Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Aloneness, Lonely In London - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Differences Between Aloneness & Loneliness

Connections, Disconnections, Reconnections Being alone & lonely can be viewed as the same thing. Through another lens we could view them differently, that loneliness is about being without company, a lack of connection with others. And being around people who interest us, or we can connect with, can take away our loneliness. However, being & connecting with people is always temporary. When we have disconnected from others, we are still connected to our self. When we are lonely, we may have an unbearable feeling of isolation, separateness. At some level this is an entirely appropriate response, because we are separate, and as we become aware of our separateness, we may have a parallel need to be comfortable & manage our own aloneness (accompany our self - being connected to who we are) and to seek relationships with others, be in the company of others in order to respond to our loneliness. This can become a balancing act throughout our life - an acceptance of our temporary isolation alongside our search for intimacy, so we respond to our loneliness. Aloneness can be viewed as being disconnected from our self, struggling to be with our separateness. Being separate & alone with our self is always permanent, whether with others or on our own. We all have our own fluctuating rhythm as to how much time we need to spend with others or being on our own - connecting, disconnecting, reconnecting. This dilemma of how much to be separate, do our own thing, and how much to be part of something, with others, being more comfortable with both (and what we tell our self when we are alone or lonely), can be explored in the counselling & psychotherapy.

Constant Loneliness, Aloneness Those of us who feel lonely, alone, may try to surround ourselves with others, rather than having to face our own company. Others may do the opposite, hiding away, maybe drowning their sorrows, often accompanied by unhelpful habits or addictions, so we don't have to face others making connections with them. Some of us may feel constantly lonely, alone, unable to like ourselves or allow us to be liked by others. Our esteem & confidence may be low. Some of the roots of this may also point to experiences of wounds from when younger. We may have learnt to consciously or unconsciously cut ourselves off because we may be afraid of more pain or hurt from earlier unhealed wounds. Staying in touch with who we are - our own existence, so we don't lose or abandon our self, may be important. How we elaborate our sense of existence by either being part of other groups or developing our own individuality, is up to us. For some our anxiety may get in the way.

Aloneness, Loneliness Now, In Our Past, Questioning Our Future The experience of loneliness & the need to belong can begin in our early years. Painful rejections from our past may compound our loneliness now, as can struggling to lick our wounds when we are alone. Believing we are different to others, it can be easy to conclude that we don't belong or never will (see Belonging below), and we can create scenarios & experiences to prove our loneliness & aloneness in our adulthood. These beliefs can go back years. Reflecting on our future, we may be questioning what is our purpose. This can be explored in the therapy. Counselling & psychotherapy can offer support in overcoming our loneliness and how we respond to our aloneness.

Being Lonely In A Crowd It is well known that we can feel lonely in a crowd. We can be surrounded by people, family, friends, have a busy job, active social life, a stable loving relationship, yet feel lonely. This loneliness may point to a need for intimacy, deeper connection with others and/or a need to respond and manage our aloneness - our experience of separation, being different. Loneliness can be experienced as a state of emptiness, with lack of healthy, meaningful or intimate contacts with others, whereas aloneness (sense of separateness) can even happen around lots of activity with others, e.g. whether socialising, watching sport, dancing.

Our World Of Loneliness, Aloneness We may be happy & content, loved & connected in many ways, yet separate & alone or lost inside our loneliness, aloneness. Sometimes the pain, the unspoken or predictable routines, e.g. in family life or with certain friends, can create a sense of aloneness, which is different from loneliness. We can also be alone & lonely in our relationship or marriage. At times it can be as if we are always on the outside looking in. Some of us can experience the pain of loneliness, aloneness or discontentment to the depths of our very core, especially when we are grieving an aspect of our life. Feeling alone or lonely we may sense there is a void in our world, empty, isolated or desolated, as if somehow we don't belong. Our world may seem mundane. Some of us may struggle with this pain of loneliness, accepting its temporary place in our life at times. (See also Belonging below)

Rejection & Loneliness, Aloneness Feeling rejected, abandoned, lonely can be very painful. We can experience intense sadness, sorrow or grief. Physical feelings, maybe a burning or sinking sensation, feeIing empty, void, hollow, out of touch with our body or for others a sense of heaviness may prevail, when we aren't with people emotionally close to us (see also Our Body's Interconnectedness To Our Thoughts, Emotions, Etc below). For some, our loneliness can be caused by, or causes us to distrust people (even us), through fear of being hurt or abandoned again. This fear can lead us to alienating ourself from others - even those closest to us. Being closed off around others (and our self) enhances our loneliness & aloneness. The counselling & psychotherapy supports you in nurturing yourself & connecting with others, so feeling rejected, lonely or alone is not so overwhelming.

