Feeling Lost Or Stuck In Life, In Limbo - Counselling London
Feeling Lost In Life Unsettled, immobilised or impotent in some ways, we may have lost our way in life, like we are a lost self, finding it hard to bring our self back. We may be holding onto things which now hold us back, e.g. our regrets, refusing to grow up. Our wandering mind may be lost in thought. Struggling to see the wood for the trees, some of us may be lost in our thoughts, confused because we are overwhelmed, lack focus, yet our confusion may point to other things. Sometimes it can seem as if our will has blown off course or is trapped, as if we are living on automatic. Our feelings may not be as accessible to us, as we would like. At different stages in life we can lose our way, be unsure, uncomfortable, uncertain, not knowing any more where we are going or what we want and may be seeking a structure, secure base. Some of our sense of lostness may also be about lost joy, innocence, kindness, lost creativity, losing our self in our relationship or of an existential nature.
The Truth is, we all get lost as we try to find our way.JaTawny Muckelvene Chatmon
Perhaps the key is to stop, take a look around and enjoy the scenery as we go.
Inner Fog, Drifting For some it can be as if we are in a bubble - not part of the world, in some sort of fog, swept along in life, sleepwalking along, as if something is missing, maybe in a state of inertia, dissociation. This for some may point to feeling frozen inside, numbing our feelings (see also Difficult Feelings). Meandering along, going with the flow, we may also feel lost at sea with our emotions. Sometimes it can seem as if we are looking on, watching ourself from afar. For others it can be as if we have nothing to hold on to internally, have become adrift, struggling to steer our course, like a rudderless ship in the night, without an anchor, like a lost soul needing our own ground, balance, sense of personal boundaries, to trust our innateness. The therapy may explore the narrative from the part of us that sits by our side, allowing us to drift. All this lostness, stuckness, may also impact upon our procrastination, sense of paralysis and struggles with change, transition, affecting our vitality, emotional life, vulnerability & tenderness. Echoes back in time may be affecting us now (see also Relationship Style, Attachment Patterns). Some may be holding on to misplaced loyalties, oaths, sacred cows which no longer support us. Fearful, we may be lost in some of our feelings, maybe disconnected, missing a sense of belonging, lost our focus, attention, concentration or have forsaken our self in some ways, be out of touch with our desires, passions, personal will, interactions. Finding ourselves through connections we make with others may support us.
Lost & Stuck Feeling lost inside, we may come up against life's paradoxes be feeling stuck in life, as if walking through glue, maybe detached, confused and unsure of our way forward (fear of the unknown may play a part). As if cruising or hibernating in our life, we may feel unfulfilled, needing to get in touch with our deepest sense of who we are. What is happening in our unconscious may also point to finding ourselves. It can be as if our very soul is lost, somewhere in the sands of time (and some of this may relate to old traumas, being stuck in our painbody). Running on empty, losing our sense of spontaneity, surprises, some of us may bypass, internalise our feelings, withhold and withdraw. Others may carry a primal wound. Some of our old ways may no longer work and inside we may feel bored. Our lostness or lost focus, inability to make decisions may be connected to our approach - doing things the way we always do, yet we may be seeking another way, a different direction, which we have yet to find (see also Building, Maintaining, Scheduling Supportive Habits, Routines, Rituals, Patterns). Lost in our own world, we may be seeking a different path and to be in our own authority. Our sense of lostness may also point to lost values. In stasis, dawdling along, wanting to get back on track, it can be as if we need a different map, compass to support us - our own compass with a needle, to get back on the right road - our road, maybe a new road (so we don't use others to give us a false reading), putting trust in us, listening to our what we sense, feel, our free spirit and be willing to explore new avenues. (Our compass can also be seen as letting us know what we are emotionally experiencing.) Counselling & psychotherapy can be a space to explore what all this means, finding our own way forward, have some clarity, taking ownership of our life, opening up to what drives, motivates us, being in touch with our sense of coherence and inner continuity. (See also Our relationship, marriage may have become stuck, stale)
It is a joy to be hidden, but disaster not to be found.Donald Winnicott
Feeling Stuck In Life Lacking momentum or struggling to be in the moment, seize the day, move our body (see Physical Wellbeing - Body Vitality & Breathing), things may be stagnating inside. Stuck in suffering, stuck in limbo, indecision, stuck in a rut, stuck in our head and maybe stuck in London, have an unhealthy habit or addiction or feeling stuck in our relationship, we may want to disidentify from whatever limits us, connect more to our own inner direction. We may have numbed our feelings, closed off, shut down, bottled things up as if we feel frozen inside. A sense of ingrained resentment, disappointment, disillusionment, loss, grief or melancholia may be holding us back, especially if we stop ourselves grieving, releasing our emotions. We may feel stuck in life, stuck in self-pity or with certain familiar painful feelings, maybe apathy, feeling low, depressed at the exclusion of other feelings, stuck because we only see situations as problems, holding on to past failures or successes, struggling to let go of something, waiting for something to happen (or our life to start). We may be holding onto redundant or inhibiting rules, loyalties, oaths, sacred cows, obligations, duties, taboos (or nihilistic beliefs). Empty inside, we may be stuck in our old wounds, guilt, shame, unhelpful thoughts, beliefs or our identity that is not close to who we are. Some of us may be dissociated at times, stuck in a certain place or time, caught in wishful thinking, daydreaming, caught somewhere between our past, present, future. Questioning our life's achievements, our life may be rewarding yet unfulfilling. We may not feel fully engaged, lost our sense of purpose. We may have a sense of meaninglessness (see also Existential Therapy London). Counselling & psychotherapy can offer support in exploring what may be emerging for us, our potency, opening up different perceptions, choices, yet first we may need to explore what it's like in the stuckness, keeps us stuck - our hooks, triggers, buttons which can get pressed, our attitude and how we view risks, and how by resisting being stuck can end up compounding our stuckness. The therapy can also be a space to understand the root of our stuckness, lostness, meet our discomfort with kindness, so our heart can open, explore our passions, what it means for us to take action, what gives our life meaning, our own vision and how we might take ownership of our life.
Specific Counselling Questions About Feeling Lost, Feeling Stuck in Life Some of us may have very specific questions, e.g.:
- Feeling lost - I am lost, I feel lost, what can I do? What to do when you feel lost in Life?
- I'm stuck - I'm stuck in limbo, stuck in a rut? Help me I'm stuck in life, what can I do?
- Feeling stuck - help me I'm stuck, what can I do?
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