UK Council for Psychotherapy

UKCP

Accredited Psychotherapist

British Association for
Counselling & Psychotherapy

BACP

Accredited Counsellor

Relationship Counselling
Central London, Camden, Kings Cross, London NW1
Glen Gibson - Dip. Counselling, MA Psychotherapy, Dip. Psychotherapy
UKCP & mBACP Accredited Relationship Counsellor & Marriage Counsellor

therapy@counselling-london.org.uk 020 7916 1342

Relationship Counselling & Marriage Counselling London

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2D QR Code Counselling London Psychotherapy

Please note, for relationship counselling, marriage counselling, marriage guidance, relationship advice & marriage advice I only see individuals who want to work through their own marriage or relationship problems.
I don't see couples for relationship counselling or marriage counselling.

Relationship Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Relationship Problems, Marriage Problems, Central London, Camden
Relationship Counselling & Marriage Counselling

In This Section:

Relationship Counselling
& Marriage Counselling

Fear Of Dependence, Commitment
Engulfment, Abandonment, Rejection

Love Needs, Love Addiction, Love Addicts

Trust, Intimacy, Love, Touch & Sex
In The Relationship Or Marriage

Controlling Behaviour, Blaming & Criticism

Relationship Expectations, Hooks, Triggers
Disappointments, Hurt, Attitudes & Roles

Pregnancy, Children & Parenting

Influence Of Our Past
On Our Relationship Or Marriage

Continuing Or Ending
The Relationship Or Marriage

Affairs, Infidelity & Unfaithfulness
In The Relationship Or Marriage

Communication, Conflict & Empathy
In The Relationship Or Marriage

Envy & Jealousy
In The Relationship Or Marriage

Emotional Abuse, Possessiveness, Overdemanding, Undermining

Neglect & Apathy In The Relationship

Relationship Problems & Marriage Problems

Challenges, Changes & Transformations
In The Relationship Or Marriage

Relationship counselling in London, Camden, Kings Cross - marriage counselling for relationship problems & marriage problems

Introduction To Marriage & Relationship Counselling

Relationship, Marriage Context - What A Relationship, Marriage Means For Us We may have different contexts, needs, attitudes, expectations and models about a good relationship, marriage including whether it should last forever, be exclusive. The relationship and marriage counselling can explore what a relationship, marriage means for us and what keeps us safe in it.

Difficulties In The Relationship Or Marriage An aspect of our relationship, marriage may trouble us, it may be fragile, unstable. Things may be unravelling, escalating in our relationship, marriage, and we may want to work out what's happening, or find our way through a difficult time. For all men and women, every relationship or marriage has difficult times, dilemmas, frustrations, pressures, ups and downs, and middle ground. We may struggle to "get" our partner, or they - "get" us. Some of us may never be satisfied, looking for problems in the relationship or even sabotage things. Others may have other concerns... Our relationship may not be very loving. Sustaining and nurturing our relationship may be a problem for some. Inside we may feel very alone, lonely, our relationship may have become stale, stuck. Desire and expressions of love may have diminished. How much to give or take in the relationship or marriage maybe a question we have. We may feel emotionally drained or confused by a certain issue, which doesn't go away. Being an individual and together as a couple, work/life balance, creating quality time presents its own emotional challenges, human struggles, "bad patches", temptations, challenges and resilience - so does living apart. Small things can rapidly escalate. Relationship problems or marriage problems can seem insurmountable. Some of us may be concerned that our relationship might, or has, broken down. There may be a mismatch between us and our partner about each other's expectations of the relationship or marriage. Each may have a different pace. Often two people are at different places in their life journey, and we may tend to look to our partner to resolve our own issues or problems. Relationship counselling and marriage therapy can support us in the difficulties we are facing, explore courageous ways how our relationship, marriage can be improved, difficulties weathered, challenges overcome, letting go of old patterns, building upon, creating its potential.

The course of true love never did run smooth. William Shakespeare
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Strong Feelings In The Relationship Or Marriage Relationships can trigger so many things in us (see also Relationship Style, Attachment Patterns). Our relationship or marriage may have become fragile. In other areas of our life we can be competent, yet in our relationship our best and worst aspects can come out. Being in the relationship can bring out sides of us even we didn't know we had. The person we love can at times be the person we can't bear being with. We may be reasonably rational, yet our relationship may be emotionally difficult or stormy and we may be torn apart by something. Things may have become intense. One of us may be sensitive inside or walking on eggshells. Dialogue may have broken down. All our old hooks and triggers may be in play. Rejection, betrayal, hurt, pain, old wounds, may play a role. We may have powerful reactions if at times we feeI unloved, abandoned, rejected, unseen and unsupported (see also Influence Of Our Past On Our Relationship Or Marriage). The differences between us and our partner have the potential to push us further apart or unite us as a couple, grow in our differences. Relationship counselling and marriage psychotherapy can support us in our struggles or problems, destructive cycles (rather than having to act any of them out in our relationship, marriage) and can help find out what else may be manifesting at a deeper level.

