Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling London, Overcoming Procrastination, Procrastination Help, Procrastination Behaviour, Counsellor London Psychotherapist
Procrastination, Deciding, Acting

Procrastinating & Putting Things Off You may seek procrastination help now, because it’s blighted you for long enough. "I’ll do it later" or "When the time is right" may be our familiar mantras. Inside we can be in a tug of war, which affects our ability to make choices or decisions. Over thinking, we can imagine outstanding tasks much bigger than they are, which can become overwhelming for us. Depleted, most of energy can be expended on thinking of the daunting consequences of our actions, rather than acting. (Ironically, our thinking time may well exceed the time it takes to complete many tasks.) The small things we have put off in the hope that they might go away, may have become bigger. Taking things to brinkmanship, we would rather not make a choice or act, and if we do, it might be at the last minute, or forced upon us by external circumstances. And if we do start things, we may fall back to our own place of not finishing them. Most of us don't like doing stressful or unpleasant tasks, and some of us would like to avoid them forever by choosing pleasurable tasks and having fun. Counselling & psychotherapy can explore your own procrastination issues and ways of overcoming them.

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. Henry Ford

Benefits Of Procrastination We can be free of worry with temporary relief, and at ease. Procrastination is our familiar comfort zone, yet can be experienced as an altered state of our reality. Our procrastination helps us detour around things. It is our seductive friend, enabling us not to deal with difficult people or chores. We can imagine our "to do list" far out of our mind, as if doesn't exist. It doesn’t threaten us. We know how to do it well.

Beliefs & Behaviours Procrastination is a behaviour – an action & can become our automatic response. At the beginning of the day we may believe we will not fall into our old habit, yet we can fall back into our familiar comfort zone, so we don't feel challenged or scared. We can become well practised in negotiating for more time, apologising & avoiding tasks. Some of us may procrastinate by doing things perfectly or not at all, and when we don't have the resources to do things, we avoid them. Others become overwhelmed & immobilised with so much to do and little time to do it in. Other people might rush on full speed ahead, and then collapse, procrastinate until their energy returns.

• I'll just finish other pressing tasks first (yet these tasks often don't get done).
• I'll do it later, when my mood is more creative.
• I'll get round to it, as soon as … (yet we don't).
• I can't deal with this now, I'm too busy, I'll start it tomorrow.
• Will I do it right?
• It doesn't feel right.
• It's bound to be unpleasant.
• There is more to life than working.
• I don't know what to do.
• I will go silent.
• What's the point? I won't finish it anyway.
• He or she is not telling me what to do, so I'm not going to do it.
• The demands, uncertainties & responsibilities are too much.
• I'll just do the fun & interesting things first.
• I'll become disorganised, so I can't work out where to start.
• I'm lazy, stupid, irresponsible, worthless & uncaring.
• I'm not lazy, I just prefer to enjoy things.
• I'm not as uptight as you are.
• Even if I did it, it won't turn out the way I want.
• If you spot my procrastination, I'll laugh it off.
• I find ways you can lower expectations of me. I'll get others to do things for me.

Procrastination Help After a while we may realise that our procrastination doesn't get us where we want to. Because of our procrastination behaviour, it can seem as if we are coasting, drifting or hiding – our confidence & esteem can plummet, as we compare ourselves unfavourably with others. We may judge us as a coward, whereas in fact we may struggle with finding a way through being anxious. Becoming overwhelmed, we may develop all or nothing thinking. We may turn any anger inwards or onto others. Avoidance, putting things off & cancelling things may not only affect us, but others around us, letting people down or backing out of things. Our procrastination may also affect our relationships. People may end up giving us ultimatums. We may feel powerless to change. Counselling & Psychotherapy can help with overcoming procrastination, deciding, acting and completing things. The counselling may also explore your fears, beliefs about how things will turn out, past pain & hurts, your "inner chatter" & doubts, comparisons, perfectionisms, confidence, beliefs about who you are, sources of motivation & support systems

Guilt & Loathing Sometimes our guilt in putting something off can be just as unpleasant as our dread for doing a task. Worried what we have to face, we may loathe who we are as we criticise our behaviour.

Our Internal World Our negative thoughts & beliefs, alongside our emotional reactions (e.g. "I hate doing this"), produce our procrastination. Following our procrastination, we may feel bad, worried, stressed or overwhelmed. Vacillating, some of us may have tried to avoid or ignore aspects of our Iife, we would rather not look at. We may have repressed or suppressed uncomfortable emotions in the hope that they will go away, yet events keep bringing them back and they never quite disappear. A challenge for some may be coming to terms with all of who we are, including the bits we have previously ignored or buried. Beliefs about us, some of them originating form our past, may limit our motivation, choices or ability to complete things. We may also have expectations about how things are supposed to be. Counselling & psychotherapy can help explore these issues alongside what matters to you and your own Iife direction, so the choices you make support this. We may also explore your sensitivities or concerns around control & letting go, exploring ways so you are less overwhelmed, accessing your resources.

