Please note, for relationship counselling, marriage counselling, marriage guidance, relationship advice & marriage advice I only see individuals who want to work through their own marriage or relationship problems.
I don't see couples for relationship counselling or marriage counselling.
Relationship Counselling London, Marriage Counselling London, Relationship Problems, Relationship Issues, Marriage in Trouble
Relationship Problems & Marriage Problems
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Other Problems In The Relationship Or Marriage
Relationship Problems, Marriage Issues As Challenges At some point in our relationship or marriage there may be some relationship issues, marriage problems or difficulties. How we choose to overcome or resolve them is up to us. Solving marriage issues or relationship problems early on can often be beneficial, and the relationship counselling or marriage therapy can support you in this. Sometimes we can believe the relationship problem or marriage issue is about something specific, yet there can be underlying problems at the root, which may be hard to articulate, especially if we feel afraid, ashamed, competitive or our pride gets in the way. Hard though it might be, it can help us to view the relationship issues or marriage problems as challenges, responding in ways that will meet these challenges. "What can I learn?" and "What are the opportunities?" can also be the questions we may ask. Voicing problems in a kind manner, so they don't slip away, may be important for some. When difficulties occur in our relationship, some of us can project onto our partner, avoid our own ways of loving, struggle to acknowledge we are all flawed, imperfect. Sometimes we may experience our partner as not acknowledging problems. Seeking relationship help or marriage help early can prevent matters getting worse.
Relationship Counselling London, Marriage Counselling London, relationship trouble, troubled relationship
Preoccupation In The Relationship Or Marriage
Looking For Problems In The Relationship Or Marriage Our current or previous relationships may never be quite right - there is always something, we may never be satisfied (see also Unmet Love Needs - Preoccupations, What May Be Happening Inside). What we may need to learn may be our biggest challenge. Some of us may frequently test our partner to see what they can take, ultimately pushing them away. Our fear of rejection, abandonment may push us to get in first by rejecting our partner. We may also have a tendency to look for problems or picking holes, which can be quite tiring for us and our partner. We may also get into the habit of sabotaging things in the relationship or marriage, even if (or especially when) things are are going well. Wanting to relax into the relationship may be a need for some. Marriage counselling and relationship therapy can explore what's happening for us around these areas. (See also Confidence, Esteem, Insecurity & Fear In Relationship Or Marriage)
Allowing Relationship Problems To Get In The Way Of The Bigger Picture The relationship counselling and marriage therapy will not only work with the immediate issues we bring, but also consider what else may be emerging for us. Some of us may be preoccupied with making our current relationship problems or marriage issues bigger than they are or making them the be all and end all, or always looking for problems. And just because there is a relationship issues or marriage problem, we don't have to enlarge them and it doesn't mean the relationship or marriage is over. By now we may be seeking marriage help or relationship help. How, when and what we say can influence outcomes. (We may for example want to reflect upon, that a part of what we may be doing is projecting any of our own thoughts, assumptions, unwanted feelings, struggles, needs and wants onto our partner, believing that they have problems, we don't.) Many couples grow as a result of overcoming marriage issues or relationship problems. We may be so preoccupied with past hurts or future scenarios, that we overlook nurturing and building the relationship as it currently is. (See also Communication, Conflict & Empathy In The Relationship Or Marriage)
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Long Distance Relationships
In A Long Distance Relationship Being in a long distance relationship suits some, especially if one person is more introvert, the other more extrovert, yet not others (especially those who prefer to regenerate with their partner). If we feel insecure, become easily anxious, needy or jealous, then a long distance relationship may be stressful and not suit us, if we end up worrying what our partner is doing. Yet, if we tend to be extrovert, thriving on a lot of contact and connection with our partner, then we may find a long distance relationship difficult, which can be compounded if we are a parent. However long distance relationships may suit those more introverted (tending to suit people, who need time alone to regenerate), or when both partners are busy, tending to orientate towards achievement, enjoy time alone on their own and are happy to meet up periodically. Also, for some couples, too much contact may lead to distance and conflict, so a long distance relationship can be just the thing that works (at least in the short term), especially if one of us likes to travel, be sociable, and the other partner tends to be more of a stay-at-home person. For those of us who fear engulfment, a long distance relationship may be a safer option for us, yet these fears may re-ignite if there are plans to live together.