Being Separate Some of us may struggle learning how to be alone. The process of separation, and how we manage this, supports our growth towards being an individual. When we are lonely we can also be overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling of separateness - our aloneness. Our struggle may be to accompany our self, staying in touch with our self. Sometimes we can manage this separateness well and other times get anxious, insecure, feel abandoned, unloved. It can be as if we are inconsolable and that our feelings are hard to bear. When alone, taking charge, responding to our own feelings of aloneness, tolerating & accepting that isolation happens throughout our life can help us manage our feelings. Sometimes with the best will in the world others can't be there for us or give us approval, affirmation, reassurance, recognition, validation, appreciation, praise, permission or confirmation. How we respond to this may be challenging. For some our aloneness, loneliness, may also be attributed to us being out of balance between what we do and how we are (see Being & Doing).

Being Separate, Yet Part Of Something Being in the company of others, and accompanying ourselves, may be important. When we are lonely, alone, we may not only have forsaken others, but also us. When we are separate, alone, we may need to find ways of accompanying our self, being at ease with our life. And being at ease with our self when lonely we may also need to find ways to accompany others - giving & receiving.

Degrees Of Aloneness, Loneliness While it is natural in moderation to enjoy being alone or feel lonely, too much of either extreme may adversely affect us. Most of us value being with others. Some of us crave a lot of stimulation from other people, feeling miserable when this is not possible. Others may be very content with their own company. Not everyone who is alone is lonely. Being alone, simply making quiet time for our self, enjoying our own company, being OK may be what we need.

Loneliness & Being Alone There can be a big difference between being lonely and being alone. People who are alone may lead happy fulfilling lives, being with others when they need to be, so they aren't lonely. We may struggle with how to be alone, without being lonely. Whenever some of us are alone, we may not like this, as if there is something wrong. Instead of always having to be busy, a challenge for us may be to develop our own capacity to be OK with being alone (and our relationship to solitude) and being with others when we want to be, so we no longer feel helpless, abandon our self, or define all of who we are through our loneliness, as if we are nothing, unless in the company of others. We may have a sense of emptiness - a void inside of us, which may point to what we are "avoiding" - not paying attention to inside us. It may be important for us to reconnect to our self - be comfortable with who we are, be in touch with our personal experience of a space – our own space (see also Re-Connecting To Who We Are, Being Grounded & Secure In Our Body below). The therapy may also review how we can be comfortable in our own company without being lonely, or be less burdened by certain experiences, e.g. depression, envy & jealousy and are at ease with our self with others.

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy, Loneliness, Lonely In London, Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Responding To Our Aloneness, Loneliness

Aloneness, Loneliness - Reconnecting We may not want to feel alone or lonely, yet we do at times. Loneliness is not about us being alone physically. It may also be about our personal subjective experience of being on our own, what we make of it & what we do with it. At times we may be missing a deep connection, a certain kind of relationship with another & at other times we may struggle to settle with our self. We may forget our self, need to reconnect, take our own space. Lost inside, we may struggle to be fully present, remember where we are & who we are - all aspects of us, accompanying ourselves so we are less alone. Some of us may wait for others to respond to our loneliness, which may be a long wait. Readjusting how much we give as well as receive, may support us. When lonely, creating social interactions, making intimate connections with others, so we are accepted, less lonely may support us.

Aloneness, Loneliness, Connecting With Our Self & Others We are all different. Some of us enjoy our own company, it gives us the opportunity to do all the things we love to do, tackle things we've put off, learn, be creative & relax. At the same time we may need strong, personal connection with others. Simply being in the moment, connected to our own sense of presence, whether alone or with others, can support us. Whereas for others a deeper connection can be experienced through their spiritual practice or religious beliefs, whether alone or sharing their experiences with others. The counselling & psychotherapy can be alongside you, exploring this aloneness feeling we have, what it might mean to not only seek connection with others, so we are less lonely, but also be comfortable with ourself when we are alone.

