Counselling & Psychotherapy

Counselling London Psychotherapy – Workaholism, Work Addiction, Work Life Balance, Work Stress - Counsellor London Psychotherapist
Work Life Integration, Worried We Are Workaholic, Work Addiction

Our work can be rewarding, creative, meaningful, sociable & give us a sense of purpose or a buzz at times, yet the work we do is not the "be all & end all" of who we are. We may also worry about work, putting all our efforts & energy into it, maybe getting lost in it, as if we have become a workaholic. We can become so fixated or wrapped up in our work that we are not mentally present elsewhere.

Overworking & "Addiction" To Work In a competitive world, fully committed to work, some of us can be so busy earning money, climbing up the career ladder, or indeed having made it to the top, that we overlook other important aspects. We may be extremely motivated at work, yet something is missing. We can constantly worry about work, finding it hard to switch off, as if we are on "auto-pilot". We may have a constant urge to work, may be feeling guilty if we don't. Putting in all those hours of work can become emotionally draining. We may have few resources left to do other things, even think about other things. Keeping ever so busy can for some indicate a struggle to slow down & relax. Others may try to please so much, taking on all tasks, doing anything to avoid difficult conversations, that they become overburdened at work. Martyr-like, we may have a subtle or harsh task master inside of us, that is so work driven we don't know how to stop. Keeping our head down at work, we may forget to hold our head high outside of work. Some of us may use our work to cover up other parts of our life - possible uncomfortable dilemmas, thoughts, emotions, etc. or a part of our history we want to forget. It can be as if we are addicted to work.

Overly focused on work, striving to be successful, there can be a cost to our achievements. The workaholic inside of us may be trying to achieve so much at work we can lose our sense of all of who we are, other than our work identity. Work can be a refuge from everything else that is happening (or not happening) for us. We may allow work to dominate everything. We may have sacrificed too much. Throwing everything into our work, as if we are on a treadmill, we may have become absent at home, socially stagnant or struggle relating. Working hard our behaviour may have become machine-like or obsessive, e.g. constantly checking emails, messages, texts, etc, yet we experience alienation or disconnection inside of us. Buried in our work, our very seIf has stopped fully Iiving in other aspects. We can feeI alive & empowered at work, yet disempowered outside work. We can work hard, with little time for selfnurturing (as if our self has been forgotten, overlooked or neglected). Immersed in work we may have become lost. The counselling & psychotherapy can also consider other "healthy obsessions" like our passions & interests, so it is not either our work or life which flourishes, but both – work life balance.

Control & Perfectionism A need for perfection & being over-demanding of ourselves can also affect our work-life balance. Pushing us or others, we may struggle to have a standard which is simply good enough. Needing to control everything, we may have a never satisfied, impatient taskmaster inside of us, nagging us to move on to the next work challenge, without taking time out or enjoying what we accomplished. Binge working, it may seem as if we are on an endless conveyor belt of productivity, yet are empty inside, so we fill our emptiness up with more work. In some aspects we may be out of control, so our need to be in control may come out through our need to work so hard or long hours (see Not Knowing – Our Need To Be In Control). The workaholic in us will always prioritise work over & above everything else, affecting us & others around us. "How can I prioritise me over work?" – may be a challenge for some.

Unreasonable Expectations Sometimes we may have unreasonable expectations. We may persuade ourseIf that once we complete the task, we can then take it easy. Things always seem to take longer than we have imagined, and other tasks are queueing up behind. We may struggle to accept that we can't complete everything, which can create our own office or work stress. On other occasions it may be our boss who holds these views. Our work-life balance has become out of kilter, and we can become addicted to work. We can become increasingly miserable. We may have an unrealistically high workload & receive minimal support. We may be expected to be available and on-call whenever contacted. We may be in a work crisis situation. This can affect our relationships, physical health, emotional wellbeing & psychological health. Keeping busy may be a means of distraction, so we don't have to come up against our anxiety, despair or other uncomfortable emotions. We may also be overwhelmed with a list of so many things to do. We may want to review our personal expectations.

Work-Life Balance Work-life balance can be an easy concept, yet hard to achieve. Some of us may over-commit ourselves at work or become overburdened with responsibilities. There is always work to do, and usually too much. Proud of our independence, we may believe changing this or asking for help is a sign of weakness. Some may believe they have a work-life balance, yet in reality they binge work until they drop and collapse. It is only then they take a rest. With our workaholic tendencies, we may need help knowing and setting our limits, and finding a balance between work & play, so our professional crisis does not spill over into our personal life. We may keep busy at work by shutting down things inside. We may struggle to make time for pleasurable tasks or take breaks, and it is only after we take time to enjoy life, relax & rest that we are refreshed. Our quality of work & attitude to work usually improves. Counselling & psychotherapy can help with your own work-life balance problems & "workaholism".

Work Ambition Being ambitious at work can be our driving force, enabling us to progress, be creative & move up the ladder. Yet if we become overly ambitious at work, it can end up controlling or ruining our life.

