UK Council for Psychotherapy

UKCP

Accredited Psychotherapist

British Association for
Counselling & Psychotherapy

BACP

Accredited Counsellor London

Counselling & Psychotherapy
Central London, Camden, Kings Cross, London NW1
Glen Gibson - Dip. Counselling, MA Psychotherapy, Dip. Psychotherapy
UKCP & mBACP Accredited Male Therapist, Counsellor & Psychotherapist

therapy@counselling-london.org.uk 020 7916 1342

Dyslexia Counselling - How We Best Learn

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Neuro-divergence
Many of us have natural human variations that aren't necessary a pathology or disorder, with some degree of
neuro-divergent, non-neurotypical ways of living our life outside of accepted ideas of conforming to normality
within the range of positive and negative traits.

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Neuro-Diversity, Diagnosis

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Neuro-Diverse Conditions Without ruling out environmental factors, a lens to view certain conditions is through what's happening in the brain. For some of us, since birth our brains are wired differently. The following neuro-diverse conditions, neuro-original ways of being, ranging from mild to drastic can occur singularly or in various combinations: dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, ADHD/ADD, Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) including Asperger's Syndrome, where our logical, rational side may dominate (which for some may also be linked to alexithymia - struggling with our own emotional awareness or emotions in others or what has been termed Pathological Demand Avoidance - PDA). These "labels", "conditions" (alongside Autism, Asperger's syndrome) may carry interchangeable, coexisting responses, "symptoms".

These neurological developmental differences impact on how we connect with our thinking brain, how we learn and process information, affecting our senses, body, feelings, mind, ways of being in the world. Thee neuro-diverse differences (for some) may include how we socially interact and process change. Characteristics of neuro - diversity can include originality, visual thinking, creativity, original ideas, thinking, exceptional abilities, determination, strategic thinking, focus and empathy contribute to our neuro original way of being in the world.

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Assessment, Diagnosis for Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia, ADHD/ADD, Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Including Aspergers Syndrome Whether to get a diagnosis for Neuro-Diverse “Conditions” may need to be thought through, discussed. (For some women or men who have learnt social skills, these "conditions" may sometimes be hard to spot in our interactions if we have compensated by socially masking our neuro-diversity.) Diagnoses for some can bring relief, hope, help us understand without blame what we have been experiencing – that although certain things may be challenging for us, our symptoms are not the result of personal weakness or character flaw, that there is nothing wrong with us, we can achieve success through exploring, utilising our strengths, that it's OK to be different. Diagnosis with a "label", "condition" for others can be overwhelming, may further stigmatise us. After the assessment, we may be given very practical advice, suggested skills training, technology options, but actually need counselling for the effects for our diagnosis and the emotional impact.

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Dyslexia Counselling - Specific Dyslexia Experiences

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Dyslexia Help - How We Experience Dyslexia & Behavioural Effects We may have a short attention span. We may find it hard to link things, to build a picture, make sense of things. Struggling to absorb, process, recall or retrieve certain information, we may have problems connecting things up with anything that has a sequence, remembering what we need to remember - especially instructions (we may have a memory like a sieve), organising things, contributing to discussions, communicating our ideas, feelings. So called straight-forward tasks may baffle us. When there is no familiarity, order or patterns, things may appear disorganised. We may find it difficult to trust, accept and manage change, step outside our comfort zone, because it may threaten our sense of safety (especially if we base it externally). In reaction, we may have become rigid or inflexible, habitually trying to find the easiest path, tending to stick to familiar safe routines. We may struggle with the unexpected, switching tasks or find it difficult to consider other ways of doing things, others' points of view. In order to compensate for our dyslexia, we may (often unconsciously) have found mechanisms for skirting around, avoiding things, work doubly hard or continuously check up on things, which can be anxiety provoking and tiring through our compensatory efforts. Our mind may often go blank (and we may have a tendency to daydream). We may have specific dyslexia problems with literacy (e.g. words my appear jumbled, we may lose our place, we may hear sounds to words that don't relate to the spelling). Numbers may be confusing. Managing our time, completing things & procrastination may be associated concerns. Taking control of these areas may be important for us.