Loneliness & Aloneness - Our Experience & Responses When we are lonely, we may need to find ways to connect with others (outer work), yet when we are alone, we may need to find ways to connect to our self (inner work). We may therefore need a dual response towards feeling lonely & alone. When we are lonely or alone it may be hard to tune in to what will satisfy us and our needs, whether it be making good connections with others, or finding out what connects us when alone. Uncomfortable, a point may come when we are on our own when we ruminate, go round & round in circles, have no one to share our thoughts with, needing the company of others on other occasions, we may choose to reconnect with our self. Some may be seeking a spiritual connection. In the counselling & psychotherapy we may also look at both our external & internal belonging needs, so we are more aligned, close to others and indeed our self (see also The Need To Belong With Others below). Psychotherapy & counselling attempts to find out what it's like for you to feel lonely, alone, what helps & what doesn't help, what you need more of & what you might need to let go of.

Counselling London Psychotherapy – Loneliness, Lonely In London, Discontentment - Counsellor London Psychotherapist
Overcoming Loneliness

Types Of Loneliness One way of looking at loneliness is to distinguish it as degrees & causes of loneliness:

• Through our circumstances - We may have chosen to change our circumstances, or they be chosen for us, for example moving to London, the end of the relationship, loss of job or retirement, bereavement, loss of an important role we had. The identity & connections we once had may have changed. What once boosted our esteem or was meaningful for us, may have disappeared. Our loneliness may have been caused by our circumstances and we may blame our self. Things around us can seem hopeless or futile.
• How we create our own loneliness
• "Internal loneliness" - our aloneness, separateness

Modern Living Our modern lifestyle is prone to render many of us lonely, employment contracts, the age of the internet, high proportion of people living or working alone. Even in London, we may still be lonely, despite all it has to offer. Because of our reliance on technology we may neglect to nurture meaningful relationships & real human contact with others. Feeling lonely can creep up on us & we can experience detachment, separation and alienation from other people. We can become anxious that we are on our own without a sense of security (see also Re-Connecting To Who We Are, Being Grounded & Secure In Our Body below). We may be seeking a security outside of us, which we can only resource from inside (see also Emotional Insecurity). Empty or lonely inside we may turn to comfort food or other unhelpful habits, addictions, which may further contribute to our sense of loneliness.

Pangs Of Loneliness Loneliness can at times be painful. We may notice pangs of loneliness arriving out of the blue. We may believe that our loneliness is a fixed state, yet our experience of loneliness rises & falls, and is temporary.

Loneliness In Us All Discontented, we can experience loneliness as if it is our familiar companion, always there in the background, surfacing into the foreground from time to time. We may believe that loneliness is only our experience, not a human given. Some of us may feel ashamed if ever we are lonely, that somehow we shouldn't be, as if something may be wrong with us. Battling with our feelings of loneliness, we may believe we shouldn't experience this, giving ourself hard time for doing so.

Reacting To Our Loneliness Some of us may fear that loneliness may be our permanent state, almost responding in ways to confirm this in our actions, inactions. In response we may try to be with people - any people, just to stave off our loneliness, avoid making meaningful relationships (see also Love Needs, Love Addiction, Caretaking & Co-Dependency). Struggling to stop, reflect, we may keep very busy, drown ourselves in other relationships, which may be superficial, unrewarding, compounding our loneliness. When we have inevitable periods of loneliness, we may also want to constructively use this time to prepare for change, connections with others, for times we are not lonely, reaching out to others.

Turning Loneliness In On Our Self Or Out Into The World People may find it hard to reach us, and even we can find it hard to reach ourselves. We can experience inertia or become closed off inside & to others around us. How we recreate these painful & isolating experiences, what they mean for us and whether we are willing to respond differently to our loneliness, reconnect with others, can be explored in the therapy. Struggling with our motivation & completing things may compound our loneliness.

Emotional Intimacy With Our Self, Others, Responding To Conflict, Confrontation Lonely, some people can report struggles with being relaxed, in contact with others, having meaningful relationships with others & intimacy. In our interactions we may struggle to express our needs, wants, difference, what matters to us and we may fear conflict, confrontation, which compounds our loneliness. Connecting with our self, being in touch with how we are, can enable us to be in touch with others, and this can be explored in counselling & psychotherapy (see also Emotional Self-Awareness).

