Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Counselling Process - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Counselling & Psychotherapy – Process Of Therapy

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Counselling & Psychotherapy As A Container

Counselling and psychotherapy can be like "a container" when our emotions seem difficult to contain. Therapy can help explore ways of tolerating any frustration, tension or anxiety. Counselling & psychotherapy can also be experienced as space & time different to any other.

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
The Therapeutic Relationship – How You & I Relate

Psychotherapy & counselling is a co-operative relationship in which mutual respect, shared responsibility and trust are essential. Entering counselling or psychotherapy provides the opportunity to talk & think collaboratively together about your situation and what level of help might be needed. Alongside the issues you bring, counselling & psychotherapy also provides a space for you to be heard, take stock and wonder about what your Iife means & what may be emerging for you.

Tools & techniques can be offered & are useful, yet are often insufficient on their own. Understanding ourseIf is usually not enough - we need to be willing to fully experience ourself, be in touch with all of who we are, feeling solid & real. The therapy can support you in this integration.

How the therapist experiences you in the therapy, is often a reflection of how you are experienced by others out in the world - and we can explore this.

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Relationships With Others, The Wider World & Indeed Ourselves

Counselling & psychotherapy can help us be more in tune with ourseIf & others. Therapy can offer guidance in managing & resolving conflict, solving problems & troubled relationships. Some relationships work better than others. Everyone, universally, has some ingrained ways of relating, so in a sense the focus of counselling is always about relationships with:

• Our partner (see Relationship Counselling & Marriage Guidance)
• Others - parents, siblings, children, friends, peers, acquaintances, work colleagues, authority
• Things & Objects - our virtual relationships, e.g. the computer & internet, work, alcohol, etc., which, when excessive, adversely affect our time & energy in developing fulfilling relationships with real people, or indeed our seIf ...
• Yourself - your internal relationship, the relationship you have with yourself - how well you understand & manage your own feeIings, emotions & Iife ... (see also Self-Responsibility)

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Emotional Awareness - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Emotional Self-Awareness

Throughout the process of therapy we can explore your emotional Iife:

• Recognising & knowing your emotions (your awareness)
• Managing emotions – taking responsibility for them (your empowerment)
• Expressing your emotions (your expression)
• Sources of motivation (thoughts, feeIings, will)
• Recognising emotions in others (interpersonal skills)
• Being in relationships (social skills)
• Awareness of your impact upon others (social skills)
• Building rapport, empathy & connection with others (social skills)
• Connecting with us & others – being kind, caring, warm, compassionate, understanding, affectionate, generous (empathy)
• Social & self-awareness, -management, -direction

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
How We See The World

We all interpret the same events differently. The process of counselling & psychotherapy explores the way we look at the world around us and ourseIf in it. There may be something you want that's not working; how you see yourself getting there and the journey itself may also be important.

We may also explore your perceptions, perspectives, belief systems, any expectations, assumptions & conclusions.

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Finding Our Way Through Difficulties & Old Beliefs

The therapy process includes integrating aspects of our personality, which we might find difficult or unacceptable. These aspects may include unwanted feeIings, parts of our personality or our beliefs. We may therefore also explore the promises we made to ourself, we have held on to or continue to be loyal to, including the beliefs that are precious to us. These may also include beliefs like "I'm not supposed to have needs", "I should...", "I must always...", "I should know" & "Not knowing is unacceptable", that "Feeling vulnerable is a weakness" or "Dark & chaotic moments must be avoided". It is often that somewhere within these difficulties themselves, are pointers to solutions & as we find our way through them, we are able to liberate ourseIf from their binds.

Creativity, like human life, begins in darkness Julia Cameron

Counselling London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Developing Fundamental Life Skills

Some people may want to explore or focus on specific areas of concern. Counselling & psychotherapy can help with this. Examples include:

• Decision making
• Critical thinking
• Ways of relaxing
• Expressing & containing emotions
• Being creative
• Other...

Counselling London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Tool Kit

During the therapy process, you may prefer a listening ear, understanding & gentle guidance. You may also be seeking tools or a structured programme to help you with aspects of you & your personality. The counselling & psychotherapy can work with what troubles you, the different parts of your Iife in detail & as a whole.