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Dyslexia Counselling - What May Be Happening Inside Our Head, Body Dyslexia can be experienced in different forms, affecting our sense of self, thoughts and beliefs about ourself and the world. With dyslexia (and dyspraxia), things can seem disordered, not make sense at times (as if the pathways in our brain are different), which may affect us finding the right words at times. And the way we think, learn, our train of thoughts, may be different. With certain tasks, that others seem to find simple or routine, we may become easily overwhelmed, confused and therefore disorganised (compounded by our overwhelming thinking). We may struggle to concentrate. In our dyslexic world, we may feel lost or stuck inside, frustrated and tense, maybe living only half a life. This may affect our demeanour and how we anchor ourself, connect to our centre, be in our body. Experiences in the past can continue to be held in the memory and body as trauma, unless addressed, released, responded to differently now. (See also Physical Feelings, Somatic Reactions, Other Reactions)

Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything. George Lois
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Dyslexia Counselling - How We Best Learn Symptoms of dyslexia in adults vary from person to person, as indicated by a dyslexia assessment and how we best respond to our dyslexia is very individual. If we are dyslexic, traditional teaching & learning methods may not always help us. The dyslexia counselling explores getting to know our individual learning style and how we pay attention to the connections we make, mentalise. Some of us may favour an auditory way of learning, others a visual or kinaesthetic (active learning, doing, touching, practising things & moving our body). By now we may be seeking dyslexia help, dyslexia support or emotional support for dyslexia.

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Taking Charge Of Our Dyslexia We may no longer want to be passive by allowing the environment to control us. Understanding, making sense & meaning of things, having some sense of order can bring about emotional relief. We may want to come to terms with adult dyslexia (and any frustrations, anger we feel), to learn dyslexia coping strategies, proactively take care of our own needs. Dyslexia therapy is different to dyslexia treatment. The dyslexia therapy offers psychological and emotional support for dyslexia, exploring ways of not only managing dyslexia, our stress, fears, anxiety, panics, any disorganisation, but also exploring other possible ways and strategies of not just coping with dyslexia but thriving, so we don't necessarily have to swim against the tide which tends to drain our energy. Dyslexia counselling & dyslexia therapy can offer individually tailored dyslexia support, so we can harness our resources, unique key strengths, the way we think. The dyslexia counselling may therefore creatively look at what compensatory strategies, structures we can put in place that specifically work for us, what helps, what doesn't, what we may need to let go of, change, how we can override self-doubt, move out of our comfort zone, take risks. Our resilience, boundaries (see also Emotional Resilience, Strength & Being Powerful) can also support us in adapting to & proactively managing our dyslexia in ways we can be present, in the moment.

It is more common than you can imagine. You are not alone. And while you will have this the rest of your life,
you can dart between the raindrops to get where you want to go and it will not hold you back.
Steven Spielberg

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Dyspraxia Counselling - Specific Dyspraxia Experiences

Experience Of Dyspraxia Now Those of us with dyspraxia may have lifelong experiences of struggling with "fitting in" conventionally – have difficulties with tasks the majority of people take for granted. We may have a combination of challenges – not all of them applying to us.

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Eye Movements We may have a tendency to lose the place where we are reading. We may struggle with tracking movements without moving our head excessively. Switching our vision from one object to another may not run smoothly.

Speech & Language We may struggle to pronounce certain words, organise the content and sequence of what we want to say, we may repeat ourself and the rate and volume of how we speak may differ.

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Large Movements (Gross Motor Co-Ordination Skills) We may feel floppy, clumsy (including falling, tripping, bumping into people, things, have exaggerated arm movements). Balance, posture, clumsiness integrating the two sides of our body may affect us in sports, jumping, cycling, driving. Lack of rhythm may affect how we dance, exercise. Team sports including catching and hitting balls may be uncoordinated.






