Please note that I use the words "counselling services London", "psychotherapy London", "psychotherapeutic counselling services" & "talking therapy" and also "London counsellor", "London psychotherapist", "psychotherapeutic counsellor in London" & "talking therapist" interchangeably. I am trained & accredited as a counsellor, psychotherapist & talking therapist and I am happy to discuss their differences with you.
Counselling London Psychotherapy – Central London Counselling Services - Sensitivities - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Sensitivities
Selfempowerment Sometimes we can allow others to get under our skin. Uncomfortable, we can question our behaviour around certain people. We can be overly affected by the opinions, choices & actions of others, including negativity. Counselling & psychotherapy can explore what happens to us & our own power, so we are less in reaction to anything anyone thinks or says about us, and we are able to take responsibility for our own behaviour.
Our Struggles We may at times feeI as sensitive or insignificant, like a grain of sand, subject to Iife's elements. We may struggle to participate in the world, as it unfolds & changes, be resilient and part of something larger than ourseIves.
Our Own Sensitivities All men & women have emotional sensitivities (especially when we are stressed or tired) which stem from our needs & experiences in the world. These sensitivities colour our perceptions & can cause us to react strongly. Usually these needs are very basic. Those of us who are especially sensitive to being:
- Disrespected - tend to respond well when the feedback we receive is largely positive, as opposed to destructive comments & criticism. We feeI better when others seek & value our opinions. People around us need to be especially careful to look & sound respectful. Those of us who have a strong psychological need for respect, can be easily put down or deeply hurt by others, having misinterpreted their behaviour as disrespectful or controlling.
- Controlled - tend to respond antagonistically to directives, but better to requests, thrive on being given choices & it is important for us to be allowed to make decisions & be in charge wherever possible when others can live with this. Those of us who are sensitive to being controlled may misinterpret people's intentions & motivations.
- Abandoned - tend to respond better when we are being heard, kept informed, included in social situations & appreciate affection & closeness in our relationship or marriage. Those of us who are sensitive to being abandoned may misread the behaviour of others as rejection.
- Invaded - tend to respond with anger or withdrawal. Those of us who are sensitive to our own space can get uncomfortable, claustrophobic or fear getting engulfed. It is as if our very seIf is constricted. We can feel unsafe, with too much closeness, yet paradoxically want companionship & intimacy, which may be at a different pace to our partner.
Scale Of Sensitivities Our sensitivities for some of us can be so very important, and precious to us that the way we perceive others in the world can lead us to misinterpret things & over-react. Easily wounded or punctured, hurt to our very core (often dating back from our past), we in turn may react to other people's reactions and get stuck in this pattern, as each others buttons are pushed. This is especially true in our relationship with our partner. It can be a challenge for us to:
- Respond to our own intolerance & that of others
- Control our emotions when other people are behaving badly
- Step back, double check our perceptions & find other possible perspectives
- Take responsibility for the part we play in making sure we don't unintentionally push other people's buttons
- Learn overtime to become less sensitive
Managing Sensitivities None of us are saints, so sometimes others experience us as a difficult person. When we are overly sensitive, we too can choose to see other people as difficult. So when buttons are pressed there are many factors in play, including our own inadvertent contribution, especially if our sensitivities are so precious to us. Counselling & psychotherapy can help us take into account and manage our own sensitivities, vulnerabilities & responses to other people's sensitivities. Therapy also explores how we can protect ourself with our resilience, hardiness & healthy boundaries, and also negotiate our preferences.
Nobody has the right to make you feel inferior without your consent.Eleanor Roosevelt