is a signal, or symptom of something that needs paying attention to. Some of us may have a tendency to sink into our f e e l i n g s, remaining lost or stuck, as depression permeates our l i f e, as if this is our only identity. This can also affect our imagination.

Our Inner World We may have reached a stage when we are simply getting by. Despite being in the company of others, we can f e e l alone, isolated & trapped, as if we are cocooned or in a prison. It can f e e l dark inside and on the outside it is as if storm clouds are gathering, and we struggle to see the horizon.

Fear can be a familiar companion. Hope can seem far off in the distance. We can f e e l helpless, frightened, despairing, guilty, ashamed, s e l f-blaming, angry, bitter, and have difficulties concentrating or making decisions. We can find it hard to comfort o u r s e l v e s, receive comfort from another or reach out to others to comfort them. Some may believe that happiness is a permanent state, and struggle to fully live in its absence. What makes some people happy doesn't work for others, and the therapy can explore with you how you emotionally respond when you are not happy.

Change Given certain circumstances all of us can experience depression or breakdown as our bodies collapse & we loose our vitality. We all have weak spots and depression can be a normal & appropriate reaction to events in the world. Starkness & bleakness can visit us all. Yet when we f e e l stuck in it, it may be a sign that something needs to change.

Action does not always bring happiness. But there is no happiness without action. Benjamin Disraeli

Depression Symptoms There are many reasons & theories for depression. Depression can be associated with:

• Current events
• Addictions
• Beliefs, e.g. believing we can only be happy under certain conditions
• Anxiety, anger (keeping a lid on it until sometimes exploding)
• Feeling bored or unfulfilled
• De-pressed feelings held in
• Conclusions we have drawn in childhood, e.g. we are bad or unacceptable
• Inhibiting past issues
• Impact of past experiences, e.g. abuse
• Unhappy or unmotivated at work
• The way we think & interpret, cope & plan
• Negative, distortive or irrational thoughts
• Persisting questioning "Should I be happy?"
• Endlessly searching for happiness
• Over-analysing
• Debt
• Feeling stuck or our of control
• Poor health
• Sleep issues
• Lacking rest
• Difficulties accepting "what is" or letting go
• Seeking permission to fully live
• Fear of breaking down
• Mulling over past events, or anxious about the future
• Difficulties living, or losing o u r s e l v e s in the present, here & now moment
• Feelings kept down
• Lost vitality
• Elusive hope
• Tireless search for perfectionism
• Confidence & S e l f-esteem
• Difficulties dealing with loss or grief
• Grieving a stage of our l i f e (see also Living To Our Full Potential)
• Feeling overwhelmed & confused about existential issues (for details see Living To Our Full Potential)
• Lack of meaning or purpose (see also Living To Our Full Potential)
• Inadequate physical activity
• Lack of social interaction, community involvement
• Lack of kindness, altruism
• S e l f-Abandonment
• Unmet basic needs
• Our existential angst
• Our unconscious
• Some physiological, genetic factors & chemical symptoms

Our Perception We can get used to training o u r s e l v e s in seeing what we want to see. Our world can seem stark & dark in an inertia, that it can be hard to experience or appreciate, the small things in front of us, in the moment.