Please note that I use the words "counselling services London", "psychotherapy London", "psychotherapeutic counselling in London" & "talking therapy" and also "London counsellor", "London psychotherapist", "psychotherapeutic counsellor in London" & "talking therapist" interchangeably. I am trained & accredited as a counsellor, psychotherapist & talking therapist and I am happy to discuss their differences with you.
Counselling London Psychotherapy – Central London Counselling Services - Counsellor London Camden Psychotherapist
Living To Our Full Potential
Transforming Our Life By clarifying more of who we are now and understanding the impact of our past, we may want to transform our lives with new direction & search for meaning (understanding). We may want to create a Iife of our own choosing taking responsibility for our own future. Questioning our own fragile, earthly existence, we may also have a need to belong or connect to others, the wider society & a world which is more than our personal world.
Life Transition, Direction & Existential Concerns Fear of dying, and indeed fear of living can lead us to an existential search. Some of us may have a sense of alienation, loss, grief, pain or deep sorrow for us & the wider world - our existential angst. We may even experience disappointment, frustration or anger. Some people call this a midlife crisis, experienced like a lamenting, as if our soul is wailing. Often as we get older, these reflective concerns become more important as what really matters to us evolves. In counselling & psychotherapy we may want to explore how we belong in the world (see Inner Loneliness). These less tangible transitional challenges may point us to seeking different personal values or meanings.
Longing & Yearning Feeling empty or lonely inside, as if something is missing, we may also be confused or stuck without tangible causes. At any stage of our lives we may get a sense that "the old show is over", that we can't get it back - a letting go process, so discovering & creating a new way of living may be a desire for some. Through the ongoing process of maturing or ageing, many of our problems may also be about our longing - yearning for a deeper connection with us, others, the world & the sublime. (See also Existential Concerns)
Self-Growth Like healthy plants we need the right nourishment to flourish & grow, so our emotional & physical needs are met or are in balance. Nourishment for us human beings, includes a need for meaning. Our need for survival, and to no longer just get by in the world, may also point to questioning life's meaning. For some people this experience may move towards a spiritual search or connections.
Our Own Path We may realise that rich meaning cannot be gained from what others tell us or impose upon us, nor by simply entertaining ourseIf. We may have often followed a path which is not really our own - one that others have set for us, depriving us of our own meaning, true to us. Our own truth may become more important to us than how we appear to others. We may want to be free to trust & responsibly live from our own, chosen ways rather than blindly follow others' rules.
Our Own Internal Resources We need a range of internal resources to make sense (meaning) of Iife's encounters (for details see Life Re-Appraisal - Our Internal Resources).
Self-Awareness & Reflection Some people use counselling & psychotherapy to reflect upon themselves & the world, so they can know, manage & direct themselves more, not just cognitively, but also with their sense of intuition & inner wisdom. Becoming more aware of the power of who we are, may also be challenging for us in how we are personally responsible & accountable in the world. Some may want to feel more intimate with others, balanced physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. Others may want to explore their uniqueness as an individual, and at the same time their similarities with others. Counselling & psychotherapy can also be used to explore being "in the moment" rather than at the hands of fate or stuck in old familiar ways. As we develop a deeper sense of who we are we may be in touch with consciousness & personal identity issues. Others may want to create healthy personal boundaries.
Suffering & Love In nature there is much uncertainty & chaos, and we humans often try to avoid this natural process. For many of us, the awfulness & awe of the world can at times be overwhelming (see also Our Resilience, Hardiness & Protecting Our Personal Boundaries). Some of us may also want to avoid Iife's inevitable sufferings, loneliness, or wait for love, as if it will come to us. Yet love is also a verb – the action of being loving to ourself & others. Through suffering & managing our frustration, we can sometimes be in a place where it is OK not to know all the world's mysteries. The space for our creativity emerges. Therefore, the psychotherapy may involve a frustrating yet creative process of guiding you through life's suffering: confusions, chaos, darkness, uncertainty, limitations, apparent contradictions, paradoxes, the unknown and mystery. Through this "suffering of the soul" - our aloneness & connectedness, new values & meaning may emerge. We may want to re-think the values on which our living is based. We may have a strong sense of inter-connectedness acknowledging the universality of suffering & love. We may want to address existential issues or have such questions as: "How do I survive suffering and limitations in the world?" or "How do I express love?" Some of us may want to use the therapy to explore, or be in touch with, the universality of Love & compassion beyond personal relationships.
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.Carl Jung
Living Life To Its Full Promise A challenge may be to live to full promise & potential, for love, expanding mind & imagination, creativity & spiritual growth, which means different things to different people. For some this may simply mean, letting go, taking responsibility for themselves, their values, and other people. Some may want to connect to a deep compassion for the world. For others spiritual search & growth may mean connection with energy larger than the personal, a spiritual connection with nature, the universe. What this energy or spiritual consciousness means, is for each individual to interpret. The NHS take into account the place of spirituality as an integral & important part of a person's health and the Mental Health Foundation have published a paper "Inspiring Hope: Recognising the importance of spirituality in a whole person approach to mental health"; many schools of psychotherapy also acknowledge the psychological relevance of spiritual experiences & religious events. (See also Living To Our Full Potential)
Being & Doing We can be so busy or successful, endlessly "doing" - we forget our own qualities of simply "being", neglecting our very existence, our real seIf, and need to connect & belong. We can make space for our "being", taking us away from day to day anxiety & letting go of our "defences" by relaxing, immersing us in often simple, mundane, repetitious, pleasurable or nurturing tasks. We can be connected & find ourseIf in activities such as washing dishes or the car, ironing, gardening, cleaning, DIY, knitting, cooking, sports, interests, art, literature, music, being out in nature, being with animals, socialising, playing, taking a holiday, walking, being on top of a mountain, by a pond, making love, meditation, praying, reflecting or simply stopping and doing nothing. Silence can for some be anxiety provoking, and for others a place they are closest to themselves, the world & beyond. In many of these experiences we can have a sense (space) of timelessness. What worries or preoccupies us can be forgotten or seen with a different perspective.
