Please note that I use the words "relationship counselling in London", "marriage counselling in London", "marriage psychotherapy in London", "relationship psychotherapy in London", "relationship psychotherapeutic counselling services in London", "marriage psychotherapeutic counselling London", "relationship talking therapy", "marriage talking therapy" and also "marriage counsellor", "relationship counsellor", "relationship psychotherapist", "marriage psychotherapist", "relationship talking therapist" & "marriage talking therapist" interchangeably. I am trained & accredited as a marriage & relationship counsellor & psychotherapist in dealing with marriage problems & relationship problems, relationship disappointments & expectations, and I am happy to discuss their differences with you.
Please note, for relationship counselling, marriage counselling & marriage guidance I only see individuals who want to work through their own marriage or relationship problems.
I don't see couples for counselling.
Relationship Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Relationship Problems, Marriage Problems, Central London, Camden
Relationship Expectations, Disappointments, Attitudes & Roles
Expectations & Disappointments In Relationships
We can be busy fantasising how the relationship "should be" without considering what we realistically expect. We may have illusions about love & how relationships should be. No woman or man is perfect and it can be impossible for some of us to live up to what we envisage as the perfect relationship, or way of loving. We all fall short of this, and some of us have difficulties accepting our failures & limitations, and therefore our partner's. Our desire to love may exceed our capacity to do so, and we can compensate this by rationalising, blaming us or our partner. Some of us may be almost addicted to love. Our longed for search for the perfect relationship may point to what we idealise or a deeper search for a union, which is not humanly possible.
We may need or expect:
- To be able to talk everything through & find resolution
- That we & our partner should never argue, fight or withdraw, always take care of each other & agree on everything
- A wonderful sexual relationship, full of sexual passion
- Each other to take their own responsibility for their own feeIings, able to share love, rather than expect our partner to fill us up with their love
- To have a lot of fun & easily laugh together
- To have similar interests
- Our partner to financially contribute
- A certain level of contribution towards the household & childcare
- Respect, admiration & deep trust
- A relationship full of affection, holding, cuddling & kissing
- To find each other infinitely interesting, look forward to being together & sharing ideas
- Companionship
- The same religious beliefs
- Shared, common spiritual values
- Other …
Attitudes The Relationship Or Marriage
The attitudes we hold can be the "making or breaking" of the relationship or marriage, and these can be explored in the counselling. Developing a compassionate, enduring way of loving may be a challenge for some.
Our Own Perception
Some of us may have had the experience of falling out of love, because what we thought we saw has changed. Our feeIings have changed, despite the fact that the object of what we perceived has not changed. The person who once lit up our Iife appears to us differently, often smaller. We may wonder how we could ever have loved that person. Our difficulty might not be with our partner, but with how we manage our disappointments & expectations. The therapy can help with exploring our own perception that the world is there, and how we see it is dependent on how we perceive it.
You & Your Role In The Relationship Or Marriage
Despite our best efforts we seem to be unable to make our partner change. Whatever we try, proves futile. It is known that if we cannot be happy internally, it is unlikely that we will be happy with anyone else. Disharmony with our relationship may indicate that we first need to be in harmony with ourseIf by developing inner security, resilience, self-responsibility, confidence & acceptance. Both we & our partner may be stuck in a variety of inflexible roles, that we take on, which may no longer be helpful (e.g. the pursuer vs. pursued, any many other roles...). We may want to explore the role that we personally play in the relationship, become more selfassured in the relationship as a sexual man or woman.
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