Counselling
in London

Online & London, Camden, Kings Cross, NW1

020 7916 1342
therapy@counselling-london.org.uk

Counselling For Perfectionism, Competitiveness, Fear Of Failure - In London & Online

Overcoming Perfectionism Counselling Being a perfectionist, thorough & doing things right & proper can be rewarding, enhances our motivation. Perfectionism (and competitiveness) has its plus sides, advantages. It can help us achieve things, get great results, be excellent. Yet if we are always trying to be perfect (often believing we have to prove something), do things perfectly, we can miss out on a more rounded way of living or cooperating with others. Insecure inside, our perfectionism may point to longing & yearning for something, which we never seem to find. Ultimately we may become easily disappointed, unhappy, lonely, alienated inside, maybe critical of ourselves & others, which may also affect our relationships. Always having to get it right, or be right, can put unnecessary pressure on us. We may fear failure, struggle with uncertainty or tolerate not knowing things, because we have a constant need to be in control. We may be seeking counselling to overcome perfectionism, feel safe enough inside and the perfectionism counselling in London can support us with this.

Therapy For Perfectionism In London Perfectionism therapy or counselling can help us be less burdened by our needs & idea of perfection and counter-productive beliefs (e.g. we are or must be an impostor if imperfect), by being in touch with our own nature & realistic limitations (maybe our own fear or inadequacies), our shadow and learn not to be such a perfectionist or get carried away with our "all or nothing" thinking, so our perfectionism problem no longer defines us. We may want to let go of the pressure to be perfect, give ourself the space to stumble, make mistakes, simply be human. So instead of "practice makes perfect" we adopt "practice makes progress" - letting ourself off the perfection hook. We all are imperfect creatures, both whole and broken in some way - have strengths and shortcomings. Despite in our heart of hearts we know perfection doesn't exist, changing our attitude and dealing with perfectionism, or fully overcoming perfectionism, may be ambitious for some. Managing perfectionism differently, so we don't have to worry so much, pressurise ourself to be the perfect person, partner, parent, friend, or be work-obsessed, so perfect in our work, have the perfect body, may support us, as may reducing competitive situations, checking whether our expectations are realistic. Being accepting of our mistakes, allowing and showing our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, alongside giving ourselves permission to relax, listen to our intuition, reflect, learn what we need to learn, know our purpose in life may support us in overcoming perfectionism. Discerning between being efficient - doing things right (maybe better and faster) and effectiveness - doing the right thing, what we truly value, may help us in overcoming perfectionism. The therapy for perfectionism may also explore how we think, have balance in our life, so we focus less on the details and more on the big picture, enjoy the journey as well as the outcome, reflecting on what really matters to us, our self-acceptance of our imperfections, including our "crazy, mad moments", "mental wobbles", our quirks, flaws, shortcomings (and accepting imperfections of others), alongside our attitude to progress rather than ingrained perfection, our need of always having to be in control, planning, rehearsing. Counter-intuitively for some, as we own our own imperfections, accept our crazy, mad moments, mental wobbles, this can be healing. Alongside our perfectionism, we may be overly rigid in our thinking, behaviour, struggle to take risks, relate well or emotionally express ourselves, maybe feel a little socially isolated or suffer from bouts of depression or procrastinate. The counselling for perfectionism may also look at its roots e.g. did we decide to be the perfect child and shut down our feelings? In the counselling for perfectionism - overcoming this we may also explore what else may be going on for us:

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