Counselling & Psychotherapy

Relationship Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Relationship Problems, Marriage Problems, Central London, Camden
Relationship Counselling & Marriage Guidance

Introduction To Marriage Counselling & Relationship Problems

You may want to work out what's happening in your current relationship, or find your way through a difficult time. You may be torn apart by something. Often two people are at different places in their life journey, and you may tend to look to your partner to resolve your own issues. The therapy can help you with this.

Not only do we change, but also our relationships inevitably transform and some of us can be troubled by a relationship problem. Things may have reached an impasse or it can seem as if the relationship is drifting apart. In other areas of our Iife we can be competent, yet in our relationship our best & worst aspects can come out. Nurturing, ending or getting over the relationship can be challenging. Some of us may have pre-marital concerns. We may have ambivalent feeIings, disappointments, doubts about the relationship, contemplating ending it. Relationship problems or marriage problems can seem insurmountable. The person we once idealised, or our dreams for the relationship, may have fallen short. What seemed the perfect relationship, has slowly evolved to become challenging.

The relationship or marriage may have become stale. We may have lost or forgotten what binds us as a couple, and as the romance disappears, we may struggle to rekindle what was once. Exploration of the patterns or themes in our relationship, and how you relate as a couple may be a need for some, whereas commitment may be an issue for others. The person we love can at times be the person we can't bear being with. Living together and creating quality time presents its own human struggles, "bad patches", temptations, challenges & resilience - so does living apart. Some of us may feel anxious that our relationship might, or has, broken down. Rejection, hurt or betrayal may play a role. We may have powerful reactions if at times we feeI unloved, abandoned, unseen & unsupported. There may be a mismatch between you & your partner about each other’s expectations of the relationship or marriage. We may be distant or have difficulties opening up.

Our past can creep into our adult life, or we may be holding on to past hurts or wounds (see also Our Wounded Self). Usually there are various reasons why relationships get into difficulties, and there is rarely only one answer. If only we could solve our problem with an easy formula. Relationships are both complex & simple in our need to love & be loved. It can seem impossible at times to believe that our relationship or marriage problems or turmoil can be overcome or that the relationship can get back on track. Throughout the relationship a lot of water may have flown under the bridge & you may be questioning if the relationship can be recovered. As a man or a woman it is important not to give up hope for a fulfilling, healthy & intimate relationship. Counselling & psychotherapy can support you in your struggles through difficult times.

What To Expect From Relationship Counselling

Couple's counselling for individuals (not couples) is available for people who want to explore in depth some of the following:

• Where you stand now, your needs & how flexible you are
• Nature of your difficulties in the relationship
• The role you play in any relationship difficulties
• How problems have arisen & what gets in the way of change
• Your hopes, beliefs, attitudes & expectations for the relationship
• Identifying & managing your personal problems
• All aspects of you & your role in the couple
• Your own resources & your resources as a couple
• Your patterns in the dynamics of relationship
• Your role in making the relationship a success
• Your disappointments & moving on from them
• How sabotage happens
• Control issues
• How to be an individual, yet part of the couple
• Your opinions & how you behave
• How you can argue less about who is right or wrong
• How communication happens in the relationship, your communication skills & learning to listen
• How to translate any worries & perceptions for your partner
• Negotiating for good outcomes
• Ways to open up communication & work towards resolution
• How willing you are to engage
• Distinguishing between what you need & what you want
• The role of vulnerability or tenderness
• How powerful feeIings like hurt, anger & fear play out
• How different men & women are (if applicable)
• How you can change yourself & the relationship
• Any effects of changes in you on your partner
• The future potential of your relationship
• Any unhealthy diversions, impulses, compulsions & addictions
• Any underlying difficulties & your early experiences
• Matrimonial problems or difficulties, failing marriage, marriage problems
• Considerations of ending the relationship & exploring other options

If you have decided to end your marriage or relationship, counselling can help with:

• The consequences of ending your relationship
• Going through the painful process of overcoming emotional difficulties
• Making sense of changes & losses
• Starting anew, developing confidence to rebuild your Iife

What NOT To Expect From Relationship Counselling

Relationship counselling does NOT offer advice on:

• Whether the relationship should end or not
• Damaging criticism of your opinions & actions
• If you should have a "trial separation"
• The "rights" and "wrongs" of your partner
• Changing your partner

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. Dalai Lama