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Lost Intimacy, Healthy Sex Life Much of our anxiety about our relationship, marriage, may be about our need and struggle to be intimate with our partner. This may or may not include sexual intimacy. Empty inside, we may be longing, yearning for a deeper intimate connection with our partner. As a man or a woman it may be important for us not to give up hope for a fulfilling, healthy, meaningful and intimate relationship. In the relationship or marriage we may also have forsaken a lot of who we are. We may have become more like friends, siblings and thwarted our male or female energy, including our libido, desire. Sexual attraction or sexual problems may be a concern.

Negotiating Through Relationship Challenges, Phases Some periods are just better than others and they can be worked through. Things can be going well at times, and other times - awful. We may have a relationship problem or troubled marriage for many reasons: taking on extra responsibilities, a changed relationship with our partner or finding it hard to navigate through a particular stage or phase of the relationship or marriage. We may have initially got together through fear, wanting to rescue or protect each other, and now need love (many forms of love and self-love) and resilience to be the glue that holds our relationship together. Marriage counselling and relationship therapy can support us in negotiating our way through relationship's phases, stages.

Additional Stresses & Strains In The Relationship Or Marriage A range of experiences can add stress and strain to our relationship or marriage. These may include the impact of:

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Disappointment In The Relationship Or Marriage What seemed the near perfect relationship, may have slowly evolved to become disappointing. Our hopes get dashed. "Is this it, now what?" we may ask. The person we once idealised, or our dreams for the relationship, may have fallen short. What started off as endearing (e.g. our partner's traits or habits) can end up irritating us. We may have believed that as long as two people love each other, everything will be fine, yet problems emerge. We may have viewed the relationship as if it is something outside of us, entirely separate, that we are somehow not also responsible. Routines, day to day tasks, work worries may dominate. We or our partner may have become neglectful, as if at times living parallel lives in a transactional relationship, let ourselves go in certain areas. We may have overlooked nurturing the relationship, communicating well. Getting to know each other again and differently in the relationship may be a consideration. our disappointment with our partner and the relationship or marriage mean for us can be explored in the relationship counselling or marriage therapy. This may involve getting to know and revisiting our own expectations and disappointments.

Relationship counselling services in London - marriage counselling in Camden Town, Kings Cross

Relationship counselling in London, relationship psychotherapy in London - marriage counsellor and marriage psychotherapist, relationship counsellor or relationship psychotherapist, relationship as a mirror

Stepping Back, Reflecting Upon Our Current Or Previous Relationships Or Marriage The relationship or marriage may be in crisis, which can be a real worry, yet it may also demonstrate that something important needs attention, pointing towards opportunities to build something new or different, transforming it. Although our relationship may be in trouble, we may be considering ending it, yet also wonder if the same issues and patterns will reoccur in a future relationship or marriage, e.g. wanting our partner to change. Exploration of the patterns or themes in our relationship, our values, how we personally relate and how we communicate as a couple may be a need for some. We may want to learn about the role we personally play in order to change the things we want to change. (It may be uncomfortable for us to look at how we may get in the way of the relationship, marriage thriving by the consequences of how we are, what we do, don't do.) Usually there are various reasons why relationships get into difficulties, and there is rarely only one answer to problems. If only we could solve our problem with an easy formula. Relationships are both complex and simple in our need to love and be loved. It can seem impossible at times to believe that the problem or turmoil in our relationship or marriage can be overcome, that the relationship can get back on track. Throughout the relationship or marriage a lot of water may have flown under the bridge and we may be questioning if the relationship can be recovered. Nurturing the relationship and continuing to learn about our partner can be missing. Developing different skills, and finding our own way to break through any impasse can be possible. Some may be reflecting on what may have been wasted, our lost youth, and this loss may lean heavy on us. The way we are now may also date back to earlier experiences - attracted to people who are similar to either one or both of our parents. Our past can creep into our adult life and for some couples it can seem as if we experience each other at a common level of wounding, hurt, pain (see also Hurt & Pain In Relationships). We may have abandoned ourself, being overly focused on giving our partner what they need, project our unwanted aspects onto our partner and our partner can be a useful mirror to us. Relationship counselling and marriage therapy can help you reflect on how you see your relationship or marriage, what might be happening for you (consciously and unconsciously), looking at your life as a whole, and what it means. (See also Reflecting Upon The Positive & Negative Aspects Of Our Relationship, Marriage)

Relationship counsellor offers relationship and marriage counselling in Central London, Kings Cross, Camden Town

Our relationship is also a mirror for ourself.

