Counselling & Psychotherapy

Introduction Counselling & psychotherapy benefits people, who in an open & honest way, want a deeper understanding of themselves, who are seeking a better place in their lives.

Your Wellbeing Counselling can help improve your wellbeing - how you look after yourself and others. The experience of therapy can enable us to be more accepting of o u r s e l v e s, others, and the constraints & limitations of living.

Being Heard & Understood For some people, knowing that they will be seeing a counsellor or psychotherapist on a regular basis can help relieve the sense of being on their own with their dilemmas or difficulties. Sometimes simply talking to someone and being heard, understood or noticed can lift a weight off our shoulders and we may f e e l more open, so we can manage things more easily.

Impartial Support We are full of contradictions - our body, f e e l i n g s, moods, thoughts or beliefs frequently change. In a complex and ever-changing world none of us have all the answers to all our struggles. We are complex beings, yet have simple needs. The world can be confusing, full of dilemmas, ambiguity, double-binds, paradox & risks (see also The Challenges Of Change). It can be a challenge to tolerate frustration, difference, accept uncertainty and allow for the unknown & mystery in l i f e. We can't do everything on our own and at times can benefit from the impartial support of a counsellor or psychotherapist.

Managing L i f e's Transitions Psychotherapy & counselling can assist people in managing their transitions. Therapy can also offer a space to explore l i f e's intangibles & existential concerns.

A Place To Talk About Difficult Things Psychotherapy & counselling can help a person talk about thoughts that they may not have been able to acknowledge or express before, or address important matters they have put off.

Feeling & Thinking Differently Some people benefit from counselling, simply because it can be a space to f e e l their f e e l i n g s, be in touch with their emotions or think differently about themselves in the world. The counselling & psychotherapy can help us filter & manage our f e e l i n g s & thoughts, so we are more able to take charge of them.

Expressing or Containing Feelings The counselling can help enable people to manage difficult or unwanted f e e l i n g s, without numbing them (eg. through alcohol, overworking, overusing internet), avoiding them or acting them out. We may look at how freely you express or contain your f e e l i n g s and how you can free any obstacles. This can bring a sense of relief.

Freeing o u r s e l v e s The counselling & psychotherapy is also about freeing o u r s e l v e s, moving away from what we don't want, towards what we do want. We will look at how you also create your own situations by exploring with you the wisdom of your core beliefs, thinking patterns, assumptions & conclusions you draw, as well as the "domino effect" of such beliefs. It may be difficult to let go of what we hold on to, precious beliefs which no longer work. The therapy process may involve gaining a deeper understanding of who you are, so your impulses, responses and reactions are more in your control, without repressing or being overwhelmed by them. The therapy may consider any obstacles along the way, e.g.:

• We have our own "sore spots" - our hurt, pain or wounds). We also have "blind spots" - a tendency for not seeing things we don't want to see or things we are not able to fully understand.
• Tradition & social norms protect us from acting on impulse, yet may affect our own conscious thinking about "why we do the things we do".
• How we interpret our conscious & unconscious beliefs, where we may mistake our personal view as the reality. In psychotherapy we may look at or gently challenge any restricting beliefs, which may limit your choices. (See also Releasing O u r s e l v e s & Letting Go)
• How we take responsibility for our own f e e l i n g s

Impact Of Our History Some problems may have started off small and have begun to snowball. A further aim of psychotherapy is to reflect upon the effect of "water that has flowed under your bridge" so far, and explore what this might mean for you now. Acknowledging that each of us is more than the influence of our history, we'll look at what works in your l i f e, what doesn't and why some problems may continue. Psychotherapy provides the opportunity to revisit and address things, which we weren't emotionally mature enough to do as a child. We can't turn the clock back, but we can unpick the meanings & assumptions we have made so far, and discover whether they are still valid. (For details see Impact Of Our Past)

Releasing Old Patterns Psychotherapy can explore what blocks you, the obstacles in your l i f e, those you are conscious of and others you are not. We may look at what keeps you stuck or suffering, what you keep doing to yourself - your maintaining cycles. We may explore the dynamics of your own personality - your old patterns, habits or traits, how you re-create familiar situations. We may examine what's in your control, what's reactive, what's choice, e.g. "I felt this, and therefore I had to do that". With new insight you may understand who you are differently, and new meanings may emerge. (See also Impact Of Our Past & Releasing O u r s e l v e s & Letting Go)

Identifying & Increasing Inner Strengths & Resources Psychotherapy is not only about pain, misery and the upsetting things. Therapy can also help us to grow & develop. My aim is to help identify your strengths - your own resources & predispositions, and explore way how they can be increased, used creatively & effectively. These along with our personal boundaries can support us in difficult times.

Connected To Our Core Self A further challenge may to be more authentic, living l i f e from our Core Self - calm & centred, less from our s e l f-image or being distracted by external influences. The therapy may assist you in developing & building this deeper sense of yourself - your own centre, aware & able to reflect, with the ability to make choices and act with intention. (See also Living To Our Full Potential)

Our Intention As we connect to our own inner choice, the one that really matters, we can access our will, which can be released, and we can directly experience this volition. Some of us may struggle in distinguishing the difference between our intention & desire - and the act of willing, doing it & making it happen.

Accessing Motivation, Acting On Our Will Some people may want to move away from their passivity, no longer wanting to f e e l unmotivated, unfocused or simply going along with things for the sake of it. We may f e e l confident and able to act in certain aspects, yet not in other areas. Feeling inertia & lacking momentum, sometimes it is as if our will seems stuck, and the counselling can help explore ways of freeing the will, so we mobilise our resources and are able to act from our core s e l f, without being in reaction. Motivation can be seen as our fuel, which powers our actions, and it is the result of our actions, which create our l i f e experience. Connecting to the source of "our want" (the will), can be a desire for some, so you put your intention into action, doing what it takes to make things happen. Our personal boundaries can also assist in this. The psychotherapy will explore what matters to you, your l i f e focus, alongside your f e e l i n g s, the way you perceive reality as well as your aims, hopes, dreams, imagination, aspirations & values. For some their source of motivation may seem locked away (unconscious), and for others - be present, yet not fully utilised or engaged as they struggle to set their mind to a task, or be in touch with their burning desires.

Some of us may have difficulty deciding, sustaining or completing things. Others can start off enthusiastically, yet it doesn't last. A benefit of psychotherapy can be becoming more aware of the source of your motivation, what determines your decisions, actions & reactions, how you deliberate & make up your mind to act, remain focused & carry out your intention. We will therefore explore how you access & enhance your motivation & how you put your volition - will (what drives you) into action (see also Our Will - Mobilising Our Resources To Act). You may also want to explore the will beyond the personal - what some people describe as expanding to the collective, universal or spiritual will, linked to l i f e's purpose. (For details see Living To Our Full Potential)

Freedom is different from revolt.
A mind that is free from fear is capable of knowing great love and where there is love the Will can do what it will. Krishnamurti

New Perspectives Some difficulties may never be overcome - you can't get rid of all difficulties, yet our attitude & relationship to them can change. As our f e e l i n g s or outlooks change, we make different meanings, our problems seem to diminish, or may be approached & managed differently. We can also transform the way we see o u r s e l v e s & the world, as new perspectives emerge.

Integrating All Aspects Of o u r s e l v e s The therapy can help you integrate all aspects of your personality, including those which are an intrinsic part of you.