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Small Movements (Fine Motor Co-Ordination Skills) We may have difficulties with handwriting, typing, drawing, grasping tools, domestic implements. Dressing and grooming ourself may not come easy to us including doing our hair, putting on makeup, fastening clothes, tying shoe laces, shaving. Two handed tasks may be confusing for us e.g. cutlery, cleaning, cooking, playing musical instruments as may using tools, domestic implements, keys and locks.

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Learning, Memory, Thoughts We may be unfocused, erratic, messy, cluttered, struggle with certain instructions (especially more than one). We may have difficulty concentrating, be easily distracted or struggle to complete one thing at a time properly. We may also struggle with copying movements, sounds or writing, so maths, reading, drafting reports accurately may not come easy to us. We may have difficulty in planning, organising our thoughts, especially have a poor short term memory as we forget and lose things. Daydreaming or wondering about aimlessly, we may be slow finishing tasks, procrastinate.

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Dyslexia & Dyspraxia - Overlapping Experiences Of Being Dyslexic & Dyspraxic

Dyslexia & Dyspraxia - Counselling For Our Specific Range Of Challenges It isn't always simple to distinguish the differences between what is dyslexia and what is dyspraxia and many symptoms are frequently experienced together. There is an innate part of us not subject to "cure" where understanding our neuro-diversity, utilising our unique pattern of challenges, strengths and gifts may be important to us. We may want to receive support in accommodating our differences – exploring creative practical strategies which work for us without fitting in to an imagined "society ideal". Understanding the nature of our difficulties, alongside our signature strengths, can bring a sense of relief and it may also be important to address the emotional and social aspects of our life, which the dyslexia counselling, dyspraxia counselling can explore.

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Childhood And Ongoing Experience of Dyslexia, Dyspraxia The world may have been fun, safe, predictable until events related to our dyslexia, dyspraxia affected us (and we may have since struggled to grow up). We may have experienced a sense of difference, restlessness, incoherence, exclusion, isolation, confusion, bewilderment in earlier life when we weren't doing things, learning things the way everyone else could. Experiences, memories of past struggles, traumas, wounds may still affect us now. Some may have been given labels, such as lazy, stupid, awkward, strange (affecting our anxiety, confidence and esteem, loneliness or depression). There may have been a focus on weakness rather than our strengths. We may have been excluded from our peer group, felt humiliated, shamed, taking criticism to heart and can still be affected now. Some may have experienced bullying for something obscure. As if other people seem to get things, we may become tongue-tied, inhibit our passion, assertiveness, become self-critical. Back then and now, we may daydream, have a fear of being, going mad or live from a "don't feel" place. We may be sharp and bright in some areas, yet slow and inefficient in others. We may have tried to work doubly hard where "getting" certain things the way others do may have be confusing, exhausting. We may have wondered over the years why others didn't do anything, pick our dyslexia, dyspraxia up (See also Assessment, Diagnosis for Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia, ADHD/ADD, Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Including Aspergers Syndrome) We may have been let down by people who failed to recognise our difficulties or be sympathetic to them, affecting our professional, personal life, relationships now. The counselling for dyslexia, dyspraxia may therefore work with any unresolved traumas so we can thrive better now.

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Counselling for Dyslexia, Dyspraxia Counselling – Good Days, Bad Days We may feel engaged, then disengaged, out of kilter at times. Back then and now, we may have good days (and bad days where we come into our own with our unique skills, talents, personal qualities, which shine through as if we are in the zone) difficulties and struggles can be experienced as irresolvable (compounded if we unfavourably compare ourself with others). We may dread certain tasks – whether at work, home, even leisure activities, being playful. Distressed, we may have a tendency to either withdraw or be aggressive. The counselling for dyslexia, dyspraxia can not only be a space to talk about how in the past we were affected by our dyslexia, dyspraxia but also how we can now take charge of our dyslexia, dyspraxia now.