Counselling London Psychotherapy - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Life Re-Appraisal - Our Internal Resources

A Iife re-appraisal or audit can be offered. We can explore your external & internal support systems - a bit like a personal MOT, including how you do & don't take care of yourself & get your needs met - what does & doesn't help. These resources may enrich your Iife, support you in understanding (and make meaning of) your experiences & overcoming inevitable setbacks & adversity.

The therapy process can include exploration of how we get our primary needs met, by looking at:

• Taking Stock Of Our Life
  • Where you are now, your influences
  • What you've achieved & what matters now
  • Your habitual behaviours & choices
  • How you express & contain your feeIings
  • Your emotional connection with others
  • Whether you feeI needed by others
  • What motivates you
  • What gives you meaning, status & a role
  • What you really want – what's most important & the steps you take in getting there
  • What might your challenges & resistances be
• Our Support Systems
  • Whether you are living & working in an environment where your basic needs are met
  • How you get your basic needs met - how you give & receive care, love
  • Your values & how you fully live them
  • How you make worthwhile commitments
  • How you connect & live your own purpose & direction
  • Your range of coping mechanisms & support systems, including if things go wrong
  • How you manage adversities, suffering
  • Alternative ways of responding to difficulties
  • How you adjust & your flexibility
  • What helps & what doesn't help
  • How resilient you are & able to soothe yourself
  • Your sense of control
  • What helps you relax
  • Doing pleasurable, challenging, satisfying & rewarding activities that stimulate the brain & stretch you
  • How else you stretch yourself
  • What you enjoy & what your most important experiences are
  • Interest sharing - being connected to something larger than us, e.g. sport, passionate interests, music, art, nature, family, friendships, spirituality, religion ...
  • How you utilise your good qualities, strengths, abilities & personal skills
  • What you appreciate & are grateful for
• Our Future Aspirations
  • How you can achieve realistic goals - the options, choices & actions necessary
  • Whether your life meaning, purpose & direction gets you closer to where you intend
  • Your creative & imaginative options
  • What you believe is possible
  • What your next steps might be

Counselling London Psychotherapy – Releasing, Letting Go - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go

Bereavement & Grief for someone we cared about, or knew has its own pace (see Grief & Bereavement Counselling). We may also be in touch with a personal grief of a different nature ...

Releasing & Letting Go We all hold on to things which no longer work (e.g. the heartbreak of a relationship, resentments, control, grief, being overly competitive, etc.), which cause tensions. Some of us view our body, emotions & mind, as separate entities, yet they are intrinsically linked. So when we let go of tension in one area, it affects the tension in other areas. In the therapy I pay attention to your thoughts & emotions, alongside your physical feeIings - what's happening in your body. Psychotherapy & counselling therefore explores & supports you in any pain or tension you are willing to release & let go of physically, mentally & emotionally. We all have our own pace & often we personally know when the time is right to let go of something, that we don't have to struggle unnecessarily anymore. These may include:

• Our Past (see Impact Of Our Past)
  • Releasing the binds & bonds from our past
  • Redundant Iife patterns
  • Sore spots, old wounds, resentments
  • Our Hurt & pain
  • Stuck memories
  • Things we hold on to, which no longer help
  • What might have been
  • Past grief
• Our Bodies (see Our Body)
  • Tension & tightness in our bodies
  • Emotional release
• Feelings, Thoughts & Beliefs (see Our Thoughts & Beliefs)
  • Living in our head, need to know everything (see Not Knowing – Our Need To Be In Control)
  • Fear, anxiety, anger, depression, sadness & disappointment
  • Preoccupation with future scenarios, or worries from the past
  • Constantly searching for answers
  • Limiting assumptions, meanings & conclusions
  • FeeIing & thinking in limiting ways
  • Redundant beliefs (e.g. "It must be perfect")
  • Believing that if we let go others (or us) will critically judge us
  • Sacred cows, which inhibit us
  • Negative, distortive, irrational or unhelpful thoughts
  • Attachment to outcomes
  • Control what we are powerless to
  • Fixed beliefs, e.g. we are bad, unlovable, what "should be"
  • The pain of choice
  • Loss of identity
  • Loss of love
  • Envy & jealousy
  • Loneliness
• The Way We Behave (see How We Behave)
  • Redundant learnt behaviour
  • Unhelpful ways of behaving
  • Our maintaining cycles - what we keep doing to ourseIves
  • Old patterns of suffering
  • Old roles, struggles we are willing to let go of
  • Traits, attitudes which limits us
  • Unwanted habits or addictions