Relationship Counselling London, Marriage Counselling London, marriage trouble, marriage in trouble, marital problems
Money Matters In The relationship Or Marriage
Money Problems Some people turn to relationship counselling or marriage counselling to discuss the very powerful feelings that come up around money. Our partner may have become financially high maintenance. Money can be a thorny issue for many couple, and can be a highly charged subject. Whether or how to have a household budget and how much we stick to it can be problematic. Allowing for forgotten items, contingencies and treats can be a source of contention. Making so called sneaky or secretive purchases can create problems in the relationship (see also Compulsive Shopping, Compulsive Spending, Shopping Addiction & Shopaholism - Shopaholics, Shopping Addicts, Addicted To Buying, Online Auction Addiction, Credit Card Addiction and Money Obsessed - Addicted To Money, Money Addiction, Money Obsession). When money is tight, tension can rise. What money means to us, talking about our needs, priorities and differences openly, how to make the relationship thrive, no matter what our financial situation, may be important. Money problems may also point to underlying relationship issues, marriage problems. (See also Control Issues, Controlling Behaviour In The Relationship)
Relationship Counselling London, Marriage Counselling London, marriage trouble, marriage in trouble, marital problems
When Our Partner Isn't Acknowledging A Problem
When We See A Problem & Our Partner Doesn't Differences between us and our partner are inevitable. It may be easy to jump to a conclusion that our partner is abandoning us and the relationship, that they are neglectful or apathetic, that they put things off. However, when a relationship problem or marriage issue needs to be addressed, it is very unlikely that both partners have an equal amount of motivation to overcome the issue or problem. One of us may not even see the problem, or fail to see our contribution to these difficulties. We may not be ready to work on the problem. We may feel inadequate, wondering that by bringing up these problems, it will raise other relationship problems or marriage issues. Rather than attending to overcoming the problem, we may fear being attacked, blamed, rejected, getting upset or upsetting our partner. For the person who has raised a marriage problem or a relationship issue, it can sometimes seem as if we are doing all the work on the relationship or marriage. We may want to change our partner, trying to get them to address an issue. It can be a challenge to accept and respect that our partner is not ready to mutually work on this aspect of the relationship or marriage, and we could be tempted to conclude that because of this the relationship or marriage is fragile or doomed, because things are unequal.
Taking care of our own needs, so at least we are in balance, may be more important to us than trying to make the relationship or marriage exactly equal, balanced. (See also Balance In The Relationship Or Marriage). How we respond to our partner's perceived lack of response, and willingness to learn about them, can be discussed in the marriage counselling and relationship therapy. We may be trying to get our partner to address an issue, which can quickly escalate into a conflict if underlying this may often be our intent to try to get them to change, and we can end up being experienced as controlling. Choosing to really want to learn (including about their resistances) may help us. Taking ownership of our problem, making our problem clear to our partner, that we are having a difficulty and how we feel about this, asking for their help, can for some facilitate change and bring about closeness. Sometimes doing the opposite things we would usually do, changing our role (the things we have always done, said), or not responding, can open up a vacuum to allow the space for the possibility for our partner to step in and fill this.
Relationship Counselling London and Marriage Counselling London, relationship problems, relationship issues, marital problems
Resolving Marriage Issues, Relationship Problems
Relationship Help, Marriage Help - What Scares Us, Dropping Any Fears Focusing on problems with our partner or their problems can go round and round in circles, resulting in more fear, anxiety, especially without addressing our relationship fears and personal fears unrelated to our relationship (see also Fear-Based Beliefs). The issues in our relationship may not only be about the problem in hand, but also about regulating our fear, so we can become more connected and loving with our partner. As we drop any fears, freer to see what is happening, look into our partner's eyes, relax and slow down, speak in ways untainted by negativity, there can be a shift in how we feel about this person - our partner in front of us as no longer scaring us. Sitting with our partner long enough until the two of us feel emotionally connected can move both of us into a different space. (See also Safety In Our Relationship, Marriage)
Relationship Help, Marriage Help - Resolving Our Relationship Problems & Marriage Issues Some of us may feel despondent, devastated, if problems can't be resolved. Yet not all relationship issues, marriage problems can be resolved. Just because problems can't be resolved amicably it doesn't mean the relationship, marriage has to end. How we view problems and the perspectives we hold, can also influence outcomes. Wanting to change our partner or trying to control them, trying to enforce our boundaries on our partner, not owning our own sense of helplessness may prevent the possibility of resolving relationship problems. Our response to difficulties, problems, can affect the outcome (see also Communication, Conflict & Empathy In The Relationship Or Marriage). Creating the right conditions, preparing the ground, setting the scene, can be more important than rushing in, trying to resolve the problem. Re-framing problems, bringing solutions into other possibilities of responding may be important. What we bring along with us, e.g. our history, assumptions, attitudes, painbody, etc. influences the outcome. Also, if we struggle to detach from our emotions and history, then we may be less likely to resolve the situation. The relationship therapy and marriage counselling can be a place to consider these effects and what we do with them. (See also Influence Of Our Past On Our Relationship Or Marriage)
Concrete Ways Some people want to find very concrete ways of solving marriage problems, finding solutions to their relationship. This may include clarifying specifically what the problem is, being honest with our partner in how we are feeling and clarifying with each other the problem and how we feel (alongside listening to how they are feeling, acknowledging and accepting that both of us play a role), evaluating whether the solutions are working that the relationship problem is being solved by seeing concrete results.
You can not solve a problem with the same mind that created it.Albert Einstein
Relationship Help, Marriage Help - Relationship Problems, Marriage Problems Questions We may have questions relating to relationship issues, marriage issues:
- Can relationship problems, marriage problems be turned around, resolved?
- What kind of relationship help or marriage help is offered?
- What might happen if the relationship problems, marriage problems don't get resolved?
- How effective is relationship counselling in helping resolve relationship problems, relationship issues?
- Is marriage counselling effective in resolving marriage problems or marriage issues?