Our most significant relationship happens in the first years of our life and these implicit relational experiences become knowledge we carry, manifesting in our adult relationships, through behaviours, expectations and how we feel about each other.

Contemplating Ending The Relationship Or Marriage On The Rocks Our relationship may be at a tipping point, not be thriving. We may have ambivalent feelings, doubts about the relationship (part of us may want to make the relationship or marriage work, yet another part of us is contemplating ending it). Some of us may be clinging on to the relationship or marriage. We may be questioning if we are right for each other. We may be worried that the relationship is over, or think of ending the relationship or marriage, yet at the same time question if we are running away from things. We may want to come to relationship counselling simply to build a healthier relationship, or to consider its ending (see also Cooling Off Periods, Trial Separation, Controlled Separation - Exploring Our Options). And some of us may know that it needs to end, yet fear being on our own, rejection, abandonment. Confused, it may be important for us to maintain a sense of self, and think clearly.

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After The Relationship Or Marriage Has Ended

Ending The Relationship, Marriage Our relationship or marriage may have just ended. The ache of separation can be hard to bear and getting over the relationship or marriage takes time. It is understandable we may be raw, hurt, in pain, shocked, angry, confused, stuck, lonely or maybe relieved. Letting go, adjusting to our new circumstances can be a challenge. Relationship counselling and marriage therapy can support you in this difficult period of transition and transformation. You may also want to use the relationship counselling as a way of learning about you and your role in relationships, in order to move forward.

What To Expect From Relationship Counselling

Couple's counselling & marriage therapy for individuals (not couples) is available for people who want to explore in depth some of the following:

  • Where you stand now, your needs & how flexible you are
  • Nature of your problems in the relationship
  • The role you play in any relationship problems
  • How problems have arisen & what gets in the way of change
  • Your hopes, beliefs, attitudes & expectations for the relationship
  • Identifying & managing your personal problems
  • All aspects of you & your role in the couple
  • Your own resources & your resources as a couple
  • Your patterns in the dynamics of relationship
  • Your role in making the relationship a success
  • Your disappointments & moving on from them
  • How sabotage happens
  • Control issues
  • How to be an individual, yet part of the couple
  • Your opinions & how you behave
  • How you can argue less about who is right or wrong
  • How communication happens in the relationship, your communication skills & learning to listen
  • How to translate any worries & perceptions for your partner
  • Negotiating for good outcomes
  • Ways to open up communication & work towards resolution
  • How willing you are to engage
  • Distinguishing between what you need & what you want
  • The role of vulnerability or tenderness
  • How powerful feeIings like hurt, anger & fear play out
  • How different men & women are (if applicable)
  • How you can change yourself & the relationship
  • Any effects of changes in you on your partner
  • The future potential of your relationship
  • Any unhealthy diversions, impulses, compulsions & addictions
  • Any underlying problems & your early experiences
  • Matrimonial problems, failing marriage, marriage problems
  • Considerations of ending the relationship & looking at other options

If you have decided to end your marriage or relationship, counselling can help with:

  • The consequences & impact of ending your relationship
  • Making sense of changes & losses
  • Recovering from the breakup, divorce
  • Negotiating a period of readjustment, adaptation, reflection
  • Exploring what else might be emerging or transforming for you
  • Crossing new thresholds and moving forward
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What NOT To Expect From Relationship Counselling

Relationship counselling and marriage therapy does NOT offer marriage advice or relationship advice on:

  • Whether the relationship should end or not
  • Damaging criticism of your opinions & actions
  • If you should have a "trial separation"
  • The "rights" and "wrongs" of your partner
  • Changing your partner
  • Marriage tips
Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. Dalai Lama

Questions about marriage counselling or relationship counselling

  • What is relationship counselling? What is marriage counselling?
  • How effective is relationship counselling?
  • How effective can marriage counselling be?
  • How long can relationship counselling or marriage counselling last?

Counselling London Psychotherapy Central London

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