UK Council for Psychotherapy

UKCP

Accredited Psychotherapist

British Association for
Counselling & Psychotherapy

BACP

Accredited Counsellor

Counselling & Psychotherapy
Central London, Camden, Kings Cross, London NW1
Glen Gibson - Dip. Counselling, MA Psychotherapy, Dip. Psychotherapy
UKCP & mBACP Accredited male Therapist, Counsellor & Psychotherapist

therapy@counselling-london.org.uk 020 7916 1342

Why People Seek Counselling or Psychotherapy

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Why People Seek Counselling & Psychotherapy

Why people come to counselling in London, Camden, London NW1, Kings Cross - how to find a counsellor

We may seek counselling to take time, gather our thoughts, find out what's going on, piece some things together, make sense of things, needing some sort of external reality check and the therapy can be a space to explore how we think, clarify strengthen our thoughts, beliefs. We may be in a challenging period of our life, going through a difficult time, crisis, have a current problem, preoccupation or come across some stumbling blocks, which don't seem to go away or continue to consume us. We may have tried everything and nothing works. We may no longer want to push away things that we don't want to think about and have had enough. We may experience a suffering inside, which needs to be talked about, shared. We may want to reconcile things, make some decisions. We may be in the grip of powerful feelings or thoughts, unsettled or uncomfortable. Things may go round in a loop, have come to a head or something may not be working and we may want to understand ourselves more. Muddling through or running away from things may no longer be enough. We may have let some things slide. We may have tried things, want to move on, yet end up back in a similar place. Torn by a dilemma, we may have a familiar problem that is beginning to hold us back or weigh us down, which can't be unburdened, patched up or where "getting on with it" no longer works. Functioning well on the surface, we may fit in, yet not feel part of things or fully involved, be unhappy, disconnected, alienated or lonely inside, discontented or unfulfilled. Troubled, things may have been gnawing away at us for long enough, and can no longer be brushed under the carpet. Going through the motions, something might be missing or stirring and we may struggle to put our finger on what it is. Misplaced loyalties may play a part. Inside it may be as if we are living half a life, longing or yearning for something. We may be seeking guidance, different perspectives or structures - ones which work for us in life, alongside a stronger sense of inner safety.

What May Be Happening Inside We may feel like an outsider, blocked, stuck, confused or lost, treading water, wanting our own anchor or life compass, to get us back on track, in the way we want. At times it may feel like we are broken, as if in pieces, need mending. Balance, stability, being in our own ground maybe important. Spending much time in our head, struggling to switch off, or consistently worrying, it can be as if certain things are embedded in us and we want to entangle them - others may report that their "inner demons" are dominant. We may be seeking peace of mind, calmness, or to be more at ease, content, in touch with who we are. We may be successful on the outside, yet things may be difficult inside. We may feel bored, empty or trapped inside, as if being on "auto-pilot", which may be linked to our blind spots. We may feel frustrated or under pressure about something important. Sometimes things can become too much for us. We may no longer want to ignore a difficulty or struggle with an unavoidable phase of our life or relationship. We may seek courage to try new things and ways to overcome our fears, or loosen any layers of protection. Some of us may struggle with putting the handbrakes on, whereas others may want to loosen them. We can sometimes be enclosed in our own bubble world or hide behind our wall - a wall of protection, which may have been set up when younger to protect us from our wounds. Also, we may have a whole backstory to tell.

Unease We may want to be more in tune or trusting of who we are - our authentic feelings, experiencing a conflict between our heart and head. Feeling feelings or overwhelmed by thoughts, we may want to express, manage our thoughts, feelings differently. We may also want to be aware of our triggers and change how we behave, or be less driven by obligation. Uneasy, things may not be falling into place. A part of our life may be messy and we may be seeking a sense of order. We may want to be more prepared or equipped to respond to the rollercoaster of life's ups and downs, feel relaxed, stable, secure or want to let go of certain things. We may want to be settled, or to move on. We may want to understand how we might contribute to any difficulties - the obstacles we put in the way, and seek counselling help in overcoming them. We may want to take stock or do some soul searching, or have questions like "Why am I like I am?", "Why do I do what I do?" "What do I personally create?" We may be seeking counselling for coping mechanisms (e.g. to reduce or tolerate any anxiety, tension or inner pain), resilience, resources, different tools, frameworks or healthy ways to relieve pressures. We may fear exposing our "real" nature out in the world, yet at the same time want to, and the counselling can work at our own pace with this. We may also want to revisit things from your past that we thought we had dealt with. We may be carrying unexpressed pain or grief for something or someone (see Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go). Sometimes our unease may also include unease of an existential nature.