Being Comfortable With Others All of us have experienced being uncomfortable in social situations. We may get anxious in the company of others at times. Some of us may struggle with setting our boundaries, saying "No", some with being assertive, others with expressing their feelings.

Relationships With Others - Our Interconnectedness It is well known that we can be surrounded by people, yet still be lonely. When we lack certain relationships in our life, we can be lonely inside, even surrounded by friends and family, struggling to connect or be emotionally intimate with them. We all experience loneliness at times, yet our loneliness may become a problem when it settles by becoming consistent & persistent. This may slowly lead to having more negative thoughts, beliefs, behaviours, especially if we begin to isolate ourselves too much. Some of us may struggle with reaching out to others, receiving from others, expanding our social circle, boosting or nurturing our relationships. We may put up walls of protection. Some of us may overvalue our independence or solitude. We are also sociable people, needing a certain level of interaction, and without this, our communication and social skills may diminish. Simply being in touch with the interconnectedness of all human beings - what we share in common, day to day shared experiences, may be important. Our interconnectedness with others may also pose questions for us about the interconnectedness of our past, present, future.

Responding To Our Needs How we are with our self and engage with others, responding to what we need, can support us. Being with others affects us. And we may become less lonely in contact with others, having genuine conversations, as we get to know more of who we are. Creating & nurturing a range of meaningful, supportive relationships may be a need. Some of us may struggle to acknowledge that we need to belong (see Belonging below) & connect to others, so we can share our interests, passions, ideas, experiences, values & love with. We may always want to be in the company of others even if these relationships are very superficial, unfulfilling. We may have serial relationships, struggle to be satisfied, enjoy, or feeI good in our own company (aloneness). Being in touch with our own worth & the worth of others may be challenging for some. Felling good about our self, being interested in something, can take away our loneliness. Besides doing day to day tasks, we may occasionally have a need to be in touch with what inspires us, our creativity alongside what gives us meaning & purpose, so we can also inspire others. These issues can be included in counselling & psychotherapy.

Being Dependent, Independent, Interdependent Our loneliness can sometimes be our survival technique, if we want to come across as very independent, not needing others. Yet if we are so independent we may struggle with acknowledging our dependency needs and interdependence. Being comfortable with being separate, so we can engage, disengage & re-engage, may be challenging. We may also be fearing intimacy. Choosing committment in a relationship may also be a further dilemma for some.

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Aloneness, Lonely In London - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Being Alone, In Our Own Company, Aloneness

Being Isolated, Separate We have all had experiences of being alone, even in the company of others. We may have been isolated, singled out, by being:

• Different, separate in some way
• The last in the queue
• Unseen by others
• Teased, ridiculed, humiliated, maybe when younger
• Simply being aware that we have no company and are on our own

Aloneness - Our Need To Be Connected To Our Selfhood Some of us may struggle with what to do with our own company (our separateness), being at a loss when others are not around (or even when they are around). We may have a sense of alienation, emptiness, which may point to a need to be comfortable, at ease with our self - our own company, whether with others or not. Getting to know, liking & being intimate with the person we are, enjoying our own solitude and engaging in our own ordinary, favourite or new activities alone is a different challenge to being lonely. If we abandon or stop caring for ourselves, our experience of aloneness is likely to magnify. We can do this by comparing us with others, ignoring or discounting our feelings, maybe making others responsible to accept or approve of us, give us what we need. We may also have some unhelpful beliefs about happiness. And as we accept who we are in our own selfhood, we may also be in contact with a need to belong (see The Need To Belong With Others below). The therapy can support you in staying connected and being true to who you are, able to self-reflect, so you are less troubled being alone in your own company, being your own best friend, befriending your aloneness.

Fear Of Being Alone Sometimes we may be so afraid of being alone, that we establish any relationships, even unsatisfactory ones, with others, rather than risking letting go, being in our own company. Rather than risk being alone, we may choose partners, which don't suit us, yet we may end up being alone, lonely anyway in our relationship.

Pangs Of Aloneness Our sense of separateness can come from nowhere & visit us at times as if the weight of our aloneness sits upon us. It may be a challenge for some to respond to being with our own company in less negative ways. These uncomfortable feelings don't have to be fixed or last. And as we allow these feelings to blow through us, they can blow away again. On other occasions we can respond to being alone by seeing and relating with others in way that enrich us.