One does not discover new continents without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. Andre Gide

Our History We can't always let go of our past, yet can learn to carry things lighter. Counselling & psychotherapy can explore this with you.

Old Roles, Fixed Identifications Some of us can be overly identified, or focused on one specific area of our Iife, e.g. a specific role, feeIing, desire, need, thought, belief – so one of these may dominate at the exclusion of others. We may also have a selfimage (e.g. our wounded self, people pleaser, a self-critic, our own inner judge, or a saviour of others) that no longer helps, or doesn’t do justice to all of who we are. Counselling and psychotherapy can help us integrate of all aspects of us.

Mourning Our Losses As we let go, we are often in touch with uncertainty & loss, which can trigger past memories of endings. Our grief & loss can be experienced in many forms. Loss of: power, control, identity, interests, betrayals, rejections, love, friendships & relationships, endings, unfinished business. Being openheartedly able to forgive ourseIf or others may be a need.

Existential Grief Our existential grief, loss & letting go may include: what was in our Iife or what might have been, regrets - wishing we had done more, letting go of a stage of life, our mortality, deep sadness of what we believed mattered, yet no longer does. We may experience this grief right to our core. Counselling & psychotherapy can help us find our way through this challenging phase. (See also Existential Concerns)

Our Body Sometimes it is as if our grief, sadness & sorrow, or heartbreak, can get stuck in our body, and our pain can cause us physical & emotional reactions.

As we let go to what we have been holding on to, we have the potential to be more open in our mind, body & heart. Some report that by letting go they feeI more renewed, alive, present, accepting of "what is" & freer to live their lives now - in the moment. We may experience some courage, clarity, compassion, receptivity or curiosity. In this time of personal transition or transformation, we may be more attuned with ourseIf & others, empathic, responsive, able to trust Iife, feel separate yet also connected, open, strong, whole & other qualities. This state of presence, experiencing things as they happen, can be described as being in touch with our free will. Some experience this release as being in touch with their spiritual side - in touch with their deepest sense of SeIf. As we let go our resilience & personal boundaries can support us.

Counselling London Psychotherapy – Free Will - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Our Free Will

Our life is not merely determined by our history. It is also self-determined through our free will, and it is this sense of seIf (with the ability to seIf observe and act in the world) inherent in us all, that I value & work with in therapy. (See also Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go)

Counselling London Psychotherapy – Personal Freedom - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Personal Freedom

For some the process of therapy is successful when we are freer to choose, living our lives less automatically, accessing our own strengths & skills, clarity of thought, autonomy, free will and inner wisdom, living a more fulfilling Iife in healthy relationships with others. (See also Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go)

Counselling Central London Psychotherapy – Conscious, Unconscious - Counsellor Camden Psychotherapist
Role Of The Unconscious - "The Yet To Be Revealed"

Introduction Throughout Iife we shift states between being connected with ourself - conscious, and then not connected - unconscious. Counselling & psychotherapy can help us to connect up our disconnections. Some people experience this like flipping a switch - from feeIing cut off to being connected, others experience a more gradual process of being less on "auto-pilot". It is as if we are aware of ourseIf - who we are, what we are doing & experiencing in some moments, yet other times not. We tend to be more conscious of ourself when we make time to reflect and in times of change, when we are having a crisis, at a turning point, or when we need to make important choices. When we, or a loved one, are seriously ill, or someone has died, it is often experienced as a wake-up call - we can become aware of our own existence, separateness, preciousness of Iife & consciousness. Also, when we are left behind, singled out or feeI in a minority, this too can trigger our sense of consciousness.

… more about consciousness & unconsciousness