Why people come to psychotherapy and counselling - central London, Camden, London NW1 - how do I find a therapist, find a therapist, looking for therapist, find a psychotherapist, find psychotherapist, how to find a psychotherapist, find a counsellor, find therapy, how to find a counsellor, therapist finder, find counselling

Being Heard In normal social situations it is unacceptable to express all our feelings, unravel things and tell everyone everything. Even with people we trust, our closest friends or family, limits are usually set in what we say, and they may find it hard to give objective advice. What people are prepared to hear may also limit our expression. We may restrain what we disclose or fear the response. We may value the anonymity, professional feedback and help of a counsellor or psychotherapist as someone independent to turn to, not directly connected, who isn't too close and can hear you without a vested interest, preconceptions, who doesn't say things to simply please you. Therapy offers us the opportunity to get things off our chest so we can be heard and listened to and know we are not alone, for someone to bear witness to us. It can be a place to speak the unspoken and express our thoughts, however they may sound.

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Supportive Resource Some of us can be too proud or ashamed to ask for professional help, fearing that if we do, something is "wrong" with us. Yet receiving a different response to what is our usual experience can also be significant. Many people view counselling and psychotherapy as a regular supportive resource, with someone they can turn to, just as acceptable as maintaining our diet and physical health.

Change Some of us may find it too painful to talk to anyone else about our fears, pain or suffering, which can sometimes be almost unbearable. We may feeI unable to solve our struggles and need help overcoming them. We can't do everything on our own and it can dawn on us that waiting for personal change can go on forever, even in our relationship.

Confusion You may simply be seeking counselling or psychotherapy to unravel things or to be less confused, wanting to make certain connections or be more in touch with yourself.

Making Sense Some may experience our life being like a jigsaw, and we may want to make sense of what the whole picture might look like, including any redundant, new or missing pieces.

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New Chapter Tired of fighting against the tide, we may now want to reconcile something. In a time of personal transition, transformation, some people come to therapy wanting to begin a new chapter in our life. We may have put things that eat away at us, at the back of our mind - "on the back burner", recognising that now is the time to do something about this.

Specific Issues Some people may want to address very specific issues, seeking tools in how to respond to setbacks, challenges, yet often there also may be underlying considerations, a backstory.

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Why people seek psychotherapy or counselling in London, Camden, Kings Cross, NW1 - how do I find a therapist, looking for therapist, find a psychotherapist, find a counsellor, find therapy

Non-Specific Issues We all have fragile bits of our psyche. We may be troubled by aspects of our life, relationships. Some people may want to handle general problems, maybe managing a current phase in life, wanting to balance things out, wanting to overcome or manage uncomfortable feeIings, examine why we are driven by certain things, or to change certain Self-beliefs & Believing In Ourself. Other people may have vague, non-specific or indefinable issues, underlying symptoms, which may emerge over time. We may have a sense of something inside floating around, and want to look at this. We may for example struggle in taking risks or simply need to evaluate or change something important (see also Changes & Transitions). We may have fallen into a job, relationship or lifestyle, which we are now questioning. We can be confident, fulfilled, creative or in control in some areas (e.g. work) yet not in others (e.g. relationships). Aspects of our life may no longer fit, or sit well with us. We can discover that we are at a place in our life, that we don't want to be. Lost or stuck, we may want to be freer, less trapped, and avoid storing up deeper problems in the future. We may be embarrassed or ashamed about aspects of our character. We may have been existing as if in cocoon. We may experience emptiness inside or have a sense of longing or need to belong, which we can't quite define. We may turn to unhelpful habits or addictive behaviour. Some of us may also want to reconcile our lives, accepting who we are and where we are at. Non-specific issues may also include:

