Please note that I use the words "counselling London", "psychotherapy London", "psychotherapeutic counselling services London" & "talking therapy" and also "counsellor in London", "psychotherapist in London", "psychotherapeutic counsellor in London" & "talking therapist" interchangeably. I am trained & accredited as a counsellor, psychotherapist & talking therapist and I am happy to discuss their differences with you.
Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Loneliness And Depression - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Loneliness
Overcoming Loneliness Some of us can experience loneliness to the depths of our very core, especially when we are grieving an aspect of our life. We may be happy & content, loved & connected in many ways, yet separate or lost inside our loneliness. Feeling lonely, in our inner pain, we may sense there is a void in our world, empty or isolated, as if somehow we don't belong. Some of us may turn to unhelpful habits or addictions, which may contribute to our sense of loneliness. The experience of loneliness & the need to belong can begin in our early years. Believing we are different to others, it can be easy to conclude that we don't belong or never will, and we can create scenarios to prove this in our adulthood. These beliefs can go back years. We can experience inertia or become closed off inside & to others around us. How we recreate these painful & isolating experiences, and what they mean for you, can be explored in the therapy, alongside what matters to you and what stops you getting where you want to be. We may also be in a double bind, having a fear of being alone, yet wanting to be alone. Painful rejections from our past may compound our loneliness now. Counselling & psychotherapy can support you in overcoming loneliness.
Modern Living Because of our reliance on technology we may neglect to nurture meaningful relationships & human contact with others. Feeling lonely can creep up on us.
Our Need To Be Connected To Others We all need to belong & connect to others, especially those who we can share our interests, passions, ideas, experiences, values & love with. And as we are less alone in contact with others, we get to know more of who we are. Some of us may struggle in reaching out to others or indeed receive from others. We may put up walls of protection. We may also become overly dependent on external factors, to meet our need to belong. We may always want to be in the company of others, have serial relationships, yet struggle to enjoy, or feeI good, in our own company, or in silence. Being in touch with our own worth & the worth of others may be challenging for some. These issues can be explored in counselling & psychotherapy.
Our Need To Be Connected To Our SeIf Some of us may struggle with what to do with our own company, being at a loss when others are not around. This can be explored in the therapy alongside the role we have in our own loneliness. We may also look at your internal needs to know & care for yourself, so you solidly belong in yourself – your separateness & identity, grounded in body & soul. This connection to our own inner being, our body, breath, etc. can support us, so we know & sense we belong inside our own skin & out in the world – our sense of presence.
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.Henry David Thoreau
Making Space For Our SeIf When we have time for us, some of us can get anxious. FeeIings which are difficult to tolerate can come up when we're on our own, and we can make us busy with things to do. Yet they never quite go away. Sometimes it is as if we are living in a cocoon, and we don't want to be there, yet need to be safe. We can become lost, as if we don't belong anywhere. Simply how to be comfortable with who we are & compassionately attend to our own loneliness can be challenging. Some of us can have a stronger sense that we belong by making space for us, enjoying our own company, selfnurturing, avoiding unhelpful distractions, listening & following what we really need – what enriches, supports us to flourish & "find us". (See Being & Doing).
The Need To Belong and be part of something outside of us, is a very human need. We may still sense emptiness inside, as if we haven't come to terms with who we are in some way. We may need to feeI whole - in union with ourseIves, others & the wider world – SeIf Love. This desire for Love & union may for some include their own spiritual enquiry (see Seeking Deeper Meaning).
All the lonely people"Eleanor Rigby" - The Beatles
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Existential Loneliness Feeling lonely may point to existential concerns. We may experience deep loneliness or sadness relating to our very existence. We may have an existential need to belong, to be a part of something bigger than just us. What this something means for each individual can be explored in the therapy.
Psychotherapy & counselling explores what it's like for you to feel lonely, what helps & what doesn't help, what you need more of & what you might need to let go of. You may also want to explore your capacity to be OK with being alone (and your relationship to solitude) or with others, so you no longer abandon yourself. We may also look at both your external & internal belonging needs, so you are more aligned, close to others and indeed yourself. We may also explore how to be less burdened by experiences of depression, envy & jealousy.
Inside myself is a place where I live all alone & that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.Pearl Buck