Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Counselling for Older People, Ageing - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Counselling For Older People

Attitudes Of Society & Of Us Society often seems to value & even obsess with youth, and as we become older, we may be affected by people's attitudes, beliefs & behaviours. Society can sometimes value how we look more than who we are. At its worst, the person behind the label e.g. "pensioner" can be written off, segregated or unseen. Wisdom can be undervalued. Society can put people (e.g. teenagers, pensioners) into homogeneous groups, as if each "group" behaves stereotypically, without personal differences. With plenty of role models, the negative stereotype of "old age" in society is slowly changing. Yet we too may have absorbed some of these beliefs, attitudes & behaviours, so growing old becomes something to fear, rather than embrace, value or celebrate. We may have genuine concerns & fears, e.g. our health, aloneness & loneliness and may be questioning what quality of life means for us.

Our Own Attitudes Towards Ageing What our own family think or expect of older people - what they say & how they relate, alongside our own personal narrative of what we tell ourself and our own expectations affects us. We may believe that everything is in the past, or that we have nothing to look forward to, we may be in touch with both the fullness & emptiness of life. We may be in touch with the fullness & emptiness of life. These considerations can also be discussed in the therapy.

Our Role Our roles evolve throughout our life - a natural process. Counselling & psychotherapy can be used to explore what roles now are important to you. Some people may also want to discuss their role in the family and personal sense of identity.

Loss Living with and adapting to loss & new beginnings, opportunities, can be a real challenge - the loss of control we used to have, loss of our looks, certain faculties, maybe our memory. Loss of being valued, loss of status may also have an impact on us. Acknowledging these losses, yet being in touch with our qualities within, alongside what's now emerging for us, may be important for us. Losing friends, loved ones, may take its toll (see also Grief & Bereavement Counselling).

The Impact Of Ageing As we enter, or are already in, a later phase of Iife, we may well need to make adjustments. For some this may involve being flexible, challenging our own views about ageing, reviewing what wellbeing means for us. Some of us may fight longevity, others may embrace it. A challenge may be whether to harden, fighting against our ageing process, or soften, opening to this and what it brings. Our perspective of what matters, what's important and what we value may evolve. As we become maturer and reflect, we may often come up against existential concerns, existential grief or regrets, meaninglessness - questioning what has meaning & what doesn't. This may include struggling in a world which seems out of synchronisation & alienating of the soul. We may be grieving for what was or might have been. Some of us may struggle socialising, meeting others, as we have become a prisoner in our own home. What we do with our aloneness, loneliness, may be a challenge for some. Companionship & being with others may be important to us. Living to our full potential may take on new meaning for us now.

Retirement Concerns Some of us may struggle how to embrace our own identity other than our familiar work identity. Letting go of our work & employment can be enormous for some. Anxiety, fear & relief may be present.

Ageing Concerns We may fear growing old, isolation or abandonment, or have our own personal fears. Physically, as our bodies change, our quality of sleep may decline. The counselling & psychotherapy can offer a space to talk about these.

Coping With Illness We may experience declining physical health. It can be very challenging to find our way to learn to live with our symptoms, health condition. Each of us cope with pain & illness differently & come up against personal challenges & responses. The therapy can support you in your pain or illness.

Life Reflection Pursued by time, our image of who we were & who we are now may be in conflict. Some of us may focus on what we don't have, struggling to embrace what we do. Nostalgic about the past maybe having deep love, value some treasured memories, have some nostalgia, regrets. We may grieve over the loss of our past. We may also want to turn to therapy in order to reflect upon what life means for us. Some of us may also be drawn to a spiritual realm.

Reflecting Upon Our Mortality Some of us may or have believed that death is something that happens to others, not us. Believing we are immortal we may have been sleepwalking through life. You may want to share what your mortality & vulnerability means for you. You may also want to prepare for death in your own practical way & and any spiritual or religious preference. Alive now in the world, for some also preparing to let go may be a need.

Fear Of Death Or Dying We have all at some point in our life feared dying – what some people label death anxiety, fear of dying, or thanatophobia. Facing our own mortality, we may also wonder what happens after death. Our responses & reactions to this fear may affect how we live. Counselling & psychotherapy can offer a supportive space to talk about your anxiety & fears about death. Death is a given, yet we may be so preoccupied that we may die at any time or sometime, that we struggle to value the preciousness of life, the uniquness of each moment, our and others' aliveness. Some of us may fear death so much, that we withdraw (maybe overlooking, forgetting we are alive now), avoid risking things, living routinely or habitually, where spontaneity, new things & surprises may be absent. For some, our anxiety may not be about death, but about how fragile we are as human beings, that life is temporary, uncertain, unpredictable and often unknown. Our death anxiety or fear of dying may also point to an existential anxiety.

Change & Transformation Mourning what was in our life, and allowing "what is", may support us in being in touch with what might be transforming in our life, what we value and what's important. We may for example no longer get excited as we did in our youth, yet being in the moment, gain a different depth & quality to how we relate with others. Encountering & embracing new challenges may be our task (see also Changes & Transitions).

Reassessing The Present & Looking Ahead We may be questioning, or curious about our past, present, future - for it can seem as if all three at times conflate into one. We may want to heal our relationships & manage any unfinished business. We may also want to rediscover what we enjoy or are good at, address our aspirations, hopes, dreams and what is in the way of expressing love and finding peace. We may want to feel valued, give something back, have more control over our life. As we evolve, so too may our interests, interactions, companionship & what matters to us, alongside getting our changing needs met. Developing & building new relationships, whether with our peers, younger people, grandchildren, students, etc, and giving something back may be important for us. Celebrating growing older maybe our challenge. Our routines may be important to us, yet at times limit us. Taking new risks, making fresh connections, being curious may be a consideration. What we do with our wealth of experience, wisdom & insight may be a further challenge.

In the counselling & psychotherapy you may simply want to come along & be heard, reflect. You may also want to address specific challenges:

• Aloneness, Loneliness, Alienation
• Flexibly responding to the inevitable adjustments of getting older in this period of transition
• How to be vulnerable without being ashamed
• Remaining empowered, so decisions & lifestyle are in your hands
• Developing new relationships & skills
• Re-invigoration – what boosts our curiosity, vitality & inspires us
• Utilising our own knowledge, wisdom, humour & resources
• Re-visiting or re-connecting to what's important & what matters