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Changing Our Patterns We may be seeking different ways of managing or changing our life patterns, cycles:

  • We experience an event - the stimulus (e.g.: an unavoidable conflict, making a difficult decision, work pressure, loss of independence or control, etc...)
  • We will have thoughts & beliefs about this
  • This may trigger confusion or feeIings like stress, fear, anxiety, frustration, anger, depression, etc.
  • Our response may be to block out some uncomfortable, unwanted feelings by selfdamaging or sabotaging, procrastinating, running away from problems, doing things in excess (e.g.: drinking, working, overusing the computer), withdrawing, punishing others, moodiness, etc... or simply getting stuck. The counselling & psychotherapy may address other possible responses, what supports us, and what might be counterproductive

Coming To Terms With A Part Of Ourself We've all had the experience of catching ourseIf by surprise "That's not me, or supposed to be me" we might say, when we aren't aware of what we are doing. Our actions, words, thoughts and emotions - ones "we weren't supposed to have" - can seem to arise from nowhere, yet they are in us. (An example could be when we are driving in our car, we take on a totally different persona, than the one not behind the wheel, our character changes.) Sometimes it can be hard to reconcile aspects of us which don't fit our image. Some of us can have a tendency to "cut off" a part of our lives, repressing or denying aspects of our character we find hard to accept (see also Self-Identity & Personality). As we integrate these parts of us, we may have more of a sense of equilibrium. (See also Life's Journey - Connecting To Our Own Inner Direction & Creating Our Own Destiny)

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Our Home Truths We have all at times tried to convince ourself of something (especially from our wounded self), that we know deep down is not true in order to avoid some uncomfortable home truths (see also Our View Of Reality). And truth is frequently subjective. Going beyond our programmed mind towards the experience of (and guidance from) our higher sense of self, may help us be more aligned to our home truths. There can be a difference between knowing things and our truth. Being willing to learn and hear truth may challenge us. Listening to our senses, distinguishing the differences between our intuition, gut feelings, hunches and instinct may support us. Our personal power lies in our truths, which may also take our willingness to go through our pain, face our fears. We can be so used to playing roles in the world, we neglect our sense of who we really are, our conscience and personal integrity, connecting to our own wisdom, innateness, vulnerability, allow for uncertainty. As we evolve, trusting our own innateness, our conscience and personal integrity, our partner and being truthful in our relationship may also be important to us, as may listening to our inner voice, speaking our truth (see also Difficulties Being In Touch With & Asking For What We Need, How To Know, Name & Respect Our Needs - Speaking Up For Ourselves & Letting Others, Our Partner Know What Works Best For Us) without judgement. Counselling and psychotherapy offers an opportunity to connect more to our real and authentic self, as we discover and accept all of who we are, acknowledging our own feelings including our core, existential, life feelings. Standing in our own truth, becoming a safe receptacle for truth, willing to hear truth so we don't have to avoid rejection, may support us. Exploring life's journey, connecting to our own inner direction may be important for some. We may also have existential concerns or sense a spiritual connection to truth, which can be explored in the therapy.

Truth is within ourselves. Robert Browning

Both Suffering & Love Underneath our concerns can be a need to find ways to respond to and manage not only our but the world's inevitable sufferings, to love and be loved, exploring what it means to be human. (For details see Suffering & Love)

Counselling Questions - How Do I Find A Therapist How to find a counsellor, find a psychotherapist - the right one for us - may be a concern. Not only finding a therapist but also finding a psychotherapist we feel comfortable with may be important (see also Integrative Counselling Approach, Philosophy & Therapy Style Of Practice). We may have certain questions, e.g.:

  • How do I find a therapist who is suitable for me?
  • How to find a psychotherapist in my area?
  • How to find a counsellor who I feel comfortable with?

... back to Home Counselling in London or Psychotherapy in London

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