Learning To Be Alone When we are alone we may struggle to be in touch with, accompany our self, and this can be explored in the counselling & psychotherapy. Some of us can panic when we are left alone, struggling to relax in our own company. Spending time, doing simple, day to day tasks, concentrating and putting our attention onto the things that we enjoy or interest us, acknowledging that these times on our own can be rewarding, can support us the next time we are alone. And when we feel comfortable in our own company, we may also be able to reach out to others, more able to give, with less of a hungry need.

Aloneness When we are alone we may become despondent, disappointed or maybe agitated, as if something is stirring, that somehow we shouldn't be alone. Yet at one level we are alone with our self all the time, from birth to death and in-between. Our aloneness (this "inner me"), experience of separateness, accompanies us throughout, as we enter into the world, leave the world and all in-between. How we respond to our own journey in life, a lifelong journey only we can undertake, is in our hands. Accepting this natural process may be our challenge. Throughout life we experience many losses, separations, connections. Things come into form (like little births) and things end (little deaths) throughout our journey. Some may hold spiritual, religious beliefs, which supports & connects them when alone or with others.

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Being Alone In London - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Responding To Being In Our Own Company

Experience Of Being Alone When On Our Own Or With Others We may have ambivalent responses about tolerating, enjoying our own company (aloneness). Sometimes we know we want to be on our own, and other times prefer to be with others. We may also have different needs at different times, enjoying being close with others for a while, then knowing when we need our own company (see also Being Autonomous Yet Part Of A Couple). Yet the world doesn't always synchronise itself to our needs. Struggling to accept we are alone at times - in this temporary situation, we can choose how much to be anxious about this and how to respond to this. When alone, we may want to enrich our life, absorbed in our own activities at times, comfortable in our own space. We may feel OK, at ease, relaxed with who we are, doing day to day things, maybe creative or resourceful at times.

Solitude Some of us need to be alone to get to know ourself, be comfortable in our own skin. We can choose whether or not to get satisfaction & pleasure from solitude. Being in touch with and responding to our own needs, interests, passions, can be a source of our contentment & stability. Solitude is very helpful to artists, writers, etc. and solitude for all of us can allow our creativity to emerge, when we have creative space on our own.

Being Resourceful When We Are On Our Own Some of us may be bored, restless, unhappy for no clear reason. When we are on our own, our esteem may plummet as we blame ourselves or resort to activities, which exclude contact with others, being proactive. Exploring ways to be happy, do simple things, keep us mentally busy, tackling new things, developing traits, interests, habits can help us be comfortable with being alone in our own company. When we spend quality time in our own company, we can feel mentally & spiritually refreshed. Relishing our own company, peace & quiet, inner calmness, having a sense of security from the inside may be challenging yet what we need.

Being Comfortable With Being Alone Some of us may want to be at ease having healthy downtime spent alone in our own activities, maybe quiet or undisturbed at times, listening to our self, being OK, simply enjoying our own company. We all have a solitary place within us, that no one person can reach - an inner us, which is always alone, a place where we may daydream, reflect and it is this that can be explored in counselling & psychotherapy. Getting to know and being comfortable with this "inner me", attending to, valuing, accepting our self may be a need. When we are comfortable with being alone, the less we want to abandon ourself. And as we see, understand and are at ease with who we are, this can enable others to understand and see us.

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy, Lonely, Loneliness In London, Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Belonging

Making Space For Our Self When we have spare time alone, some of us can get anxious. FeeIings which are hard to tolerate can come up when we're on our own, and we can make ourselves busy with things to do to distract us from getting anxious. This can help at times. Yet our anxiety may never quite go away. Sometimes it is as if we are in a cocoon, and we don't want to be there, yet need to be safe. We can become lost, as if we don't belong anywhere. Being in touch with our own body can support us coming into our self (see Re-Connecting To Who We Are, Being Grounded & Secure In Our Body below). Simply how to be comfortable with who we are & compassionately attend to our own company, aloneness, can be challenging. Some of us can have a stronger sense that we belong by making space for ourselves, learning, trusting we will enjoy our own company, be self-nurturing, avoiding unhelpful distractions, listening & following what we really need – what enriches, supports us to flourish, be in touch with & "find ourself". (See also Being & Doing).