The Pain Of Choice Sometimes we can feeI stagnant, as if we see the world passing us by, and we can struggle making choices, procrastinate, put things off or delay & postpone decisions. Avoiding things we don't want to do, we may continuously play out scenarios in our head. In turmoil, we can struggle to make the "right" choices between alternatives or find it hard to discriminate between what is good for us and what isn't. Brushing things under the carpet, our fear & the pain of choice, failure or success can sometimes overwhelm us. We may want to complete something, yet struggle to manage our fears & doubts about our decision or decision making process. We may experience inertia. We can become stuck. Most major decisions initially bring about an emotional response, and then swing to its opposite. This is a natural process, yet can be confusing, especially in a world, where we are supposed to be definite, but in fact we may be ambivalent.

Torn We may also have a dilemma of choosing between two apparently right or two wrong options ("damned if I do, damned if I don't). We may be faced with the challenge of doing a "hard right" as opposed to an "easy wrong". In our indecisiveness we can become anxious about not knowing the best outcome. We can spend much time deliberating, which stops us putting our ideas into action. We can search for the right moment to act, but never quite find it. Sometimes we can become overwhelmed by the challenge of determining how to make the right or best decision. There are many factors to consider when we need to make big decisions. For some it can help to explore which choice brings them closer to their values & goals. For others, identifying the benefits of successfully completing a task, like having more energy or feeling less stressed can be explored. We may also have some control issues. Counselling and psychotherapy can explore these dilemmas, any immobilising feeIings or beliefs about control or perfectionism, etc.

Difficulties Completing & Sustaining Things Some of us may struggle to complete things in our own good time, and end up rushing the last minute. We may only finish things because we have to do it, based on externally imposed time scales. We may struggle to put our own time structures into place, find our motivation or ways to complete things when it suits us. The process of sustaining & completing things usually involves various stages: an emerging sensation or need (something occurs to us), recognising & clarifying it, associated feeIings (e.g. sense of anticipation or excitement, maybe an underlying fear) & thoughts, mobilising our energy, making the choice & decision, putting our will into action, making contact & an impact, ability to be satisfied on the completion, withdrawing our energy & taking rest. Sometimes we can get stuck in this process. How we respond to each stage can affect the outcome. Some of us can start with enthusiasm, yet struggle to complete things. Others can complete things with ease, if only they could start. Our mind may wander, we may lose focus, forget our original purpose, switch or jump ahead to other tasks, which we may also find hard to complete. Psychotherapy & counselling can explore this, alongside any unhelpful habits or addictions, which get in the way.

Our Frustration We may want to get rid of, or "cure" ourseIves of certain frustrating or uncomfortable feelings. Often frustration may be connected to wanting absolutes in an uncertain world. Often it is the frustration that stops us acting, and the therapy can explore this with you. Counselling & psychotherapy can help find ways of understanding why we procrastinate, origins of our procrastination & what keeps it going

There is no certainty, there is only adventure. Roberto Assagioli

Trying New Things Fear of taking risk may be a concern for some. When trying new things some of us have a tendency to act (will) in order to know, yet others prefer to know in order to act. Anxiety & uncertainty about the consequences of the outcome, or fear of making mistakes can stop us acting or completing. We can find ways to sabotage things. In order to make an impact we may want to risk letting go of what we usually do, trying something new, and see what happens, which can be a transformative process.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson

In Touch With Our Values We can be overly concerned about what is the right or correct decision or of what other people think. Confused or with selfdoubt, we can tie ourseIf in knots. We may have forgotten or lost our own values, which can support the decisions we make. Therefore a challenge for some may be how to get in touch with their own values and live them in their actions (see Our Own Path In Life). Counselling & psychotherapy can help us explore our values.

Our Will - Mobilising Our Resources To Act Not taking action can eventually lead to problems, ad our procrastination can become our own downfall. Opportunities in Iife can sometimes be brief, and we may struggle to see or act upon windows of opportunity. When we procrastinate, after a while we can become anxious, which in turn can reduce our desire in taking action. Some of us can wait for someone to push us (or wait for their permission), because we find it difficult to act, as if our personal will is immobilised. The act of willing has many stages. Once we are in touch with our desire & know what we want to do, it can be a difficult step to make a decision & now act by mobilising our resources & taking a leap - sometimes of faith (for details see Accessing Motivation, Acting On Our Will). Persistence, perseverance, determination may be a challenge for some, that no matter what, we will find our way through our difficulties. Our hope may become elusive. The therapy can help explore your sources of choice, resolve & motivation, some of them conscious, some of them not so (for details see Role Of The Unconscious). We may also explore the role of free will.