Seeking Deeper Meaning Some may seek a deeper connection to themselves and the world. As we selfreflect, we may then see all in a larger than material context, searching for deeper meaning in various ways. As our consciousness awakens & evolves, we may become aware of a collective consciousness, which is beyond the personal. We may have a sense of the universal consciousness, which may include a spiritual awakening (Selfrealisation), which may lead to a spiritual enquiry or deepening, for some, and not for others. Either way as we let go, free of identifications & attachments, and often in silence, we may want to explore that voice of SeIf, from our heart, which we may experience as small & awkward at first.
Connecting To Our Own Inner Direction When we are connected to our authentic sense of who we are and what we are doing - committed to something really worthwhile (our inner direction), our will (motivational forces) can be very powerful. When we act from our innermost place, we have the potential to be more creative. Liberated from our past, free of our old defences and free from anxiety about the future, we are able to be present, living our lives "in the moment" (See also Releasing Ourselves & Letting Go). Windows of opportunity seem to occur more. Some people experience how providence, destiny, inspirational guidance & insight seem to play role in their lives, as if our Iife is co-created. What all this might mean to us, exploring the depths of our own psyche, how we might live our life's journey creatively & what we dedicate our lives to, may present new challenges. Not only our own destiny, but how to influence each other & humanity's destiny in small, simple or powerful ways, may also be a challenge for some.
Our Conscience Through questioning what really matters to us, what is our own truth, we may gain a stronger sense of our core essence - our deepest qualities, what we are born for & with, the heart & soul of who we are, an integrated harmonic sense of wholeness, greater than the sum of our parts. This sense of seIf, with our insights, sense of worth & acceptance gives us greater freedom to create our own opportunities. Some may want to place trust into the essence of their own inner voice. Exercising our free will may be a desire for others. With our free will we can fully express us in our actions. Then, rather than imagine what others expect of us, or what we think we 'should' be doing, we may purposefully choose our own values, guided by our own conscience.
In Tune With Us & The Wider World How we responsibly participate and live our vision in the world may be a challenge. Some may want to explore and live their own personal vision - in service of themselves (our personal will). However, we don't live in a vacuum and it can become clear (sometimes through being in touch with our shame) that our personal vision is not enough, as we consider morality & the effect on others. Our conscience, as our own moral compass, can support us when we act with our own moral authority, accountability and best intentions. A dilemma may be how to be in harmony with us, and also to live in the world beyond us, in service of community, living for the highest good - the calling (universal Will). Experiencing disharmony in our lives, may point to a need to align ourseIf with the world (personal & universal will).
Self-Chosen Values A task for some at this stage of therapy may be about moving away from goal orientated, "completed" values as if they are achievements, towards personally chosen values, which can transform our lives in meaningful ways. These values are unachievable, perpetually generated, evolving & active, lived moment by moment - reflecting what we really want. For some, a challenge may be to intentionally choose our own values with compassion for us and the world, so they can guide, clarify, dignify us, directing our own journey. These values can support & evoke Will, bringing about change & creating consciousness. Many of us experience that it is this consciousness, and not external forces, that points us towards our own life purpose and it is our will (volition) that supports our commitment to this purpose.
Opening Our Heart To Our Own Ethics Further challenges may be how to fully express the Will in our actions with our heart open, develop our ethical stance in the world as we choose our direction in the world.
FeeIing Spiritual, Choosing A Spiritual Path Some may not have any desire to pursue a spiritual path, "repress the sublime", be shy about spirituality, others may choose to embrace this aspect of their Iife. For some people, as they let go of they defences, or are in touch with their creativity, they may want to embark upon a spiritual search. Letting go may lead to being in touch with sense of a spiritual essence and the need to live in a more "soulful" way out in the world. With open hearted compassion, some people may want to undertake a sacred quest of becoming a moral human being, and experience a shift from their mind to their heart. The value of our dreams, imagination, metaphor through stories & poetry, music & dance can assist a journey towards spiritual awakening. Some people report how their perceptions get heightened, their experience of time & space alters, the quality of what they see, smell, touch, hear, taste & feel, alongside their dreams. Spiritually awake, you may want the therapy to include a deeper exploration and connection to your own spiritual path, innate capacities and ideals, living your Iife to its full worth. How your spiritual journey manifests, its development & integrity, is your own responsibility, and belongs to you as your own individual exploration. I may assist you in gaining access to your deepest aspirations yet take a value-neutral stance, not directing you to any particular religious or spiritual belief. Pursuing spiritual enlightenment, with the ability to selfreflect, maintain humility & transparency may be a challenge for some. Remaining grounded, involved in the fabric of everyday living, practical tasks & relating with others may be important for others.
Spiritual Principles Some people may be challenged by how they take personal responsibility for the way they live their spiritual life, in how they can be flexible, cooperative, open hearted & not follow orders. Some may want to explore their own spiritual principles, which may, or may not be connected to their religion.
Summary I see the psychotherapy process as a success when not only what we are going through is resolved or accepted, but when we are able to shape our destiny and live to our full potential in relationship with others & the wider world.