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Counselling For Dyslexia, Counselling For Dyspraxia – Emotions, Reactions We May Be Experiencing Our emotions can be affected in different ways. We may feel different to others, inadequate, maybe embarrassed, ashamed (especially if felt put on the spot, where we may struggle to effectively communicate - whether being at work, with public speaking, at interviews or in intimate relationships, conflict situations). Because of our confusion, we may feel frustrated (maybe turning to anger, and when turned inwards this may manifest as depression). So called simple tasks can bring up feelings of insecurity, anxiety, fears. These fears may turn into panic attacks. We may therefore worry about performing challenging tasks, avoid change, anticipate future failure. We may appear successful, yet inside experience life unusually, not quite get some things, and feel distressed, unsafe if we can't do things or relate the way others usually do. Entering into new situations can render us anxious, socially nervous so we may often avoid change, struggle to adapt to new, unpredictable situations. Especially when taking in lots of information, we may experience physical symptoms, e.g. migraine, nausea (see also Physical Feelings, Somatic Reactions, Other Reactions), struggle to listen, not understand instructions or take things too literally. Compounded by our triggers or hooks, we may become quickly stressed, struggle to relax. We may feel more pressurised, especially if we believe we have to always prove ourself. Lacking confidence, our esteem may plummet. We may believe we are not good enough affecting our intrinsic self worth. We may feel inhibited, depressed at times, unmotivated. Maybe feeling a bit of a loner, outsider, isolated, we may struggle to know who we really are. We may:

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Dyslexia Counselling, Dyspraxia Counselling - Emotional Sensitivity, Sensory Overload Some of us may be more emotionally sensitive, intuitive than others and this can help guide us to be in tune with our own and other people's emotions and have meaningful relationships. Yet our very sensitivity and senses may overload us at times (e.g. visual images and the connections we make in our head, sounds, sensitivity to background noise, more than one person speaking at a time, reading and listening at the same time, writing and listening simultaneously, sensitivity to certain fabrics, foods, smells). We may be sensitive to temperature, lights, noise, smells, touch with an aversion to very tight or loose clothing. We may have little sense of time, speed, distance, weight. Our sense of direction and map reading skills may not come easy to us. Awareness of our physical position and spatial relationship with others may not be finely tuned. Some of us may struggle with cooking, driving.

Dyslexia Counselling, Dyspraxia Counselling - Other People's Responses & How We Respond To Others Managing other people's responses to our dyslexia can be challenging. There can still be a stigma attached to dyslexia, dyspraxia and we may have learnt to cover it up, hide it (even to ourselves), sometimes without even knowing this (as if not wanting to be "found out"). We may fear failure, judgement, criticism - although we may be doing this to ourself, if our "secret" is "revealed". Others can easily misunderstand, misinterpret us, be baffled and may see us as difficult, work shy, lazy, inefficient, a fraud, socially offensive without an obvious explanation. We may struggle with others' points of view, want to communicate our ideas, contribute to discussions, ask for what we need. Especially in large groups, we may have problems being part of a team. (This may be compounded if we have difficulty recognising our own and others' non-verbal signals.)

Dyslexia Counselling, Dyspraxia Counselling - Sense Of Isolation Some of us may feel a bit of a loner, outsider, misunderstood as if no one gets us. We may have a sense of isolation, worry about our social status – struggling to effectively express our feelings and thoughts or form meaningful relationships for a variety of reasons. These may include taking in information and making sense of it, feeling different from others, fearing rejection, struggling to process our thinking, translate what is happening around us. Being seen as a loner, outsider, we may feel uncomfortable, isolated or end up isolating ourselves, affecting our self-image. We may struggle to engage in activities or when with others, have a degree of social nervousness. (See also Being Isolated, Separate)

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What Counselling For Dyslexia, Counselling For Dyspraxia Offers