The Price We May Pay We may have put our career first, before everything else. When busy, personal things can get put to the side, and before we know it, adversely affect us and others around us. We can set up work scenarios, making us indispensable, or believe we are. We may struggle with balancing pressure & stress. We may thrive on pressure, speed & deadlines, yet after a while collapse or become exhausted, having little time for anything else. We can become hooked on our work, or need to succeed – always giving more, yet our other personal needs - how we look after us & others, may have been overlooked. We may have allowed our work to define who we are as if our identity & sense of worth can solely be based on the work we do. Overworking, workaholism, work addiction, like excessive alcohol, can be used to fill a void. This void may include a sense of emptiness, loneliness or helplessness (see also Avoiding Difficult Feelings).

Internet Working A lot of us spend much of the time in front of a computer, not only at work, but also in our leisure time. We may have become dependednt on the internet more than we realise at the cost of enriching our life in other ways.

Work Related Stress, Stress At Work Behaving like a workaholic, some of us may struggle to switch off from our work preoccupation. We may become a slave to technology, unable to switch off our devices, allowing it to creep in to our leisure time. Worrying about work may also affect our sleep. We may constantly think or even dream about work, being so work driven, "married to work" or indeed addicted to work, that we overlook who is driving - ourseIf. Stress at work, ill health & burnout can result. Work stress can affect us all, especially when we are continuously trying to meet onerous targets, where we feel unsupported by our manager or employer. Sometimes we can be a "work addict" alone, and other times we can be a part of a group of "work addicts", refusing to acknowledge the problem. Fear of failure can also be a driver for some, whereas others can put all their energy into the demands of their work, so they can ignore uncomfortable emotions or relationship or marriage problems. We may for example work hard, trying to provide so we can make our partner happy, yet it doesn't help. Our dedication to work can replace intimacy in relationships & friendships. Our personal life may be not as enjoyable as it could be. We may become depressed. Our work can importantly give us some structure, but our work is not who we are. We may want to get back or reconnect to our own structure. We may also neglect other passions, interests, leisure & pleasure, our joy, physical wellbeing, time for personal reflection, sense of community or spiritual growth, whatever that means for you. Counselling & psychotherapy can help you explore your intrinsic worth & question with you, whether you want to structure yourself around your work or vice versa. Our work stress or burn-out may manifest as:

• Tiredness, permeating all aspects of our life
• Reduced productivity
• Diminishing pride in our work
• No longer enjoying what we do
• Cynicism towards customers, employer
• Lacking empathy
• Moodiness
• Escaping into unhelpful habits or addictions
• Oversleeping, poor time keeping
• Not looking after us, e.g. appearance, exercise, diet, etc
• Neglecting others, e.g. our partner, maybe taking it out on them
• Time off work for physical or emotional reasons, maybe depression
• Being less aware of risk - putting us & others in danger

Successful People We can so strongly identify with our work, that who we actually are can be overlooked. Selfemployed people, or those running their own company or business (especially if it is their own "little baby"), are particularly at risk. People who travel much or work from home may have their own challenges, as the boundaries between work & life can become blurred. Home working can for some mean end up doing the household chores rather than working. The challenges of balancing our work & the rest of our life touches many of us, and includes well educated, successful, creative, financially stable people at the top of their professions: - you may be a "name" or celebrity in your field. Balancing our work & life can be challenging for artists, high-flyers, entrepreneurs, academics, directors, chief executives, senior managers, medical consultants, businessmen & businesswomen. Our work status may no longer be enough, even if we are admired. We may have a low sense of worth. Empty or lonely inside, we may have a sense of despair, unreality, not being who we really are, or truly present. This may particularly apply to celebrities or VIPs. (See also Measures Of Success)

The Cost The buzz & camaraderie, tireless striving & competitiveness, sense of accomplishment, recognition & status, can be fulfilling & bring rewards, as can experience of being at the creative cutting edge. Yet we may become obsessed with status, recognition, reward. And there may be a cost. After achieving what we wanted, we may still experience emptiness inside, which can be explored in the therapy work. Achievement driven, as we expend great energy & time in our work, we may have a sense of something missing in our life. Our esteem may be solely based on our work identity or achievements, yet this may not be enough. We may have lost our sense of who we are, our worth or what we value beyond earning more money. Some of us may be so hooked on making money that meaningful contact with others may be the price. Working harder, achieving more, may no longer be enough to fill our void. Enjoying our work, we may allow work to overly consume our time. We may also have become stuck in our head. We may want to seek various goals important to us, other than financial or work satisfaction. "What other role would I have, other than my work?" we may ask. Our general wellbeing and those close to us may have been overlooked. Constantly having goals at work can be exhausting, with no time off to properly relax & unwind. We may find it difficult to switch off. Work exhaustion can creep up on us without noticing. We may be restless inside, yet not know why. Our measures of success may no longer work. Existential concerns may also arise as can the need to live to our full potential.

Unmotivated At Work Some of us may be bored or unmotivated, unfulfilled or unsatisfied or dread going into work – that Monday morning feeling, which can affect our moods & relationships with others. Alienated, we may be spending so much of our energy & time at work, that we have become resentful of the costs to us & others. The counselling can explore these effects & options with you, alongside your attitude & how you use your time when working.

Other Work Problems Counselling & psychotherapy can also offer help with other work related issues. These may include work motivation, organisational or structural changes, bullying or harassment (racial, sexual or other) at work, unfulfilling work, redundancy or retirement concerns.