The Need To Belong With Others and be part of something outside of us, is a very human need. Making time for others, doing what we enjoy with others, nourishes us. Being with ourselves, at ease in the company of others, that we belong may be important for us. On a profound level, we may need to feeI whole, connected - in union with ourseIves, others & the wider world – SeIf Love, which can mean different things for different people. This desire for contentment, Love & union with others, participating in the wider world, may for some include a sense that everything is connected - part of one thing, or lead to their own spiritual enquiry (see Seeking Deeper Meaning).

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy, Alone, Lonely In London, Loneliness Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Existential Loneliness

Existential Loneliness Feeling lonely, alone, separate, alienated or disconnected may point to existential concerns. We may experience deep loneliness or sadness relating to our very existence - that we are. We may have an existential need to belong, to be a part of something bigger than just us. What this something means for each individual can be shared in the therapy. We may long or yearn for something which is difficult to describe. We may experience a deep sadness, right to our core, questioning the sense of our very existence. In despair our hope may be elusive, as if things have no meaning, nothing matters, compounded by the limitations of our mortal life.

Counselling London Psychotherapy, Discontented, Lonely In London, Loneliness, Discontented, Counsellor London Psychotherapist
Aloneness, Loneliness & Re-Connecting To Our Body

Our Body's Interconnectedness To Our Thoughts, Emotions, Etc Some of us may not only feel disconnected, isolated in parts of our lives, but also isolated, disconnected, out of touch with our body, senses and physical feelings. Our physical symptoms may be indicating to us information about our emotional health. Being in touch with our body enables us to be in touch with our self. When plants & trees are put under stress, they show physical signs. Our bodies too show subtle or direct symptoms of stress, etc. Sometimes, often through fear, we can hold on too tightly to things (memories, failures, etc.), finding it hard to relax. By holding on, our body can manifest tension symptoms. It is as if our anger, trauma, fear, anxiety, depression, grief, sadness & sorrow, or heartbreak, can get stuck in our body, and our pain can cause us physical & emotional reactions. Some of us view our body, emotions & mind, as separate entities, yet they are intrinsically linked. So when we let go of tension in one area, it affects the tension in other areas. In the therapy you may be encouraged to pay attention to your thoughts & emotions, alongside your physical feeIings - what's happening in your body. Psychotherapy & counselling therefore supports you in any pain or tension you are willing to release & let go of physically, mentally & emotionally. (See Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go)

Re-Connecting To Who We Are, Being Grounded & Secure In Our Body Our body is also our boundary - our own tangible structure in the physical world. Being upright in our body, in our own structure, can support us so we don't collapse, feel secure. When younger we may have given our space or boundaries away, our own stability & ground, and want to reclaim it - what is ours, bringing our attention back into our body matter - that we matter are embodied & in touch with our self-worth . And when we are more connected, in touch with our body, alive to our own personal space, inhabiting our body, we are less insecure, stronger in how we feel, more confident, able to protect & defend ourselves when necessary and participate in the world. Being grounded, feeling intact in who we are can support us, so we are not easily overwhelmed. Being in touch with our body & all it's senses at the same time as being able to observe our self in the world may support us. It may be important for you to explore your own needs - to know & care for yourself, so you solidly belong in yourself, your body, in your own structure, sense of security, centred, anchored & grounded in who you are with your own reference points. And, as we experience more of a connection to ourself - being with ourself - in our own ground, we can be and connect with others. It may be important to be in touch with your own space, separateness, difference & identity - being the man or woman you want to be, taking ownership & responsibility for your self, feet on the ground, connected, grounded in body & soul in who & how you are in your self. This connection to our own inner being, our own body, breath, etc. can support us, so we know & sense we belong inside our own skin, are empowered with our own, distinct boundaries. This groundeness can give us a sense of being out in the world, in touch with our physical vitality (exercise can help us) - being alive in the world & present. "I am still here - no matter what is happening." And when we know, sense & feel in our own ground, we feel less lost. The experience of being present - living in the moment, and where you put your attention, may be important to you, being grounded in the world as you are able to take your own stand, stable, connected to your own values & responsible for what you make of your own experiences, taking ownership of who you are, free to walk your own path in your own authority. And the steps we make on the walk - our walk, may be important, so they become the expression of our personal will in action.(See also Personal Freedom)