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The counselling for dyslexia, counselling for dyspraxia explores our responses to any areas of our life that are out of balance, alongside our emotions (any shame we may carry), beliefs, behaviours, and ways we may want to adjust with new structures that work for us in how we think, feel behave, link things up, which make sense to us. The dyslexia counselling also explores how we can move away from dependence, utilising ways to have more control over our environment, towards independence – focusing on our strengths - what we can do, improving our opportunities, the relationship with ourself and others, exploring what specifically works for us, by:

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Counselling For ADHD, Counselling For ADD - Familiar Experiences

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ADHD/ADD In Childhood When younger we may or may not have been taught communication skills, how to reduce, delay distractions - writing down our distractions rather than acting upon them, using a timer to help us remain on task, dividing our tasks into chunks for the appropriate length of time that we know holds our attention. Planning,organising or problem solving skills, breaking larger tasks into smaller ones and easier manageable steps, using and maintaining a diary/calendar system, notebooks with tasks lists and action plans for overwhelming work may not have been taught. Confidence building, impulse control and emotional resilience may have been missing, affecting our esteem, self-worth, limiting beliefs. We may not have been taught how to overcome self-criticism, frustration, anger, how to release stress, being assertive without be aggressive. We may also have needed help around procrastination, feeling low.

ADD or ADHD counselling acknowledges our range of strengths, explores what areas of our life are out of balance how we can filter, manage our senses, energy.

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Experience of ADHD/ADD Now Quick to reaction, things inside of us may be experienced (by us and others) as excitable, out of control at times affecting the environment around us, our home, life, work, social interactions, relationships (see also In A High Maintenance Relationship). Attention Deficit Disorder may also affect our career, financial situation. We may experience more higher highs, lower lows than most, have sleep problems. Some people may perceive us as irresponsible, with loose, porous boundaries, insensitive, lazy, stupid (and we may believe these terms ourself). We may have spent much of our life feeling alienated, unaccepted, rejected, misunderstood. Like a over-revved car, as if our brain is busily whirring away at a fast pace, self-sabotage may follow. We may find it hard to give our attention to anything over a long period of time, affecting our self esteem. Some of us may turn to things like gaming, which for a while at least can give us a structure, but can become addictive. Symptoms of ADHD/ADD may include:

Range Of Strengths, Positive Aspects Of ADHD These may include:

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Taking Charge Of Our Life Consciously taking the reigns of our life may be important to us. Being in touch with our own essence, creating space, quiet time, stillness and reflection may support us (see also Willpower - Finding, Having & Following Our "No" Or "Yes"). The counselling for ADHD/ADD can explore with us creative ways we can take charge in our life, when we need to.

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Counselling For ADHD, Counselling For ADD The counselling for ADHD recognises that each person's response to ADD/ADHD is different and help us focus on our strengths. Alongside looking at ways to respond to any anxiety, adrenaline rushes, some of us may also want to feel more confident, boost our esteem, overcome any shame, change any unhelpful self-beliefs. Others may want to explore how to organise ourself mentally, practically, emotionally and the therapy for ADHD may support us in this, alongside our capacity to think, fully listen, reflect, utilise our boundaries, express, yet contain the fire of our passion when we need to, so it doesn't spill out in unhelpful ways. Regulating and managing our feelings may also be important for us.

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Questions About Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, ADHD

Questions About Dyslexia Counselling We may have certain questions about counselling for dyslexia:

  • What is dyslexia counselling?
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Questions About Dyspraxia Counselling We may have certain questions about counselling for dyspraxia:

  • What is dyspraxia counselling?
  • How to overcome dyspraxia problems?
  • I have dyspraxia with numbers, a math dyspraxia, numerical dyspraxia, verbal dyspraxia - what can I do?
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Questions About ADHD Counselling We may have certain questions about counselling for ADHD:

  • What is ADHD counselling?
  • How to overcome ADHD problems?
  • I have ADHD with numbers, a math ADHD, numerical ADHD, verbal ADHD - what can I do?
  • How to cope with ADHD?
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