Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Counselling for Older People, Ageing - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Counselling For Older People

Attitudes Of Society & Of Us Society seems to value & even obsess with youth, and as we become older, we may be affected by people's attitudes, beliefs & behaviours. Society can sometimes value how we look more than who we are. At its worst, the person behind "the label" (e.g. pensioner) can be written off, segregated or unseen. Wisdom can be undervalued. Society can put people (e.g. teenagers, pensioners) into homogeneous groups, as if each "group" behaves stereotypically, without personal differences. There are signs that society is slowly changing, yet the negative stereotype of "old age" lives on, and we too may have absorbed some of these beliefs, attitudes & behaviours, so growing old becomes something to fear, rather than value & celebrate. We may have genuine concerns & fears, e.g. our health, isolation, abandonment, and may want to question what quality of life means for us.

Our Own Attitudes Towards Ageing What our own family think or expect of older people - what they say & how they relate, alongside our own personal narrative of what we tell ourself and our own expectations affects us. We may believe that everything is in the past, or that we have nothing to look forward to. These considerations can also be discussed in the therapy.

Our Role Our roles evolve throughout our life - a natural process. Yet it can seem as some of those roles have been given to us. Counselling & psychotherapy can be used to explore what roles now are important to you. Some people may also want to discuss their role in the family and personal sense of identity.

Loss Living with and adapting to loss can be a real challenge - the loss of control we used to have, loss of our looks, certain faculties, maybe our memory. Loss of status may also have an impact on us. Acknowledging these losses, yet being in touch with our qualities within, may be important for us.

The Impact Of Ageing As we enter, or are already in, a later phase of Iife, we may well need to make adjustments. This may involve being flexible, challenging our own views about ageing, reviewing what wellbeing means for us. Some of us may fight longevity, others may embrace it. A challenge may be whether to harden, fighting against our ageing process, or soften, opening to this and what it brings. Our perspective of what's important and what we value may evolve. As we become maturer and reflect, we may often come up against existential concerns, existential grief or regrets, meaninglessness - questioning what has meaning & what doesn't. This may include struggling in a world which seems out of synchronisation & alienating of the soul. We may be grieving for what was or might have been. What we do with our aloneness, loneliness, may be a challenge for some. Living to our full potential may take on new meaning for us now.

Retirement Concerns Some of us may struggle how to embrace our own identity other than our familiar work identity. Letting go of our work & employment can be enormous for some. Anxiety, fear & relief may be present.

Ageing Concerns We may fear growing old, isolation or abandonment, or have our own personal fears. Physically, as our bodies change, our quality of sleep may decline. The counselling & psychotherapy can offer a space to talk about these.

Coping With Illness We may experience declining physical health. Each of us cope with pain & illness differently & come up against personal challenges & responses. The therapy can support you in your pain or illness.

Life Reflection Pursued by time, our image of who we were & who we are now may be in conflict. Some of us may focus on what we don't have, struggling to embrace what we do. Nostalgic about the past maybe having deep love, memories, regrets, (see also Grieving Over The Loss Of Our Past) you may also want to turn to therapy in order to reflect upon life meaning.

Reflecting Upon Our Mortality Some of us may or have believed that death is something that happens to others, not us. Believing we are immortal we may have been sleepwalking through life. You may want to share what your mortality & vulnerability means for you. You may also want to prepare for death in your own practical way & spiritual preference. Preparing to let go may be a need for some.

Fear Of Death Or Dying We have all at some point in our life feared dying – what some people label death anxiety, or thanatophobia. We may also wonder what happens after death. Our responses & reactions to this fear may affect how we live. Counselling & psychotherapy can offer a supportive space to talk about your anxiety & fears about death. Death is a given, yet we may be so preoccupied that we may die at any time or sometime, that we struggle to value the preciousness of life, the uniquness of each moment, our and others' aliveness. Some of us may fear death so much, that we withdraw, avoid risking things, living routinely or habitually, where spontaneity, new things & surprises may be absent. For some, our anxiety may not be about death, but about how fragile we are as human beings, that life is temporary, uncertain, unpredictable and often unknown. Our death anxiety about death or dying may also point to an existential anxiety. (See also Present, Past & Future)

Change & Transformation Mourning what was in our life, and allowing "what is", may support us in being in touch with what might be transforming in our life, what we value and what's important. We may for example no longer get excited as we did in our youth, yet gain a different depth & quality to how we relate with others.

Reassessing The Present & Looking Ahead We may want to heal our relationships & manage any unfinished business. We may also want address our aspirations, hopes, dreams and what is in the way of expressing love and finding peace. As we evolve so too may our interests, interactions & what matters to us, alongside getting our changing needs met. Celebrating growing older maybe our challenge. Our routines may be important to us, yet at times limit us. Taking new risks may be a consideration. What we do with our wealth of experience, wisdom & insight may be a further challenge.

In the counselling & psychotherapy you may simply want to come along & be heard. You may also want to address specific challenges:

• Aloneness, Loneliness, Alienation
• Flexibly responding to the inevitable adjustments of getting older in this period of transition
• How to be vulnerable without being ashamed
• Remaining empowered, so decisions & lifestyle are in your hands
• Developing new relationships & skills
• Re-invigoration – what boosts our vitality & inspires us
• Utilising our own knowledge, wisdom, humour & resources
• Re-visiting or re-connecting to what's important & what matters